just needing to speak to someone?

Question

I just needed someone to talk to. I have a lot of financial problems right now and I feel like I am alone. My husband works and is away for a month at a time, so I am pretty much on my own with my two children. I am about to lose my home and if it weren't for me being afraid of leaving my children (who are the absolute world to me) I would say I would want to end it all. I am scared all the time, so much that I am giving myself chest pains. I feel like I can't trouble my family as they have their own lifes. But I just needed to see if there is anyone out there that has gone through anything similar and if you can ever rebuild your life. I had a really bad couple of years (deaths, unemployment, etc.). Does life ever stop teaching you lessons, because I almost feel like I am being punished for something. I just don't want to disappoint my family, and I feel that is exactly what I am doing. Well thanks to anyone who will listen. This life really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

my husband works out of state for months at a time.I know how lonely it can get I have a 9yr old at home and a 25yr old married with a 3yr old. Iam a stay at home mom and people tell me, my daughter is the sweets person and what a job I have done. we struggle some months and get by on the others.my daughter has had bad times too,and if it was for us talking everyday we would lose it. So try to talk to your family everybody has trouble in there life so don't feel like you bothering them.And with my husbands job it pays the bills and make are love stronger .hang in there thing will always get better if you fight for it.

Answer 2

My dear, you need to talk to someone about your financial problems. This is difficult, I know. You don't want to disappoint your family, you say, but you can't avoid it and you do need their support, advice and sympathy. Your husband is the first person to talk to, of course, but I sense you are not doing that and you aren't mentioning the reason. Being away for a month at a time is not a reason for him to be 'out of the loop'; husband and wife are a team. That is marriage.
The most natural place to speak to someone is in a therapist's office since you need someone to help you 'sort it all out' and see that there is a way to go forward and organize your life and your finances.
When you say you are about to lose your home, do you mean it is not your husband's home too? What does he think about that?
You need to confide in a friend, family, your husband; all of these - there can't be a reason for you to feel so alone unless you are somehow trying to isolate yourself to put up a brave front. That is what a therapist is for. At least with a professional counselor, there is no need for a brave front. They have seen it all. They are not your neighbor or the Joneses to keep up!
If you are a church-goer, you can talk to your pastor. It's called pastoral counseling; simply tell him you need to speak to him confidentially. He can direct you to the counseling you need and give you some advice or comfort in the meantime.
People do go through this and they do rebuild their lives. You aren't the only person who has faced financial challenges. But you can't face it isolated and alone with your children and no confidante or advisor. Really, your husband should be right there with you, by e-mail, phone or letter.
I have had those really bad years too so I know the feeling that somehow you are being punished. It's not being punished, it's being tested. The test is: can you reach out and ask for someone to jump onto your little island with you and share the place you are?
I hope so much that you will see that this period of your life is a temporary trial and you can make it through. But you need to share this. Therapists will see you and charge you on a sliding scale.

Answer 3

Life will never stop teaching you lessons, but they are not all bad lessons. Does your husband share in the financial responsibilities of running a household. If so, then he should be sharing the load. Do you both work? If you don't, then maybe you can relieve some of the financial strain by getting a job. If you have car payments and a mortgage, call those lenders, explain your situation and ask them for some help. Lenders do not want you to lose your home or your car and often times know of programs you can apply for to get some help or a reduction in your monthly bill. Families are supposed to be there for each other in times of need. Talk to your family. They may not be able to financially, but they may know of someone who can. Swallow your pride, dear. You may even want to speak with someone about declaring backruptcy if you think you simply cannot get back on top of things. Theer are many different types of bankruptcy, so it doesn't mean you're still going to lose your house. And don't even think about killing yourself. That is not an option, ever. Things will get better, but sometimes you do have to crawl through a lot of crap to get to that point. Just keep crawling!

Answer 4

Take a deep breath, does he know about this problem? I mean being a lone like that did you get carried away and not tell him? your husband, sorry. Life takes unexpected twists and turns, but we all get through them, you need to relax before you give yourself a heart attack, that would be no good for your children, or your financial situation. I don't have this kind of problem right now but I have been there, and the only way to figure it out is to talk to your husband and have him think of some solutions with you, you can't do this alone.
It would be more shocking to come home to no home!
The best to you and your family, I hope you find an answer.

Answer 5

i know exactly how you feel. i am going through this now i was worse a year ago and i can say it has been getting better now. and the best thing i can tell you to do is the same thing i have been doing and that's is just thinking positive and reaching for bigger and better goals. i know it sounds like its to good to be true and what not and well its not i use to think and feel the same way you do now and it was hard to change and see things differently but that's where life starts is when you can see things differently and you put yourself out there to do more and make more money it will be a struggle but it worth the ride. also you should get this book or watch the movie called " the secret" that will help you with your new life and how to see things differently. i watched that 3 times and it never gets old its very very helpful. well i hope i was able to help, good luck with everything and think positive. if you ever need someone to talk you can always write me i know you don't know me but talking to people also helps you get through life as well and if you have no one else to talk to I'll be more than willing to talk with you.

Answer 6

Hon, that is what family is there for is to lean on. If you can't go to your family or his family for help and guidance, try the women's resource center, or church organizations, food pantries, any place that can give assistance. See if your family or friends can babysit & you can possible get a job if you don't already have one. What does your husband do that he is away for so long of periods? You need to tell him how things are at home. Have a garage sale & sell things you don't really need. If people own you start calling in some favors. You are fighting for your family & yourself. Do babysitting on the side for extra cash. How old are you kids? Maybe they can mow yards, or rake yards, help some elder person with household chores for money. Can they do dog walking? maybe there are people that are so busy that they don't have the time to walk their pets.
I hope any of this was a help to you.. But you hang in there because you are a daughter, wife, mother, & friend & there are people who love you & will stand beside you no matter what...lean on us, let us be the shoulder you need....

Answer 7

You need to stop being depressed and start being actively involved in getting your self out of this hole. Make some phone calls or go online and check into some debt relief agency's. Face your creditors and try to make some arrangement to keep your head above water. Most of them will work with the people that are honestly facing and trying to resolve their situation, not just sticking their head in the sand and avoiding them. Don't just sit there and let everything cave in on you. Not everything is going to work out the way you want it to, but any improvement you can make to your situation will keep it from getting worse. Find someone with a good head on their shoulders to confide in, you wont feel so alone. Your not being punished for anything, your being given an opportunity to be a stronger person and learn to deal with obstacles and improve your family's life. Best of luck.

Answer 8

You know I have been through shitty times in my life too. Like when my husband was working graveyard shifts, I never got to spend time with him because he would be sleeping during the day and wake up give me a kiss goodbye and be gone all night and I felt lie there wasnt a real relationship between us. Honey I will pray for you that everything in your life gets better cause that is all it takes. you may not be religious and you may but that doesnt matter you need to do soething good for yourself and tell yourself everything will be okay and it will. I was on the streets and doing drugs in the past and I would just pray every morning and night and it worked today because I am with a good man who I see everyday and we still pray and go to church today. Life is tough sometimes and everybody has that problem in theikr life too cause nobody is perfect even though people hide their feelings and say"I dont have problems like you do", or" My life is perfect just the way it is". Cause its not and nobodys life is perfect. But if you need to talk to anyone you can talk to me cause you could get all the support you can get. Good luck sweety!

Answer 9

dont say life sucks it just that you are going thru something that you cant seem to find a soloution to at the moment. there are many places that do bill consolidation and the best way to find one is to call your bank ( you dont have to give them your name) and ask them for advise. people get into these problems more than you know and it all works out for them. what you need to do first is take a hour when the children are at school, napping or asleep and this may take you a few days but get it all togeather and sit down and see how much debt you are truly in. it sounds harsh and you will be overwelmed but when you face the truth you begin to see a light to help your self out of tunnel. make a plan of what you would need to do but the first phone call will be your hardest so remember that. but to get on the path of recovery you need to do this and once you talk to someone you will see that things are workable and are not as bad as you have imagined. im telling you that this is how it is going to be, let me know . im keeping you in my prayers and God will see you throug this. you are never a disapointment. you will be disapointing yourself if you dont do this.
kimberly

Answer 10

I could honestly say that I have been to hell and back. I went through so much that I became very depressed and didnt care what would happen to me. I felt so lost and confused that I didnt know how to live my life. I completely gave up on everything and everyone. I wanted to dig a hole and dive in. So many times I wondered what it would be like if I wasnt here. I even gave up on god and im catholic. I felt that I was being punished and I couldnt figure out why. I thought life was unfair.
I want to tell you something though, it isnt over. You may think that it is, but it isnt. Like I said I went through hell, but right now, my life is completely turned around. I have a wonderful new husband, traveling, and just happy with life.
I had to make a choice as to what I really wanted. I wanted to live and be happy. I knew it wasnt going to be easy and for someone that never asks for help that was even harder. I had to swallow what little pride I had and ask for help. That meant I needed to be honest with my family and best friends. I needed as much support as i could get. Believe me, family and friends, dont want to see you hurting. They want to support you and want whats best for you. When I saw how much support I was getting, it was overwhelming.
You have two children and you say they mean the world to you. They are depending on you. So what, if things dont go the way we hope they would. We are human, things happen. I even went to see a phsycologist. Do it for your kids...If you give up then you are giving up on them. They look up to you and need you. Take it one day at a time...The chest pains are from stress, I got it right before I started having anxiety attacks...I thank god that I made the right decision, to live...YOU CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN, IT IS POSSIBLE!!!! Be strong...dont give up!!!!
If you want to chat through e-mail, let me know...