2007-08-22 17:35:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They refuse to live in a nursing home and have no other support.
2007-08-22 17:37:19 · update #1
I have limited financial resources, and between my work and children I have no time left to provide adequate care for my parents. I am torn between my love for my children and my obligation towards my parents.
2007-08-22 17:50:08 · update #2
I think you're a member of the 'sandwich' generation.
Can you get a bigger home and bring them to live with you? The kids would have to learn elder care, but that could bring your family closer together in the long run.
2007-08-22 17:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your first priority is your children.
They are adults and if they cannot take care of themselves, then get a doctor's approval to have them declared incompetant and take over legal rights of their lives. Then contact a nursing home and have them forceably moved there. You may need the police's help on this. Call the state department that deals with the elderly. Ask them for help. Their doctor should also be kept in the loop. If you can get his help, it will go a long way in fixing things.
This sounds mean and disrespectful...but in truth the roles are reversed when parents get in that condition. They become the children and you the parent. As a parent, if you child does something that isn't good for them, what do you do?
The alternative is to leave them be until the state has to step in and help out. Visit them occasionally and then stay out of their lives. Be a good dad and pray that they will be safe.
Sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do, but let things be as they are.
BTW..you sound like a great son and father!
2007-08-30 10:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concerns, but they are your children, and your parents. The two people that make life worth living. You need to bring them into your home find some kind of schedule to balancing everything. The rest will work itself out. Do your parents receive any kind of monthly income that could contribute to the household expenses. Could you empty a room for them. Move kids in together for the time being until you can possibly move into something alittle larger.
2007-08-30 04:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were my parents I would bring them home, find out thru medicare what they are entitled to financially for some sort of home health aide. Also if your children are that small and require a sitter maybe that person could watch over your whole family while your at work? If you have to pay for child care, maybe with your parents Social Security you could combine the care for them as well as your children. This is a tough one, Good luck to you.
2007-08-29 06:17:24 · answer #4 · answered by rainydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly if you had them live with you they could be of great help with the children, both in having more time for them and the fact that the children will learn that life is full of responsibilities. Even though this seems like an imposition it might be the chance of a lifetime for learning and teaching.
2007-08-30 15:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by Merrie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask other family members to assist you and if no one is up for the help, than you have no other choice you have to do whats best for all involved. try putting them assisted living vs. a nursing home this way they could still be together and have a sense of independence. but your parents have lived now you must raised those kids to be law abiding, respectful, and productive citizens. GodBless
2007-08-30 15:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) if you live in new york, call the visiting nurse service.
2) outside new york, call the local department of aging. they will tell inform you about available services.
3) your can also call the service employees union home care ,(seiu, home care) they also provide semi skilled services.
4) speak with neighbors and relatives, they may be able to provide information about services available for seniors.
5) ask you priest , rabbi or pastor.
there are many services available, however, often times we find out only partly or too late.
good luck and god bless you for caring about and your love for your parents.
2007-08-22 18:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by ramni222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a bit stubborn are they? Do your parents not realize that you are extremely busy raising three young children and that you basically have little time to take care of them? I would not want to be in your position...that would be tough...If I were in your position...I would do nothing...let them try living on their own...and let them finally realize that they need to go to a home....seems like it is a huge burden on your shoulders.
2007-08-22 17:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very hard decisions need to be made. Can other siblings help? If it were me I'd see if parents would either want to move in with me, and three active children .... Or look into assisted living.
2007-08-22 17:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do remember one day you will be a elderly parent. And your children see and hear what you do and say. Teach how to give to others. The love you give now will come back to you.
2007-08-30 06:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋