Thinking back over the past year,i ignored the signs that my wife may be in contact with another man.She asked for a divorce this past April.She said it just wasn't working out. I asked her for the truth and she swore on a bible in front of me there was no one else.Last week i found out she has reconected with a man from 20 years ago.He moved her to his city,rented her a town house for her to live in.Problem is that he is married and has 8 kids.His wife left him around the time i started being suspicious about her behaivior.All the subtle clues she gave me know make sense.I have spoken to this guys wife and she says my wife and her husband had been texting up to ten times a day going back some 10 months.While i was still married.His wife didn't know he was paying all her expenses.I guess i blew the cover on that secret...All i ever asked of my wife was the truth,she couldn't do it.How can she live with herself,does she have no shame or guilt about what she is doing,to me.Makes me sick.
2007-08-22 08:27:08 · 28 answers · asked by Rodger M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't worry. Her bad karma will come back to slap her upside her head soon enough! And don't be the one leaving the door unlocked when she hits rock bottom! She didn't just cheat. She lied, slept with a married man who had eight children to feed. Both their morals are in the toilet! You get out there and be on your search for a sweet, honest, and hot woman! And while your'e looking, have some fun. I know your hurt and depressed, but just a couple good dates will have you in the game!
2007-08-22 08:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by zen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're always better off knowing the truth. Even if you found out after the fact, at least it will teach you to become more cautious and observant with the next person you may possibly become involved with instead of being so caught up in the one-sided love that you don't see what's actually going on. Believe me, I know. I've been in your position of betrayal and it will take a long time to heal.
2007-08-22 15:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry for what your wife has done to you, is difficult to bealive that in this world there are actually so many people that care zero about the feelings of others. I have gonne trogh the same thing with my ex houseband and bealive me, even if you feel sick, nothing is going to change. She is not going to give you a worthy answer to why she did like that. Any way, bealive me, she isn't going to live all the time floating on pink clouds. The man has 8 children, with time she'll see that life isn't so wonderful besides the man she has choosen.
When it comes to you, I think that you better continue with your life. She has proved to you she isn't worthy of your love and care. I know that is difficult for you to take this to your heart, but you will find a better person out there. Now it feels like thw world has gonne under but you'll see that things are going to be better one day. Is sad that the love is so short but to forget it take long time. But at last you doit, you forget and rise again, and thats what make people strong. Good luck to you. (From one who survived)
2007-08-22 15:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by M. V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's possible she does have shame, guilt, doubts, you name it. Why assume that she doesn't? She's human like all of us. In fact, I bet she didn't tell you "the truth" precisely because she felt ashamed and guilty. But what is "the truth" going to change for you? She doesn't want to be with you; it is unfortunate, but both of you have made your choices, and her choices pushed her away from you. Ruminating over the past won't do either of you any good. Right now, it is irrelevant what went on in the past; what matters is how you're going to handle the situation you're in, and how you're going to go on from here.
What you describe is probably pretty typical of this situation. When my ex-husband got up and walked away from our marriage one day, he too said there was no one else, although there absolutely was another woman (as I found out soon after). I know he felt guilty; he since apologized to me countless times, and I have no reason to doubt his sincerity. But it really didn't matter at the end; I had to leave the past in the past, and build a new future for myself - which made the past essentially irrelevant. Focus on the future. Good luck.
2007-08-22 15:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably hurts more now that you know the truth but yes I think you are better off. If you never found out about her infidelity you might have always wondered what went wrong, what you could have done, that type of thing. Now that you know the truth about the type of woman that she is it will probably be easier for you to move on with your life and put this chapter behind you.
One of my favorite sayings is "what is done in the dark will always come to light." Be glad that some light was shed on this situation for you. I'm sure that eventually you will find someone who will treat you and the institution of marriage with much more love and respect.
2007-08-22 15:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by pureofheart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My God yes. The truth is the truth. It's what is. Now you can operate out of the truth, not lies. Now you can LIVE in the truth, not deceptions. Otherwise, you are "living a lie." Now you can make decisions that are best for you. You can now DO FOR YOU. And now it's time to move on, rather than live in the torture of constantly not knowing for sure. That will take years off your life. The bible says it best, "The truth will set you free." And now, although it hurts, you CAN be free. Physically and mentally free. It's time to start a new life FOR YOU. For you to find what you deserve. The truth here, while painful, is your best friend. Embrace THAT it is, not necessarily WHAT it is. Consider it a key to your freedom. I wish you all the best my friend.
2007-08-22 15:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by SoCalAgency 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lie is like a snowball, it just keep getting bigger and bigger.
now the question is what are you going to. Feel pity for her or sick? Meaning if the guy kick her out on the street right now and she doesn't want to come back to you, would that make you feel better?
Love is a two people thing. Same goes for marriage. think back did you did everything you are suppose to? Did you at some point hurt her as well? Why she did what she did must have purpuse.
2007-08-22 15:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sucks, real sorry to hear this. At this point and time she feels no guilt or shame, right now she's living in a fantasy and she is clueless to the fact that there will be consequences for her behavior. I know this is a tragedy that has shaken your life up, but at least you seen the truth of her and what she really is. It's up to you now to see how you come through this. You need to kick this situation in the butt instead of letting it kick yours. Wish you the best
2007-08-22 16:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Phil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey it hurts now but it's best to get over it than to live a lie, which is how you were living don't you think? You are looking at it the wrong way, don't look at what you lost coz that wasn't worth having it was a lie focus on your future and your new life let them see how much better you are without her sneaking behind your back, your young free and single...how do i know ? Coz your never too old for new love.
2007-08-22 15:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither has a conscience or this wouldn't have happened. It's always better to know the truth, glad his wife found out too, now you can both make better choices for yourselves and heal from this.
You're both better off without these two selfish people.
2007-08-22 15:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋