We get along OK now. 5 yrs. ago when we divorced he was very bitter for a while and occasionally still gets a little snotty with me from time to time. which impacts our sensitive daughter. I have tried very hard to be polite and keep peace for her sake and he is a decent person. Things have been quite peaceful lately. I dread telling him of my re-marriage as I fear he will start being a jerk to me again. Should I write him a letter, tell him in person or tell him over the phone? Although he is in a relationship he seems to still harbor some feelings for me apparent in some of the tasteful compliments he occasionally gives of which I simply say "thank you" It will be wierd no matter what as it is forced closure for him . How can I handle this ever so tactfully? Just want to keep the peace for my daughter's sake.
Thanks
Ms. Just Want To Move On
2007-08-22 09:15:02 · 15 answers · asked by verypolish1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him during a visitation swap- i.e. when he is dropping your daughter off or something. Once she goes into the house just tell her that you will be inside in a few minutes that you have to talk to her Dad for a minute. Say:
"Hey I just want to talk to you about something for a minute. I thought it would be best if you heard this through me first rather than through the rumor mill- I am getting married to (insert fiance's name here) on (date) or we are planning to be married (whenever- next spring, etc.)."
Then later you may want to offer to have all three of you sit down so that you can all be on the same page as far as parenting and step parenting is concerned.
Good Luck. My husband had to tell his ex that we were getting married and she handled it pretty well.
2007-08-22 09:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I just did this. I told him nothing, I talk to him where my daughter is concerned only. My personal life is none of his business. Who I marry , when I marry then, where none of that is his concern. His only concern is his child. Don't tell him anything. I didn't until he called one day and said Can I pic up Tee on Friday, I said well for what, I kinda have plans. We are going to get married and she wants to be there. Can you get her on the 19th when we get back. OK , TTYL. Bye. The END. He is not entitled to knowing about my plans. He lost those rights when we divorced. So You don't have to say a WORD. But if you want to Then just find a way to work it into another conversation you guys have about her. Oh you want to pic up (____) Well let me see Getting married on the 3rd you want her on the 9th yea that should work See you then.
You are worrying too much about nothing. If he does still care then that is his problem not yours. He can turn into a A s S when he wants stop trying to please him I learned that the hard way. Deal with him concerning interests of your daughter only.
Good Luck and Congrats.
2007-08-22 09:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by Xplicit Parties *KIKI* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it is a cat and mouse sport. Usually, so much of them DON'T final lengthy on the grounds that of the motives they acquired married. Let the honeymoon segment put on off and it's going to go away them pondering, looking to recollect "What did I do that for?"
2016-09-05 10:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I have this right: You have been divorced for 5 years and are concerned about telling your ex about your wedding plans.
Why?
I know you mentioned his attitude, but you are divorced! You don't owe him the time of day. And you say he is in a relationship! Did he call you to tell you he was getting serious with someone? I bet not! Your closing statement says it, go ahead with YOUR life.
Get married and let him find out by himself.
2007-08-22 09:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him in person - you will be able to tell right off if there is going to be a problem by his expression and vocal tone.
What you will want to express to him is that you are getting married, but you have no intention of replacing him as your daughter's father - make sure he knows he isn't going to be shut out.
2007-08-22 09:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its been 5 years you don't have to inform him of anything. But if you do then I would just talk to him and tell him. After 5 years if he still gives you problems then he needs help and you can continue on with your life. You owe him no explanation of anything you do in your life if it doesn't involve your daughter.
2007-08-22 09:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. He's in a relationship, he'll understand and if not, let him know that u just want 2 stay friends 4 ur daughters sake and want the transition 2 b easy 4 her.
2007-08-22 09:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think the best thing to do is to tell him in person. I wouldn't act overly excited in front of him, it might look like you are trying to rub it in. Just simply tell him that you and So-N-So have decided to get married and that you wanted him to hear it from you first. If he starts to act like a jerk, then it's just a reminder of why you divorced him in the first place.
2007-08-22 09:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him. Next time you see him. Tell him you wanted him to hear it from you personally and just tell him. Yeah, things might go sour again for awhile but hopefully, having a relationship will keep him calmer than you'd expect.
2007-08-22 09:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did send him an invite .
If he's a jerk he's a jerk not much you can do about it , what are you gunna do call off the wedding and stay single and let him to continue to own you?
2007-08-22 12:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋