ok please help!!!!!?

Question

heres the thing I feel that my husband of almost 9 years has been having an affair. he hides phone calls from me by either deleting them or by going outside to take them. he treats me differently I am so very confused. He talks to women online and I deletes them I found out by logging on to our joint email and a female popped up. He got a text message at like 10:30ish one night and left at 2:30 because he "couldn't Sleep" and went to work and has even told me that there is proof that he was at work? also a few nights later he got a text message at like 12:30 midnight and told me that it was his uncle but it wsn't it was a coworker. but he says he doesn't love me the way he used to but I have seen that spark in his eye that he once had for me when he looks at a co-worker and it ticked him off when I comfronted him about it. Swearing that he could never feel that way becuase he could lose his job, I said what about you family??? what do yall think ?

Answer 1

Red flags are waving all over the place.

Cheating spouses tend to change their behavior in many ways, it's hard to lead this double life without it affecting their behavior. Saying things like "I'm not in love with you anymore" are really common for someone who is cheating.

Did he have extra income for that time at work? Whatever he is doing, he is already stepping over the lines.

Check out the following yahoo group site, look in FILES. Simple to join. Not a good support group, but many helpful articles, such as signs of an affair and ways to search for the truth, evidence. Lots of helpful links also.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/

Consider getting some counseling, someone certified in marriage counseling. The site above gives some things to look for in a counselor. Maybe a retrouville weekend program with the follow up.

If your husband will not do this, then tell him you will be getting legal advise from an attorney, to protect yourself. A marriage can survive this insanity, but it will take lots of effort and your husband will have to get his head out of his a$$ and start working to repair the damage he is doing to his family. Sounds like he is deep in self denial right now. It might take some real confrontation and possible consequences to get him to realize what he is doing and face the fact that if he continues, he will lose his family. It's a whole different game when reality crashes in.

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound crass, but the next thing you will see is a lighting bolt!! Honey, all the signs are there. There's no reason for a man to leave the house in the middle of the night because he "can't sleep". Would you? If it's walks like a duck and talks like a duck- well, you know what I mean. But that's just me!!!

Answer 3

I have deleted calls and I have taken calls outside. I was not haveing an affair. I knew that my wife had a few months to live and she did not know yet. Sometimes things are not what our insecurities lead us to believe.

Is your husband having an affair? I have no idea. The people on this site have no idea. What do you think he is doing?

Answer 4

The dam co-workers, company's needs to put a stop to all the bed jumping that goes on in every company. They know it goes on but yet do nothing about it,everyone should be fired right on the spot so everyone can see. My husband did it to me,he started not to be nice to me and never wanted to be in the same room with me and the sex stopped.So now you know what are you going to do about it,sit around and hope he comes to his senses.If you want your husband back you need to show him that he isn't the only man in your life you need to go out and stay out all night let him worry about you and who you are with.Jealously is the key do to him what he is doing to you,just don't go all the way make him think you did.

Answer 5

Your hanging on to something that is over. What he said "doesn't love me the way he used to" that would be it for me. Everything else that is going on relates to that statement. He just doesn't want to be a total d--- about it. He is warning you whats to come by telling you that; it will all be brought to light and everything will make sense. I would start plan B now preparing to move on, move out and get someone you deserve. (I'm the type that would call the job and tell them what's going on to get him and the co-worker busted).

Answer 6

Ouch to the "I'm not in love with you part." That statement right there tells you that he pretty much does not care what you think and he is so cheating on you. Not feeling the same way about you, means I am no longer in love with you and I am going to cheat and do as I please.

Get yourself a little self-respect.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Sweetie, you already know the answer. You just need someone to agree with you. Well, you've got a bunch of us online, saying...time for you to move on! Good luck, you'll be alright!

Answer 9

Yeah...cheating...confront and demand answers. Contact his boss and ask if he is supposed to be working at 2:30 in the morning. Also, let his boss know who it is that is texting him.

Answer 10

Oh heck yes...he is having an affair. You need to do something now. Tell him you know he's cheating so he may as well fess up now.