It's been so long since me and one of my best friends have hung out alone. I mean everytime i'm like "You want to hang out?" She's all like "Yeah it'll be just be me and you tonight just like old times." And as soon as I get there there are like three other people. I told her that I missed hanging out by ourselves and everything and she's all like "I'm changing now and growing more mature then you.I have a boyfriend too...and well you don't so I can understand why your being childish." it's like...I didn't even mention your boyfriend. I'm just sick of being like "OH me and my best friend are going to hang out now. like old times." and...it's not. I don't like that at all. Am I just being a kid like she said?
2007-08-22 14:14:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's not the fact that she has other friends that gets me upset. It's the fact she says something like "We are going to hang out one on one and talk and everything and hang out like old times" and the next day when I come to her house she has like 4friends over when she said we were going to catch up on our friendship.
2007-08-22 14:42:49 · update #1
Apparently, your relationship has changed. Your friend's need to spend time alone isn't the same as yours. Perhaps her commitment to the friendship isn't the same as yours any more. It's not that you're being a kid. It's more like you might want to reconsider the relationship. It's not going to be how it was before. If you can accept the way things are now, great! If not, it may be time for you to move on.
2007-08-22 14:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she all of a sudden has turned into a "better than thou" person. She was your best friend & has the nerve to put you down because she all of a sudden is mature? Actually, that shows how immature she really is if you ask me. You don't belittle your friend nor do you put them down. Just because she has a b/f doesn't make her "mature". No, you are not just being a kid. You just would like to spend some time w/your best friend for a change. There's nothing wrong w/that. She's the one who needs to grow up & learn what the value of a best friend is & also learn some manners & how not to hurt the people who care about you. Now that she's so "mature", she should start acting the part instead of voicing it. Actions speak louder than words & that's one lesson she hasn't learned yet. Actually, she has a lot to learn yet. One is not to turn your back on your one time b/f because you suddenly have others in your life. She needs to learn a little about caring & sharing, sharing her time w/her b/f instead of turning her back on her. Try not to be hurt by her, she still has much more growing up to do. Of course she doesn't realize it at this time.
2007-08-22 14:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're friend sounds like she was being very very blunt with you. But she was sounding like a real butt head while she said it. Ask her to look in YOUR prospective. Or, perhaps, you need to take a step away from your friend and find a GROUP of people.
Maybe you, yourself, should get a boyfriend.
She had no right to say that to you, but I don't think you should have a friend that tells you that you're a kid and leave her alone. She seems like she's gloating about her "new friends" and "beautiful boyfriend". You shouldn't have a gloating friend.
Get out more and avoid her and make HER want to be "just us" again.
If she doesn't want to hang with just you, then she isn't respecting your friendship.
Don't get upset.
Get OUT and do something about it.
2007-08-22 14:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by My Name Doesn't Fit Here 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being a kid and it is perfectly normal to feel disappointed. Every individual grows mentally, physically and emotionally at different pace. Our interest in life change for the same reason: growing up. Never limit yourself to only one friend. A true friend is very hard to find but they are out there. Friendship needs to be cultivated by respect and communication. A true friend is there for you when you face difficult times in life. One last time open your heart and express everything to your friend but also include that you are willing to move on. High expectations on individuals results in many disappointments.
2007-08-22 14:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have a right to be slightly upset IF she indeed said that you two would hang out alone but then she invited others, too. And yes, you are being a bit childish if you get upset about her having other friends. My little brother is 30 and he still hasn't grown out of that mentality. He thinks that his friends can ONLY be friends with him and it royally pisses him off if they end up being friends with me, too. If I were you, just hang out with her no matter who's there and make the best of it! The more, the merrier, right?
2007-08-22 14:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You have a right to be upset. Talk to her. Tell her that you don't mind hanging out with her friends, her boyfriend, or her whole neighborhood... but that once a month or so, you'd like it to be just the two of you... Invite to pick her up to take her to dinner or to meet at your house (where you can control the number of visitors).
But it sounds like to me that she is moving away from you emotionally... maybe she wants to act more mature, hang out with her boyfriend, and just doesn't see that the two of you have anything in common any more.
Instead of saying "like old times" - say "Let's catch up on our friendship..." and make it clear that it is just you and her.
If she blows you off or continues to invite others to your private moments... well... you've got your answer. She isn't interested in a one-on-one friendship with you anymore.
2007-08-22 14:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have all the right to be upset.
What you need to understand is people change over times.
In my opinion, she is losing a precious friendship with you. She kinda compared about how she has a boyfriend and you don't. That is childish to me.
You are the kind of person who values friendship, and she does not. This makes you special. My advise is to not waste time trying. It is not worth it. There are more people out there who would appreciate the kind of friendship bond you have.
2007-08-22 14:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by kaylasumm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I can't believe that she would say something like that to you. Sounds to me like you need to move on, but not because she feels you are immature.
There isn't anything wrong with wanting a friendship to last. What you do need to realize is that people do change and grow, and that true friendship accepts those changes and goes with it.
Sounds to me like she needs to respect your feelings also. It wouldn't hurt her to hang around once in awhile for old times sack.
Maybe she wants to move on and is just bad at saying it?
2007-08-22 14:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by momsplinter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really, but your best friend doesn't want to hang out with just the 2 of you so get another friend.
2007-08-22 14:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think you would be upset if she said such nasty things to you. A best friend would not put you down like that. My advice is that you might need to have space away from her for a while until she gets over "I'm more mature than you" attitude.
2007-08-22 14:21:10 · answer #10 · answered by Kain Nero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋