Why do people still get married in 2007?

Question

I honestly don't see the benefit of marriage for either party. Its nothing more than a ring and a piece of paper. You can be in a commited relationship and live together and have kids without marriage.

I don't think I'll ever get married because I don't see how its different than a regular commited relationship.

Plus, its hard to get out of and can cause finanical and legal problems if it doesn't workout. The only benefit I see is if you are insecure and need someone to be your partner by LAW to feel commited. I'm not that insecure.

Answer 1

i agree. since the whole institution and legal system we live in are against marriage, its hard for any individual to take that step of faith without being deeply concerned of its possible consequences.

Answer 2

Well first of all buddy its when two are united and want to last. Once your married you have to be and stay faithful all the time. I'm Married. It really isn't all about the ring and a piece of paper, your right on that, its about the love and compassion you have for that person. Once you say your "I do" that's what changes it all. It is a very important process in life and everybody different from their perspective on their idea of marriage, but you shouldn't change the fact that most woman and men enjoy the fact of marriage. It is a big part of them, their whole world, and their whole life all depends on them. Marriage is a tough thing to go through throughout your first year but then you move on and have a family and stay committed to the one you decided to put your life upon and marry then thats what's important.

Answer 3

"Plus, its hard to get out of and can cause finanical and legal problems if it doesn't workout. The only benefit I see is if you are insecure and need someone to be your partner by LAW to feel commited. I'm not that insecure. "

There is your answer. There is no such thing as a committed relationship if there are no serious consequences for leaving the relationship.

The paper also entitles you to benefits for tax purposes and death benefits.

And for those of us that believe in God it is the way he wants us to do it. A marriage is a public profession of faith and commitment that you don't get when you just live together.

A good marriage that each works at because they believe it's for life...is better than anything else out there. I like the idea that I'll live my life with the man I love and I'll be by his side until death do us part. What better way to be committed. There is no other.

Answer 4

I think what is focused on too much is the wedding and not the actual marriage. People don't see past the pomp of the wedding day, nor do they realize there is a lot more living to do after the vows.
I also think people (men and women) might be pressured into marrying because it's "right" or "time".

I remember what priest said prior to my marriage - "You are Mel Blondie, and you are Gluemeister. People will think of you as one person, but you're not. You're still Mel Blondie, and you're still Gluemeister. You aren't attached at the hip, and you don't own each other."

But you know what? To a certain extent, you're right. Marriage isn't for everyone; it's not. I have friends who've divorced two and three times already.
And I have some friends who've never married and don't plan on it. And that's okay too. I don't judge them because they aren't.

To each their own.

Answer 5

i think the idea of it being "just a ring and a peice of paper" come from people who only get married for those reasons. i agree that these days the divorce rate is high, and people are getting married when they are not ready, and this causes more problems later on. what i think should happen is people understand the MEANING of marriage, and not get married until they are ready to. people dive in cos they want the big day and the pretty things, but they dont realise what a wedding is all about. i think people are too youngm, and some people are getting married after only a few months of being together, they have not tried living together, or understanding the person they are marrying. Marriage is seen today as a joke (of course not all do though, im generalizing and talking about the people who rush into it).

Answer 6

Of course you can be completely committed and not be married. However, for a lot of people going through a marriage ceremony solidifies that commitment. When I got married, my husband and I already had a child and had been committed to each other for quite some time. For us, getting married was not just a celebration of our union, but also a way for us to unite our family and friends. Marriage to us is unifying all aspects of our lives. It was a way for us to clearly state to our friends, family, and higher powers that be that we have joined together in spirit and in life and we accept each others friends and family as our own. Marriage isn't for everyone, but for those who feel called to it, it is truly a beautiful thing to be respected and not demeaned.

Answer 7

The thing is, you need to prepare yourself for a lifetime of being alone. No sane woman will be mother to your biological children if she fears that its more likely than not that she will end up shouldering the whole burden alone. It just doesn't happen like this: if you want a family you must make sacrifices; if you don't want a family, you will need to make other kinds of sacrifices. You can't have a family without providing for them, even if you get bored of it. Son, you seem to think you can 'have your cake and eat it too' - that's just not realistic.

Welcome to the real world.

You seem to think that living together is the same this as being roomates - WRONG. In many American states and all of Canada, it's called 'Common Law Marriage' and many of the same rules apply; you can file joint income tax returns, and get the tax breaks you are entitled to, etc. It's not quite the same thing legally speaking as getting a marriage certificate - but there are strings attatched.

Says Wiki:
"Common-law marriage (or common law marriage), sometimes called informal marriage or marriage by habit and repute is, historically, a form of interpersonal status in which a man and a woman are legally married. The term is often mistakenly understood to indicate an interpersonal relationship that is not recognized in law. In fact, a common law marriage is just as legally binding as a statutory or ceremonial marriage in some jurisdictions — it is just formed differently.'

You appear to think you can make babies and then hide in the shadows pretending to be the 'roomate' of the mother of your children.

Grow up.
With that self-centered attitude expect to spend your life alone.

An acquaintance of mine split with her ex after a common-law marriage (no kids). The judge ruled in her favour: all assets obtained AFTER the time they began living together were ruled as JOINT ASSETS - just like in a marriage - marriage!

Evidently the judge was not impressed with the arguments put forth by my acquaintance's former common-law-husband. He kept referring to her as his former 'room-mate' and it appears the judge became somewhat annoyed...

Answer 8

I think it is so sad to read your question. It says a lot about our society. We have become a throw away society and like the easy way out. What happened to committment and being married to someone for life? What happened to working at a marriage? It isn't supposed to be easy to get out of a marriage. What happens to the children? Stop thinking about yourself and what is best for all. Maybe people need to be willing to make sacrifices for others and learn to accept change. Good luck!

Answer 9

my parents were married in 1953, my sister in 1975, my brother in '77, another sister in 79, one in 1981 and the last brother was married in 91. i was married in 2004 at the age of 36. i don't know how insecure we all are. none of us lived with our spouses before marriage and we are all happy and still married. we haven't had a separation either. my nephew is getting married in september and he doesn't live with his girlfriend. is this marriage doomed?

when my mother passed in 2004 after 50 and a half years, it would have been really weird to hear my dad say his girlfriend died.

i think marriage is a great provision. perhaps those entering into it don't understand the full dedication it takes. it's hard to get out of, yes, too bad it isn't as hard to get into.

i'd almost forgotten..........my father in law got married in reno yesterday. and not for the big wedding and material possesions.

Answer 10

If you have kids, it's rather USEFUL to be married, if possible. It just gives the kids extra financial security and less pain in the a.ss trying to do simple things related to money and school and medical care.

It's also rather useful to be married even if you don't have kids so that you have someone you can trust who can take care of your property and money when you die, and someone who can take care of your funeral, and someone who can carry on and do things with your money that you wanted to be done (like donating). So all your money doesn't end up going to the ungrateful government.

Why do you think gays have been FIGHTING to get married - or at least legally blessed as couples? It's because *married couples receive all kinds of legal benefits*.

I don't plan to marry, either.

Answer 11

Not to many of you actually answered the question here. WHY?

My take on the situation is because women want it. I think a lot of women feel like they deserve to be married. I happen to hear a lot of complaints from women who have been in long relationships or long engagements. I think when faced with the threats of put a ring on my finger or Im leaving a lot of men do the former.

Also I feel like today in our cut throat world being married is kind of a pause button. People feel better knowing that they come home everyday and they have a husband or wife there waiting for them.

As far as the legal issues you bring up you can solve a lot of them with a prenuptual agreement. I dont think women are as insulted by them as typically as they are portreyed.