Best friend who I think wants to steal my spotlight and identity?

Question

Okay, I have this friend who seems to want to do everything I do. As an example, I play guitar. I've played for a couple months and really enjoy it. It's really the only talent I have and I love it. It's basically my life from now on and I know I want to be a musician. But then, I thought it'd be alright if I taught her the opening to "Smoke On The Water". Easy? Yes. It's only 4 different notes and she picked up, slowly, but she got it. Now, she says she "loves the guitar". She also tells other people that she "plays guitar" although she doesn't own one and only knows the intro to 1 song. It's been 2 months since I taught her and now, shes going out with her father to buy one. I play more than her and it's my life. She plays for leisure and I believe that she only wants ot be popular at school. And, I love rock music and make songs. Weird how she loves that now huh? Is it just me or does she want to steal my spotlight? How can I tell her it bothers me without hurting her feelings?

She's my best friend whom I've known for most of my life. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I don't want her stripping me of my passion.

Okay people, read the entire question, no one is helping.

Answer 1

WATCH "SINGLE WHITE FEMALE" its a movie and this is what is going to happen

Answer 2

Why would you think she's trying to steal your spotlight? Mimicry is the best form of flattery. She wants to be like you. So she plays for leisure, so what, does she do anything else? Or is that the only thing she knows how to do now? You should be proud that you got someone to like your instrument of choice or to like music at all. Not many people can say that they did that.
So she wants to learn to play the guitar, let her have that, maybe that will open up more things/opportunities for her. You should be supportive of her, and it might even give you someone to play guitar with.
I personally think you're being selfish in not supporting her as a true friend would.
I'm an artist, but everytime someone picks up a pencil and starts drawing, because they like my artwork and want to learn; I don't get upset or mad, I'm proud that my artwork makes people want to start drawing. I help them, I give them the information that I got and help them anyway I can. Some of them continue drawing, some don't.

We have read your question. You just refuse to see the answers. She is not robbing you of your passion. Maybe you're not the friend you pretend to be. If you truly love music, and you truly care about your friend, you would be willing to share no matter what. She wants to share your passion with you.

If you see it as stealing your passion and your spotlight, maybe you are the one whose doing it to be popular, not her.

Answer 3

there is something you apparently do not see here -- your friend ADMIRES YOU and probably thinks you're just great... she might very well be interested in the guitar, and since you are friends, this would give you both more in common....

and perhaps she really IS interested in the guitar?

i wonder, what "spotlight" are do you refer to in this question?

your friend might also feel left out and not that important, so she tells her friends she plays guitar... sometimes people just want to "fit in". she might feel insecure, as well.

i think it's nice when we can influence our friends to become interested in something productive... and you have done just that. you never know what the two of you will accomplish in the future, and playing the guitar might lead to bigger, better things for each of you.

instead of thinking she is stealing some spotlight, can't you get together and help each other with lessons and ideas?

i am a watercolor artist, and while i do it for "leasure" everyone is after me to sell my work -- and i look at my artwork and realize it's just as good, if not better than many "professional" artists.

hope you enjoy and do very well in persuit of your talent. take care.

Answer 4

looks like you are jealous!! If you want to be a musician, you should understand by now that you are not going to be the only one in the world that plays an instrument, or that writes songs, or that likes rock music. There is going to be thousands of girls out there just like you. So it does not depend on your friend to "steal" the spotlight from you, if you are good like you say you are going to stand out anyways. Don't hurt your friends feelings, maybe you can end up doing a "duet" eventually.

Answer 5

How does her taking up guitar strip you of your passion? If she wants to play guitar, you should encourage her, being she's been your lifelong friend. Maybe she wants to play with you. You don't get to tell her it bothers you that she's taking it up as well, because it's her life, and she can play whatever instrument she wants, which happens to be guitar. That would be like me being upset because a friend took up violin. I took it up in school, and wouldn't have cared either way if a friend took it up as well.

You say no one is helping here, but what I think is really going on is you don't like what anyone has to say, and were hoping we'd say,"Yeah, she's a total brat. Tell her to stop being fake". Instead, we are saying she can play guitar if she wants, and she probably looks up to you and wants to play with you, so be an ENCOURAGEMENT, not at DISCOURAGEMENT. True musicians don't get jealous or fear others stripping them of their passion. True musicians encourage others in their music.

If you tell her anything, except for "I'm glad you took up guitar, maybe we can play together", you WILL lose that lifelong friendship. Is that something you really want to risk?

I think one of the highest compliments a musician can get is when they teach someone a few notes, an instrument, whatever, and that someone excels even better than the teacher does at it.

You mentioned something about your friend playing for leisure, and you play because it's your life now. Actually, since you aren't making money off of your music(after only playing a couple of months), you are playing for leisure as well. You're not making money off of your songs yet.

Answer 6

How is that "stripping you of your passion"? Yeah, it's pretty fake and annoying, but her deciding she wants to play doesn't suddenly make your abilities invalid. It sounds to me like you do it partly because you like it, but partly also because you are "cool" if you play guitar. Her trying to "steal the spotlight" tells us that you are not entirely in it for the music. If you were, you wouldn't care so much about what she's doing. I recommend leaving the petty high school rivalry alone, and just do music because you enjoy it. It's much cooler to do something because you love it. When you focus more on the activity and why it makes you happy, then posers aren't an issue.

Answer 7

well, i wouldn't exactly say she is trying to steal your spotlight.
she probably just really likes you & wants to like things you like too.
i understand how that would be really annoying & frusterating though.
it will be hard to tell her how you feel without hurting her feelings because even though she may be copying you she'd more & like deny it & get defensive.
so just ask her why she is all of a sudden so interest in rock music & the guitar with suggesting that she is copying you.
hopefully she'll get the idea though.
maybe she truely loves both those things [she just never really tried them before you did though].
& if that is so, you guys can play together!
& immitation is a form of flattery!

i hope things work out!

Answer 8

You will always have friends like this or enemys that somehow steal everything from you. Its going to happen your whole life. Some people are not leaders, they are followers and need some sort of direction to help them along the way. This is probably only temporary. If you say something to her, you might lose her. Its up to you.

I just recently lost my side job to one of my x friends from highschool. She and i were the best of friends but she always wanted everything I had. In high school we had a big blow out and never talked again. She then liked my side job and decided she was going to try and take it from me. Well she did. I didnt get too upset over it cause I know thats how she is. But these kinda things do go away. It will happen through-out your whole life

Answer 9

OK - playing the guitar for a "couple of months" doesn't mean you're a musician. It's OK if other people want to play the guitar as well, she has a right to love it as much as you do. I'm sorry if I sound mean - I don't mean to.

Besides - that's what being young is all about; trying to find out who you are. If she doesn't try new things she would be a boring person.

Answer 10

This does seem a bit annoying. She might actually like music and want to play the guitar. Don't judge her too harshly just yet. If she starts copying other things (you'll know when it starts to happen), take her aside and discuss with her that its starting to worry you. Its always better to be an individual anyways. However, imitation is the highest form of flattery... :-)

Answer 11

If she is a true friend, you telling her the truth shouldn't be any big deal. If you don't tell her, then that's just not right because then your not being honest. and she says she plays the guitar, which she does because she knows how to play some notes and the intro of a song. i barely play the saxaphone, but i love it. i think your friend is only copying you because she looks up to you. if she wanted to steal your spotlight, she wouldnt really talk to you anymore. she has the right to love whatever she wants, so if i were u, just tell her it bugs you, but she has the right to love it, so if she could, not bring it up in every conversation.