friend problems, please help i feel like crying?

Question

i have a friend...she has been mean to me for a long time. so im not really her friend but if we hang out we have fun i guess but if shes with other people she makes fun of like evryone xcept her 2 best friends which are like her only friends. her best friend is one of my great friends. she is really nice and always trys to make everythign better. but she always takes her best friends side no matter wat. so i told her i couldnt be friends with her best friend. and she was a good friend and stood up 4 her but she said i was causing drama and i think she told her best friend that i was really mad and everything im still not going to be friends with her best friend.but i want to be friends with her. please help me feel better and assure me shell still be my friend or sumthign i feel like crying

my "great" friend still wants to be my friend but shes upset and still takes her bff's side

Answer 1

1 answer...


BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA HER

Answer 2

I'm concerned that you believe these girls are your "best" and "good" and "great" friends when they're basically treating you unfairly over an issue you have every right to comment on and on a decision you had every right to make.

It's not fair that your "great" friend took the side of the less-nice "best" friend. Unless you can convince her that you have every right not to hang with someone who treats others badly or bad-mouths folks, but still believe you can make a friendship with her work, I think you might just lose this "great" friend. I mean, she obviously didn't get that you were upset, nor did she seem too concerned about your feelings since she quickly and absolutely took the side of the "best" friend who is so horrible to others. I mean, really, what does that say about your "great" friend, the one you're in anguish over? It says she doesn't have a mind of her own to realize that it's not fair or fun to be made fun of, that she doesn't really consider you as "great" a friend as she considers the "best" friend, and that if it came to choosing, she'd pick the mean "best" friend over you without a second thought.

Please try to befriend those who want to befriend you. Not everyone enjoys gossip or being plain mean to others. Nor does everyone want a friend who doesn't "have their back", so to speak. This girl you consider so nice and sweet doesn't have backbone enough to defend you to the other "best" friend, so how do you think she'd be in a situation more important in the scheme of things than this one?

It will be tough, but I'd consider letting the friendship go. Again, unless you can convince this "great" friend that you're the better way to go, then you're gonna have to settle for the fact that you win some (losing the horrible mean friend) and you lose some (losing the nice "great" friend).

Answer 3

Sometimes in friendships, people are mean. Generally it means that they have an underlying issue that is bothering them. Now, that's not an excuse to be mean...but it does explain part of why she might be acting like that. Being in the middle of a difficult friendship is difficult and can result in a lot of hurt feelings. Tell your friend that you enjoy her company, and appreciate her friendship. Explain why your feelings are getting hurt, and why you got angry. Don't make excuses, but help your friend to understand. Then listen to what she has to say. This doesn't mean that your friendship has to be over..it just will require both of you to talk it out and come to a bigger understanding of each other. Also, don't be afraid to cry a little. Sometimes that's just what you need to help clear your head. Everything will work out alright in the end, and you'll be grateful (hopefully) for what this experience will teach you about yourself! Good luck!

Answer 4

Dont worry about it. Drama never lasts very long. Give it some time, and everyone will forget about it. A real friendship wouldnt break all because of some silly drama. But I suggest you try to find some new friends anyway and try to get over this. Dont cry! Im sure it will be fine.

Answer 5

You're not obligated to be friends with anyone you don't want to. What I mean is, you're not necessarily going to click with every friend of a friend, and that's perfectly okay. (Right now there's probably someone out there who likes you but can't stand a friend of yours. It happens a lot.) Just maintain the friendships with the ones who treat you as a friend in return...let the other association fall by the wayside. It doesn't make either one of you bad people that your personalities don't connect...but it's pointless trying to force-fit a friendship just because someone else gets along with her well.

Answer 6

Baby girl, i know how it feels, i am 18years, i'm not really into this friend thing, do you know why? becos it just sucks.
1. when you have a friend, you expect them to treat you well, and cheer you up when you are down but its always the opposite
2. when you have a friend, and he/she knows you really like them, they'll want to frustrate the crap outta you since they know you really like them and there is nothing you can do.
trust me that your so called best friend knows exactly how you feel right now and she likes it cos' many friends are like fighting over the *****, comeon look for better friends, and stop being a cry baby, i know you might be emotional but don't let such raggamuffin get to you.
cheer up baby girl, i can be your friend if it will make you feel happy, at least for one chatting month till you find better friends, trust me you need to find a better friend than her.
cheers

Answer 7

ok you need to confront the mean girl upfront and say "you are not going to take her away from me!" You need to say that you have been mean to me all these years and i don't like you doing that to me. It really hurts my feelings. For your other friend that still wants to be your BFF you need to talk to her in private and ask why do you always take her side. You won't even ask ME how I feel about this whole situation. If you still want to be my BFF then why don't you. It's not up to her to decide. You can still be her BFF and mine also. Do that and email me and tell me how it goes

[e-mail]

you can do it all you have to do is stand up for yourself

Answer 8

if she was being mean to you, she wasn't your friend. Friends care about you and they aren't mean to u.