How can I survive financially? I need either suggestions or success stories to boost my morale.?

Question

I am scared to death. A few months ago, I discovered I was in trouble financially. I am 26 years old and have no idea how I'm going to survive. I had to take out a loan to pay off my credit cards which I had to use to pay for school and school related expenses. I now have a monthly loan payment, standard "living" expenses, gas, rent, car maintenence, insurance. I don't know how I'm going to survive.

Please, I know a lot will say to get a second job and I want to do that more than you know. The problem is, and I don't expect you to understand, that I still live with my parents and I have a dad who doesn't know about my money problems and can never know. There is no way I could hide a second job from him.

My dad is my hero, but he lives in the past with his thinking. He thinks of how things were when he started out and doesn't really understand how things are drastically different in today's world, financially. Being so young, not living on the street seems next to impossible.

Answer 1

Tell your father.. and do it now....

Half your money problem is for SHAME about getting in the fix you are in. A father's love is unconditional, and yes he might disapprove, and no he might not bail you out... BUT... ALWAYS be honest with him and your mother too.

Thats one relationship you really cant screw up... trust me... your dad will still love you.

Believe it or not... things arent that different than when he started out, and if you lay it out in front of him, ask ASK HIM to help you help yourself ( NOT bail you out).. you will be amazed at what he will do to help you get back on your feet.

There is NO SHAME in making mistakes and admitting them... there IS SHAME by not seeking help that is right in front of your nose...... Do it now... trust me..approach him BECAUSE he is your hero. Tell him that..

Answer 2

Just take a deep breath. Is it possible, even for a short amount of time to give up something such as your car to survive? Could you rely on public transport or carpool to get to work. The reason I ask is that obvously you need to pay off your debt in order to be financially stable again. Cars are extremely expensive and would free up a lot of cash if you could give it up. If you can't give up your car, put yourself on a very restricted budget for a while -- very limited entertainment expenses etc. I understand that you don't want your folks to know. Taking out a second job is not always the best idea either becuase there are only so many hours in a day. The best idea really is to severely limit how much money you spend so that you can pay back what you owe. Cut up those credit cards and stop using them so that you won't accumulate more debt. In the old days, if you didn't have the money you didn't spend it. Now because credit cards are easy money, most people end up spending much more than they can really afford - and that is the hard lesson that you've learned. Many of us make this mistake - and as hard as it is to believe, you can get through it. If any of the above suggestions don't work, go to see a bankrupcy or financial adviser who can lead you through step by step solutions.

Answer 3

Eventually your dad is llikely to find out how deeply you've dug yourself in, so you might as well go ahead and tell him. You might be surprised at his reaction - by the time somebody's been a parent for a lot of years, most people deal pretty well with problems. And what you have done, while certainly not good, isn't all that awful or unusual. Parents have dealt with their kids doing things a whole lot worse than running up bills.

Tell him you are going to look for a second job - and tell him why. You're better off telling him before you start getting calls and letters re debts you can't pay, and he wonders about them.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Would he honestly be mad at you for having a second job? You have to do this for you. I'm in the same boat, school, car bills are too much, I had to take a second job to pay some bills down. See what you can do to shed some of your debt. Are you still using your cards? If so, your going to be digging your hole deeper, I'm not saying to close your credit accounts, that is a bad move, you close those you end the history you've built with your creditors, but put them away, and don't think about using them. I have so many bills, I'm starting with one bill, I will have this bill paid off in 3 months, this is huge for me, once I get this bill paid off, I'm going to take the money I've already been using for this bill, and put it toward another bill, this will in turn pay this bill of twice as fast, and ect, I'll eventually be able to pay everything off. Be ready to do this, it isn't easy. Maybe you don't have to tell him why your taking on a second job, maybe your doing it to shed some of your free time, you don't have to go right out into confession about your bills. I know where your coming from, email me if you have more questions! Hope this helps.

Answer 5

You're going to have to face reality, unfortunately.

You got yourself into this position and are going to have to do whatever it takes to get out of it. Cut back on non-essential expenses and/or increase income...those are your two options, preferably a combination of the two.

Cut the crap and stop using your dad as an excuse to not get a second job...just do it already. You're a 26 year old adult in debt and need to do whatever you can to get out of it. Period. You don't necessarily owe your dad a full detailed explanation of your financial troubles - just tell him you took a second job for the experience and/or extra money, and leave it at that.

There will be no "success story" if you don't change something about your lifestyle, and the sooner you face that reality the better.

Answer 6

You sound very angry. I know what anti-feminist is, but I can't say I totally agree with what your saying. My mother married at 16 my father was 18, they are still together. They shouldn't be. She worked watiress jobs, at a cleaners and a meat packing warehouse and a factory. Pretty much the same as him. She had four kids by the time she was 32 and finally landed a good factory job she stayed at until retirement. Him too. She did not know anything about a feminist movement, but she held that job, raised all of us, stayed with my dad and retired with quite a bit of money from stocks in that company. My father did the same. He landed a good factory job and stayed to retirement. (Back when you could do that) Now, salary wise they were about equal. Socially, my dad had the upper hand, it was the times. His idea of acting like a man was running off at the mouth. She handled everything while he talked. My mother did what she had to do to survive her life. My father was not understanding. There was no communication (still isn't) and he downed her constantly. But at the same time, she was smarter than him and she came out on top everytime. She ignored, babied and outsmarted him. My mother was raised to survive. If she would have been born at a different time, she might have done things differently, but I admire her more for accomplishing what she has through her life due to her own drive and attitude. She didn't measure things by who told who what or who paid for what, she had her own mind and did what she wanted in her own way. She was smart and made it work. Even in her opressed times, my mother came out on top. She not only was smart, but sweet, kind and a steady role model. She was a superior woman. But she never forgot she was one and didn'nt want to. I hear you on the feminist thing and it has changed a lot of rules but lets not forget we are women. The bottom line is what you feel inside and doing what you feel you are big enough to do and what will you do to get it done. We can still be women, get what we want, do the job better, smarter and more efficiently while still being feminen. There is no shame in loving your husband, likeing your home and housework, cooking if thats what your into & still be in large and in charge. My mother is the strongest person I know. I do live is this world, today, and I have said to her, how could you stay through all this. She doesn't explain. I wish I had half the confidence she has.

Answer 7

first of all you have to be serious about it if i was in your shoes and i was in bad shape financially i would do a self examination of my lifestyle and how i spend money that would be the first thing i would do then i would talk to my dad and explain to him my situation as being a parent myself i would at the very least listen to my child and try to understand and if possible help them out whatever way possible whether bit be financially or as support and personally i would get a second or even a third job if i had to and as far as a success story i started out in a foster home at 6 yrs old and was homeless at 15 sad story but nevertheless a inspiring story presently i am 34 years old and came down a path of many hardships and hard times but if you keep a sensible goal in mind you can acheive whatever it is that would make you happy whether it be financially or spiritually i now own my own drywall business and make apprx 45,000 to 65,000 a year and living comfortably with my wife of 12 yrs and my two boys 8 and 10 who are my future proteges all im saying is KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and dont quit trying only the strong survive

Answer 8

for most people, I think investing in their education is highly desirable. The long run payoffs are well worth the present costs and our government's student loan interest rates.

That said, it sounds like your over a full cycle [semester? year?] cash outflows are bigger than your income.

There are only a few limited solutions to that problem:

more income
lower expenses
more debt

In essence, that's all the choices there are.

From what you say, a 2nd job isn't possible. Is your father supporting your education? If not, would he be willing to?

How could expenses be cut?

And how/where can you borrow at long term rates [good job paying off those credit cards -- their interest rates are killer]?


GL

Answer 9

I am really trying to be nice here, but it is difficult. Your dad lives "in the past" and doesn't understand today's finances? Yet, I bet he isn't in debt up to his eyeballs like you even though you do understand today's finances. You are 26 years old and apparently still need to grow up. If you had listened to his advice and hadn't borrowed money, would you be in your present situation? Give your dad some credit because it sounds like he is truly the one who understands the dangers of today's financial environment and not you.

Now, after slapping you in the face, let's talk about how to get out of this pickle. The first thing you have to do is tell your parents. Most parents are very understanding of their children's mistakes because they may have been there themselves. They will probably be disappointed because they will probably think they have failed you (and not the other way around). You might even find out that your parents already know. So tell them and ask for their emotional support.

Next, IMO, you need to work through this yourself. So, tell your parents that you will repay the debts without their help. Come up with a plan to get out of this mess like an adult would do.

Now for the plan. My advice would be to sign up for a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class. You will learn how to manage all aspects of your finances over a 13 week period. You can find classes near you at http://www.daveramsey.com.

The first step will be to create a written budget where you tell your money how it will be spent before the month begins. Savings is included in the budget. Your expenses (including money put into savings) should equal your income. That doesn't mean you will spend every dime. Some will be saved and some will hopefully be put into retirement once you have this debt paid off.

Second, you need to put $1000 in savings for emergencies. It's not your ski trip money - it is to be used for emergencies only. This will keep you from having to borrow more money.

Third, pay off the debt as quickly as possible through the debt snowball. List all of your debts smallest to largest. Pay minimums on everything except the smallest. Put as much money towards that debt as possible. Once paid off, roll the full amount you were paying monthly on the smallest into the next debt on the list. For example, suppose the minimums on your 2 smallest debts were $25 for the smallest and $40 for the next smallest. Maybe you would be able to pay $60 per month on the smallest and the $40 minimum on the next smallest. Once the smallest loan is paid off, you will then add the $60 you were paying on the paid off loan into the one with the $40 minimum meaning you will then be paying $100 per month. By doing this, you will be encouraged when you pay off that first loan and then the second and then the third.

Getting a second job to help pay off your debts will obviously speed this process up immensely.

This is just the start. You will learn where to go from there in Financial Peace University (or you can purchase one of Dave Ramsey's books).

Now, take a deep breath. Most things are not as bad as they seem when you are in a pit of despair. The sun will come up tomorrow and life will go on. You are not going to be homeless and out on the street. There might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise it is there. Work hard and with the tools taught by Dave Ramsey, you will reach the end of the tunnel before you know it.

Living by a budget will take lots of discipline, but if you stick with it, your life will be much, much better.

Answer 10

You suddenly discovered you are in financial difficulties - how is that? What state of ignorant bliss were you in before?
Your dad is your hero but you can't tell him you need to work a second job to pay off your debts? Why - what's he going to do? Throw you out? Kick your butt? Cut you out of his will?
Sounds like a simple case of you spending - and being seen to spend - beyond your means. Swallow your pride and get busy.

Answer 11

Your Dad may be more sympathetic than you think but if you're sure he wouldn't understand, just tell him you took a second job to "get ahead." Hopefully you have learned a hard lesson. Living at home should have been the opportunity you needed to "get ahead" so apparently you overextended yourself by parlaying a gift into a debt.