My husband likes to go out and drink a lot. I am totally ok with him going but I rarely accompany him. I work early in the mornings and I just find bars boring. Should I feel guilty not going with him?
2007-08-22 15:46:06 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To put your minds at ease- he never drives drunk. NEVER. We live like 2 blocks from the strip so he walks.
All the comments that say he might find someone new... that's what worries me. So, I try and go sometimes but even when I do I leave way before him. He likes to stay until like 4 am. I can't do it.
2007-08-22 16:58:50 · update #1
no but don't be shocked if he finds someone else from being lonely i learned from the past
2007-08-22 15:56:39 · answer #1 · answered by cool mom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No....but he should feel guilty for going out and wasting money
getting drunk. Its time for him to grow up...Don't you two have
goals as a couple, like starting a family, buying a home or
just getting a few nice pieces of furniture instead of yard
sale stuff? Have him figure out how much money he is
spending on drinks, and try to discuss calmly what his
drinking is costing per month or in the year. You will be
surprised how much money a few drinks a night can add up to. Plus he could be putting himself at risk for getting
busted for a DUI (if he drives) or getting in an accident,
a fight or just falling down drunk. He may say he needs the
time to unwind from work, but there are other ways to unwind
that can involve the both of you and that won't cost so much.
2007-08-22 15:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by Caiman94941 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can't blame you for not wanting to go with him. I am assuming since you are a grown-up, getting blotto no longer interests you. I do have to say I'm shocked you "are ok with it". Why does he feel the need to go out drinking so much. Time for him to grow up I'd say. If he were going out to play a sport or engage in a hobby, that would be a different story. But getting drunk isn't a hobby for a reasonable or healthy person. You need to look at the bigger issue here.
2007-08-22 15:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lula 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oooo...kaaaay. He goes out drinking every night.
At some point this is going to effect his ability to make a living.
At some point he is going to get behind the wheel after having too much to drink.
Could you handle driving for both of you if he gets his driver's license taken away?
Could you handle a 2 AM call from the drunk tank asking for a bailout? Do you have a couple thousand dollars laying around the house for the purpose of bailing him out?
Could you handle IDing him on the coroner's slab?
On top of that, bars are expensive... look at the credit card bills when they arrive.
I think you two need to get on the same page here. You certainly need to get this stuff under control before it hits critical mass. You definitely need to get this under control before you start having any children with him. This is not healthy.
2007-08-22 16:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who is driving hubby home? Have you thought of that?
Also have you heard the old saying " A lonely heart will wander."?
You should try to get out some..
Or give him a very special reason to stay home... With some satin sheets, a nice dinner and a bit of wine?
Could be good for both of you.. You two have let things get stale.
Luka
2007-08-22 16:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by lukabehindu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but bar-hopping is not a health activity for unaccompanied spouses. I would suggest that you discuss a compromise solution that includes doing things together that fit into your early morning work schedule.
2007-08-22 15:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my husband like your hubby, likes to go out and drink with his friends too...
he said they do that just to loosen up after a day's work...
but there was a time when i felt he's overdoing it,you know!
its not nice to have a MAN in your house that's supposed to be at home with you, protecting you yet ,he's out there somewhere in the middle of the night having fun just to loosen up...?
what did i do?
i didnt argue with him about it
i came up to him one night and told him i want to go out with them,
yes! together with his friends...
all of my hubby's friends are already married
they didnt do any thing wrong...
they were all just having fun
i didnt do anything either
i just had good time too!
nothing big deal happened..
i just felt they got a little ashamed
cuz after that night, they didnt went out often anymore
why am i sharing you this...?
well, i just thought that if theres anyone who
you should feel guilty about this... it should be your husband.
not you.
he should be home with you.
2007-08-22 16:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by carl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of ll he doesnt need to be going out that much anymore. He is a grown man and is married. You are a good wife for putting up with it that is for sure.
2007-08-23 01:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by angelbabe1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no, most guys would be would love that you allow that but don't tag along. But he should include you once in a while. If it's a lot, without you, then I would worry. But if it's once or twice a week, it's 'guys night out' and they need that.
2007-08-22 15:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Linda K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, u r right going to club n bars not only boring
but also damaging to one health,so why should u
feel guilty.
2007-08-22 16:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Advanced Life-Form 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sweetie you are not a bad wife... He needs to stay out of the bars. Your marriage will never work. Thats why they call it marriage! A bar scene is for single people.. You just hold your chin up and be proud!! Good Luck
2007-08-22 15:55:51 · answer #11 · answered by bbcrest29 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋