How to deal with this type of friend?

Question

I've been friends with this girl for about 14 years. However, when we have any type of disagreements, she has always turned the situation on me regardless it being her fault or mine. Pretty much she is the type of person who feels she is never wrong, etc. She is also very confrontational and I almost feel like I have to walk on eggshells with her. So the way I deal with her is not communicate with her on a daily basis and sometimes we don't even speak because she is so out-spoken about everything and I almost feel that she never lets the past go and always has something to throw in my face. Any way, has anyone had any childhood friends that they have discontinued their friendship with because of similiar circumstances? I hate to throw away a friendship, but I feel as we gotten older that we are also growing apart and no longer have things in common. Any stories to share? Should I just cut the friendship off seeing there really isn't a friendship anymore?

I have attempted to email her to make some peace, but then she writes back with personal attacks.

Is it possible to grow apart from a friend? I guess that is my real question. I don't feel comfortable in her presence and also she tends to be very judgemental.

Is it possible to grow apart from a friend? I guess that is my real question. I don't feel comfortable in her presence and also she tends to be very judgemental.

Answer 1

I have been friends with these girls for about 10 years....We did everything together....I mean inseperable....Then I got a boyfriend and things started to change.....I mean granted I probably wasnt the sme person, but any friend would have unserstood that things change once one of us started dating.....Well anyways I invited them to a halloween party and they invited another group of friends.....Well to get the point we never made it to the party and they started blaming me for "poor" plannning even though it was my ex fault. I tried to explain to them what happened and all they wanted to do was blame me. I got so hurt and frustrated I just let it go, and hoped for the best in the morning. Well a couple of minutes later they call me back and start cursing me out and saying that I am a bad friend and all that. Well lets just they chose to stop being my friend. to this day we still are not friends, but I know that they feel bad for treating me wrong, I just cant be friends with them again, it will never be the same. There are other contributing factors to why we cant be friends.....hope this helps....Just look into yourself and see if the friendship could last.....if not move on

Answer 2

fortunately for me i figured it out after a year and a half of knowing the girl.
she sounds exactly like who you are describng.


here's an example of how she cannot let go of the past: she and her best friends from highschool parted ways FOUR YEARS ago. whenever she brings the girl up, she recounts in details the events that led up to the termination of the friendship. it was of course the other girl's fault. she also claims the girl stopped talking to her over one innocent "common knowledge" comment she made. clearly my ex-friend doesnt see the whole picture: that that comment was probably just the final straw that broke the camels back and that her attitude was probably the problem .she names thigns the other girl did to offend her that aren't that bad. to me she has no case against the girl, but she still talked about it as if it occurred the day before and as if she was the innocent victim.
i bet she says similar things of me right now. I KNOW she probably does.

whatever, the price of ending that friendship is worth it.


im glad i didnt know her my whole life. i feel bad for u
that sucks!
i say dump that friend.
lose contact with her....

Answer 3

You don't have to keep toxic people in your life just because you've known them for a long time.
I have had several friends over the years that just make me feel bad about myself when I'm around them or they're flat out mean most of the time. I honestly just stopped communicating with them.
One of them sent me an email a year and a half after I stopped communicating and said something like he had a dream about me and thought we should be friends again and what's going on with my life etc. and I really considered responding but I knew any response from me at all would open that door up again and I was done feeling the way he made me feel so I didn't respond at all and I haven't heard from him in several years. I don't miss him AT ALL.

Answer 4

Some friends do grow apart no matter how long they've known each other. People just grow up differently and feel that they need to be this and that way just to make them feel better about themselves or for other people. I'm sorry that your losing a friend. One of my friends, known him for over 18 years, I consider him as a brother, we're pretty much exactly the same in everything.

You should at least try and talk it over with your friend before finally saying goodbye to her for good.

Answer 5

perhaps you could tell your friend just what you said here... "as we have gotten older we are also growing apart.... and you feel she isn't behaving as a friend, but an adversary, who is always at fault"... or something similar.

she needs to know the truth. perhaps she is defensive for some reasons relative to her past, but she needs to stop and change this... if she hears you say it, she might at least, try to change.

you have to decide what is best for you -- whether the relationship is too stressful to cope with. hugs

Answer 6

Ugh. i think undesirable for the two you and your pal. i think of you're being somewhat over-intense and somewhat harsh. you could desire to keep in mind that she has very deep thoughts, basically such as you and that in the process lots of circumstances she does ingredient (extraordinarily at your age) that even she does not understand why. Your pal in all hazard has some shallowness subject concerns and is attempting to compensate by using boasting, mendacity, and over-exagerating. in spite of the shown fact that, whilst somebody copies you they say that's the utmost kind of flattery so which you should objective to a minimum of examine out that ingredient of it. whilst i replaced into in Jr. intense and intense college I chanced on alot of human beings like the two you and your pal and the only thank you to truly settle that's to objective to work out her ingredient of it, attempt to think of approximately why she would desire to be doing the failings she is doing. regardless of in case you won't be able to determine her out, attempt your superb to assist her sense look after and assured and at last she will start to act extra easily and nicer. in case you nevertheless won't be able to deal after a multitude of time of truly attempting with compassion and not judgement, then I say wreck ties- basically tell her you won't be able to be friends with somebody whom you do no longer sense you could have confidence. sturdy success and that i do desire you and your pal could make up and be chuffed.

Answer 7

Unfortunately I can speak with the other side's view. She may not realise she's being like that, and gets offended at people being light as if she'll bite every two minutes. Have you told her she's like this?

Answer 8

She isn't the right person to call a friend then. Friendship is far more better and sweeter than that.