My husband and I always come up short when its time to pay bills and always ask his wealthy parents for a little help at the end of the month. After 3 years of marriage I began secretly taking money out of his check and depositing it in a savings account in my own name; even though we still get money from his parents once a month. He has no clue about it and since he never looks at our finances takes my word for what we have and what we need at the end of the month. I feel bad about it, but I know that the money will come in handy drawing interest. Is that considered stealing?? I'm afraid he'll blow it if he knows it's there. And even more afraid that he'll be angry with me about opening it without his knowledge. Should I tell him about the extra money???
2007-08-22 15:35:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OH God don't tell him, but stop doing that.
no wounder your short on your bills your stealing from him and your self and fooling his parent, even if it in the bank.
why are you doing that ? your not being honest with your marriage , and that's never a good thing.
Hes getting money from his parents to help out with the bills, how humiliating for him and you when he and his parents finds out what your doing.
Don't get me wrong I believe it okay for women to put a little aside for emergencies( and he should know about it) and definitely put some aside if your in a bad marriage( he need not to know),but pay your bills first and don't involve other to pay your way so that you can save.
As a parent if I found out you was doing that and I was making your ends meet I would be vary pist-off at you.
You can save with out doing that.
2007-08-22 16:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥♥♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you made him go to his parents for money every month when you had the money all along? That is very deceitful. Sure the money will come in handy, but what would his parent's think if they knew you had it all along? What would he think based on the fact he has had to face them knowing he has failed at handling his finances for all this time. I would take the money and pay the parent's back and tell them that it was your fault, because you thought he couldn't save. Then I would come clean to him and say that you were concerned about not having any money down the road. Start a clean slate and work out a plan for your finances, setting aside some and making sure all the bills are paid.
2007-08-22 15:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by Linda K 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky one......but I think I can help you out. If you are putting the money to the side because you are being abused and you are using this as part of your escape plan....WONDERFUL!!!! IF NOT YOU ARE A REAL PIECE OF WORK!!!
Should you tell....NO!!!! Not unless you want mad drama from not only him, but his parents as well. I need to tell you I think what you have done is very underhanded and you relied on your in-laws to support you and your husband......when you actually had the means to do it on your own. However, saying something now at this point of the game is not going to help you at all.
I would suggest you take a huge bill you all have ie.....student loan, car note, mortage, credit card bill......something.....and pay it off.........pay off a bunch of stuff if you have to.....but make sure you use the money to do what you were supposed to be doing with it in the first place. PAYING BILLS!!!!
Lastly, never ever play this game again. When you marry someone and you are the person who does the finances......you can't play games. That means this person really really trusts you. So telling at this point would be DRAMA esp with his parents who would have to be told.
2007-08-22 16:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The conditions in which your daughter in law grew up, seems she doesn't have the social skills to know what to tell, what not to tell, to who and when and how. Most couples tell each other a lot. I tell my husband most everything. But the one out of line here is your son really, and I think you being the mom should have told your son directly that he is looking greedy by asking people for too much for HIS baby. Even if people offer....
2016-05-20 05:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see, a marriage is supposed to be based on trust, integrity and honesty. looks like someone doesn't feel very secure. Not only have you been dishonest with your husband but with his parents who are helping to support you. Yes, they may have the money to give you, but don't you think it must be demeaning for your grown husband to have to beg money from his parents because he doesn't make enough to keep things going? You need to admit your failing and lack of truthfulness. Explain that you know he will be upset that you have failed to be honest but that you not having your own source of money has made you feel vulnerable and scared. The money you have taken under the precept that "you didn't have enough to live" is not you nest egg, That money that they gave in generosity and good faith is theirs and although they probably would not take it back, it is not yours to spend. Truth has a way of coming out at the most in convinient times. Don't compound what you have done by continuing to hide it. If your reason for insecurity is because you think you might get divorced one day, you should know that you will be required to divulge the source of that money in court so best to tell , now.
2007-08-22 16:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not like you are stealing the money from him, you are saving it or putting it back for a raining day. It is a very smart thing to do. You never know when something may come up unexpected. I would recommend being honest with him about what you are doing. But you are the only one who knows how he will react to you telling him this secret. If you dont think he will handle it very well, maybe you can talk to him and tell him that you guys need to start creating a saving account incase something unexpected comes up. Hopefully he will agree and think it is a good idea and you can continue to add to the funds you already have put back. Then your problem will be solved. Good Luck, and happy Saving =)
2007-08-22 15:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by Jen G 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow, you are so decietful. I would not tell him about the extra money though. Instead tell him you want to open a savings account, and since he has no interest in the finances now why would he then. Put HIS name on the account too.
2007-08-23 01:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by angelbabe1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl friend i feel you . but i am going to tell you no marriage should have secrets in it . whether they be personal or financial secrets they can come back to kick you in the butt later.
talk to your hubby and tell him and explain that you are concerned only about the future for the both of you and that's why you put the money back . let him be a part of helping you to budget money and help pay the bills. you will grow closer together , with each other. and make your marriage a stronger one.
2007-08-22 15:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah, that is stealing and lying and... need I go on?
You said you take it out of HIS check. If you aren't spending it on mutual costs (putting it in your own account) - that is just so wrong.
How would you like it if you trusted your husband with something and he stole and lied to you?
Put the money back. You've already done enough damage, so I'd keep this to yourself. No need to punish your husband by making him forever worry about trusting you.
2007-08-22 15:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by Lula 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, YES. But tell him you did some research and figured out the money sitting in his account will generate more $$ because the interest rate is higher in the other account. But be matter-of-fact about so as not to raise an eyebrow.
2007-08-22 15:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋