I'm feelin' a bit down :[?

Question

Hiya everyone =]
Well I'm a 16 year old girl and from N.Ireland :]
I have no self confidence and don't like the way I look.
I mean no wonder I haven't had a boyfriend before.
I am so so shy and I can't help this so yeah this doesn't help my social life either, and I feel like a loser.
I just wanna be happy altogether.
I feel like hardly anyone likes me =[
Well I dunno but maybe part of my low self confidence and being insecure is because of my family. I don't get to see my dad that much and I miss him and well it's hard to explain.
So yeah does anyone have any advice on how to overcome shyness, or just have self confidence.
I don't know why I'm feeling so down, i've been crying (yeah i know sad lol)
Well if you could leave some comments I wouldn't mind and I'd appreciate it.
Sorrry if I depress you guys.
:]

Answer 1

Sorry to hear you feel that way - being 16 is tough - hormones are playing up - GCSE's , caught between being grown up and still feeling young sometimes!


Look on the bright side - we have all been there and made it through.

I used to lack confidence , not like the way I looked and critisised myself , confused about friends and boyfriends and people used me all the time. I used to visit old ladies who lived alone and help with their shopping , housework and mostly make some tea and sit and chat to them which was fabulous - they were easy to talk to , they listened to what you had to say and cared what you thought and had some real words of wisdom.

My advice to you would be :

1. Learn to love yourself! There is good in everything and if you look honestly you will find what is nice about yourself and focus on those points rather than the bad ones.

2. Volenteer to work with the elderly , at a hospital or a home even once a week. You will learn to socialise , gain confidence and feel good about yourself

3. You have your whole life ahead of you , be free , enjoy and take time to experience life before you get weighed down in relationships and all the stresses in the world


4. Stop worrying about the things that are wrong and focus on the good stuff. You can't always fix things



It is normal to feel sad and even healthy to cry just don't try and be sad. Try and be happy - it is easier , more fun and makes you feel great

Hope that helps a little and here is a BIG *** HUG***

Answer 2

Hi Emma,,

Well Im Also A 16 Year Old Girl So I Put Myself In Your Shoes Now,,

If I Was You I Wouldnt Be Put Down By My Looks,,
U May Not Think It But Just Because You Havnt Had A Boyfriend Doesnt Mean That You Wont Get One,,

Im Sure In Time Youll Meet A Boy That Likes You For You,,
Not For Bein The Prettiest Girl Ever,,

You Should Try To Go Out More,,
Meet New People This Will Help You Gain Confidence,,

I Hardly See My Dad Much Either And I No Its Hard Bcuz I No How Much I Miss Him When Hes Not Around So I Know How Your Feelin,,
To Help Me I Just Think Of The Good Times Ive Spent With My Dad,,
It Usually Cheers Me Up And Makes Me Feel Better..

Hope Iv Helped X

Answer 3

1. You're not a loser
2. People do like you
3. It's ok to cry
4. Don't apologise for 'depressing' people!!

Especially the last point - if you don't talk about your problems, then you can't resolve them...problem shared is a problem halved as they say.

Everyone's gone through a stage like this. And it's never as bad as you think. There is always someone out there who cares for you! Focus on the friendships that you have, and focus on doing things that make you happy - a happy person attracts happy people.

The point you make about how you look is something you can address fairly easily...speak with your friends and family and ask them advice on what would suit you...buy a fashion mag to get an idea of the trends and pick out what would suit you...if you're talking about your body - what is it you don't like? one tip: I started doing martial arts - I got fit, made friends, learnt something useful and gained new skills - and the result was that I gained a whole lot of confidence. A class or something like this would get you out mingling with different people at the very least.

Is there anyone you can talk to about seeing your dad? Are there ways around this? Sounds like a complicated situation; but if you want to see him then no one should stop you.

PS* don't worry about the boys. Once you're happier in yourself then you'll attract the right kind of person. You need to focus on being happy being single! (and carefree!!) first of all.

Tell yourself what your good points are - focus on these and emphasise them. If you have nice eyes, wear some nice eye makeup. The outward appearance can have an effect inwardly...and vice versa!!

just keep smiling :-) things will look up soon.

Answer 4

I don't think anyone is truly confident - some people can just fake it better than others. Have a look at some websites for tips on how to appear more confident. The words you use, way you talk, how you hold yourself, etc, all effect how people perceive you.
The more you practise the better you'll get.
People like to be around fun and happy people. Sometime people judge shy people in the wrong way because they are quiet and don't have much to go on.
Smile, make you voice heard and try not to worry what others think of you - just be yourself.

Answer 5

Oh sweetheart I wish I could give you a big hug, do you know you are very special and beautiful, your so young and have all your life in front of you so no need to hurry or worry about things, you could pop to your local library and borrow some books on self confidence, they are a great source of help but you have to follow them through and stop putting yourself down all the time, you have to learn to love yourself first before you go out into the wide world and love others, once you achieve that you will find you have a spring in your step and can take the world on in one go, look in the mirror every single day and tell yourself how very special and beautiful you are, it may sound daft but it does work honestly, all the very best of luck to you and hope your life changes real soon.

Answer 6

well don't feel down about how you look i bet you look very pretty, get some mates and then get to know more and then more then that's sorted. If you want a boyfriend get mates who know some boys =) to be confident hang around with some people and make friends! it isn't that hard when you come to it. i know bout the dad thing i only see my dad once a fortnight don't worry some people don't even know their dads but at least u see him, right? don't cry! you will find better friends!!
you ain't depressing me i am happy to help you!
people don't like the way they look and that overcomes sooner or later
cheer up =)
Amy x

Answer 7

I have walked in your shoes*. I know what and where you are coming from*.. The way to build self confidence and overcome shyness is to pretend to act confident and not shy*.. In no time at all by you acting confident and not shy, you will become confident and not shy*. In other words practice being confident and not shy and you will become confident and not shy*.. That is how I conquered my lack of confidence and shyness*.. Do the thing you fear the most*.. Practice, Practice, Practice*.. If I could do it , you can do it*...I like you*..

Answer 8

i'm going thru the same thing right now...i feel no one likes me and i feel like i'm a loser, cuz i can never do anything right at all. Yea, i've been crying more than usual too. Don't worry, you're not alone ^_^. Just talk to someone you can really confide in. Don't forget to keep on smiling, you never know who'll fall in love with it!

Answer 9

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Generalized anxiety disorder includes persistent and unnecessary worries about everyday, common events or activities, which can disrupt concentration and lead to other issues, such as depression.

Answer 10

hi baby no just how u are filling, just be your selth go out be with your friends don't sit in moping laughed don't cry do the things you like doing and everything will turn out ok don't look for boys they do the looking when they see how Happy you are they will won't to be with you have fun and remember we have all been their good Luke