in what state do you HEAL faster... in SOLITUDE or in COMPANY?

Question

isolation or congregation?

Answer 1

Emotional healing has always been a multi-layered process for me. I always have felt inclined to seek remedies and “medication” from my close ones, family and friends. Either seeking an ear that would listen, propping my head against a shoulder I could cry on or paying attention to their thoughts or advice for the best ways to deal with the hurt.

But the actual healing from those wounds for me would usually take place in solitude, where I could be alone with my thoughts and where I could spend some time deliberating on all aspects of my hurt while taking into consideration all words of advice in the solitary comforts of my privacy.

I don’t believe that anyone should be entirely alone in any healing process. Somehow, we do need support from others in our time of hurt. We do need to borrow some strength from the people around us before we could be strong enough to be able face the pain alone.

And sometimes, when one doesn’t seek help for the “medication” needed, and simply retreats into oneself to nurse the hurt alone, the wound he carries might even fester further, and in the end refuse heal at all…

Answer 2

In solitude. Whatever needs "healing" I can come to better terms with by myself. (I never thought for a moment that you meant healing from an illness or injury--but healing more as of the spirit, or the heart.) I'm far too sensitive to others, & if, say, I'd suffered a loss--the company of others who either knew how I felt, or had also suffered it, would only compound & validate a "tragedy." In solitude, I can reflect, internalize, gains insights & even bring a sense of harmony to the healing process. I'd never make a judgment about anyone who requires company. This is just "my" way.
I won't "read" into you question things you didn't say, nor into the word "solitude." For example, you didn't imply "too much time." Solitude in itself isn't "brooding," nor "loneliness" unless one PERCEIVES it so. To me, solitude brings serenity. One can be distracted by company for awhile, but that's almost like sweeping the "healing" under the rug to deal with later.

I have to add, so no one will think me cold, (I'm not); an exception would be--during the first shock of someone's death--the comfort & understanding of one special person would be important to me.

Bruce M--I wish I had said that!

Answer 3

Solitude, for me.
After a death, I cave. I can't stand being around a congregation of people. I don't want to talk because I might cry. I guess I'm too proud in a way. I don't like it when people pity me either.
After a break up, I don't want to hang out with a bunch of people either. Usually my boyfriends and I share the same friends and I don't want to defend myself- so I just let time heal all.

I heal myself and let time do the rest. Everything can't be wrong for forever after all. I realize that it's time to turn a different page in my life, then move on from there.

Answer 4

Feeling lonely is different from choosing solitude and silence.

It is better to be in a smooth going and happy company than to feel lonely. But if silence in solitude is possible that is the best option.

To be perfectly silent is impossible until one evolves to a state of highest enlightenment such as Buddhahood or Bodhisatva.

Whether one is a sage or not but certainly can be sane. Therefore, choose a sane company than being a lunatic loner and choose a sagacious solitude than being in a saner company.

Answer 5

Solitude

Answer 6

Definately in congregation. When one gives there energy to another, positive energy for the sole purpose of making that person feel good, that is very healing.
Some illnesses however require isolation in light of not wanting to infect others, it would be interesting to do a study to see the different healing rates of those in solitude and those in contact with others regularly.

Answer 7

I believe the actual healing is done in solitude but to be in company helps the times when you are alone, which makes the healing easier.

Answer 8

I don't know that you could make an absolute decision on that as it stands.

I'm anti-social so I'd probably heal better by myself but if there was a constant noise that I didn't like or couldn't get used to OR bright light in my face 24/7 or a dozen and one other things that annoyed me, I wouldn't heal cos I'd be stressed.

On the other hand if I was in a room with others watching stand-up comedy performed by lotsa different people I liked, 24/7, I'm sure I'd heal faster cos I know laughter is by far the best medicine.

Answer 9

I heal faster in solitude and isolation, because I take care of everyone else. When I'm hurting, no one really takes care of me. The exception to that is my best friend (who lives more than 2000 miles away from me.) My husband doesn't do sick and he gets freaked out when he sees blood - probably because they gave him a local anesthetic to take out his appendix in Russia (not kidding). He saw his operation reflected in the metal part of the overhanging lamp. Ugh! He cooks for me sometimes if I'm sick or incredibly busy. I'm about to have a significant surgery soon. The last one I had before this was a hernia repair and I did not heal for days, because relatives came to the house shortly after that and did not help me. I had to cook for them. Medical healing requires lots of sleep, water, gentle activity and no over exertion.
If I'm depressed, I heal faster alone also - especially if I go for a long walk in a beautiful place or work outside in the woods or garden. If my feelings were hurt by someone, it often helps to go out with a group of people.

Answer 10

I think that I heal faster among others with positive attitudes and who provide gifts of love and laughter. Being isolated and ill can be a real downer, especially if you need the help of someone if you are really down! Never have too much pride to say to yourself that you don't need anyone for any reason. As the saying goes, "No man (or woman) is an island."