If you are a guy, have you dated single mothers? Was the experience good and did you see a future or was it just too much work? In your opininon would you continue to date single moms or rather go after someone without kids? Did you notice that the kids were spoiled because they were the momma's whole world? Did you notice that the single mom's parents were always in your life? I'm not making a judgement on single mom's just want some people's experiences with it. I've experienced some of these and have met a lot of great single moms, others i have horror stories.
2007-08-22 07:53:07 · 14 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its just like dating any other woman. Some single mothers are wonderful, some are horror stories waiting to happen. Some kids being raised by single mothers are well mannered and independant and some are spoiled rotten heathens. Some women have their parents involved so heavily in their lives that they can't make a single decision on their own and some are totally independant of family influence.
I was a single mother when I met my current husband. Well, I was technically still married, but I was seperated and not living with my husband. We were just waiting for the money to file for divorce. I had two kids, ages 6 and 1 at the time.
I introduced my new boyfriend to the kids after we had been dating for almost 3 months. They got along because my kids were trained to be polite and respectful to adults and are generally pretty laid back by nature. Things went well and I got my divorce and married my boyfriend. We have been together for 7 years and have a child together.
We spent some time with the kids, some time alone at night when the kids were sleeping and some time alone together when the kids were with Grandma. It was pretty fairly balanced so that we could know each other as a couple and see how we would fit as a family.
He did get some grief from my oldest daughter when he tried parenting her. You know, the typical "You're not my Dad!". After a year or so, she calmed down quite a bit and now she is closer to my husband than to her bio father and sometimes me. He's who the girls cry for when he is at work and they get hurt or when he's away working and they are scared at night. My youngest was still a baby, so she doesn't remember a time when I was with her father and to her, my husband has always been there.
Dating a woman who already has kids can be a lot of work and responsibility, but it can also be very rewarding.
2007-08-22 08:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have dated two single moms (both divorced) and although they were both great women I felt it was too much baggage in the end. There was too much drama with the child's father always being around, dealing with his family, and the kids always come first (as they should) so you will frequently get put aside at any time. These things make it very difficult to build the foundation for a healthy relationship. I would be open to dating a single mother again but only if she was widowed and she was financially stable enough to have a sitter frequently.
2015-08-21 07:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simply put, you are going to have to judge for yourself. Every relationship is different because everyone is different. Your experiences will vary from everyone elses. My boyfriend dated me (single mom), starting when he was 25. He is almost 8 years younger than me and for him it was a little difficult at first because of feeling he missed out on some of the attention (time). But he loved who I am and wanted to be with me and he is a great man to my son. My son loves him very much and they have a great relationship. So, you could gain more than the love of one person, which can be a great feeling. When I was 21 I dated a man who was 10 years older than me and had two daughters. I myself at the time didn't want to deal with sharing his time so I stopped the relationship after 3 months. Looking at it now, being 38, I may do it different. I think age may make a difference. But to say what kind of experience you'll have, only you can find out if you take the chance, just like any relationship with or without kids. And any relationship takes work, they need nurishment to thrive. Good luck!
2007-08-22 08:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by just2letuknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother or not - you are dating a woman - PLEASE do not define her simply because hse has children, but rather look at it from a "what you want for your own future". Insist from yourself that you have enough respect for people in general not to "rule out" a woman simply because the challenges of her being a "package" are there. Don't read too far into a future that has not presented itself - and at the same time be honest upfront with a single mother that your interest in her is sincere & that BECAUSE she has children, you have questions of her & of yourself so moving from dating to relationship will require honest communication.
Yes there are women out there who see a wonderful man and because they have children figure the man would not be interested because of it - what she doesn't realize is that - ITS OK! Yes there are those woman out there - your horrer stories - that give most single mothers a bad reputation - be careful.
There's nothing that says dating a single mother is going to lead to your being an instant Father or whatnot - it will be what YOU & HER make of it - nothing more & nothing less.
2007-08-22 08:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by martiek7 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being single and now mom myself...I'm scared to death to date. All I can think about is protecting my daughter from the filthy scum who would hurt children. Scares the hell out of me. So some guys think single moms are crazy, there are just as many single mom who think a lot of the men are crazier. It's unfortunate, but I suppose its our instinct to protect our own.
I long for the day that I find my best friend, my lover, my confidant, someone who wants to share life with a child; but I'll be damned if I'm going to let a wolf in sheepskin enter my life. I'd never forgive myself if someone hurt my daughter.
2007-08-22 08:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As with everyone there are different horses 4 diff courses and some may be a total nause yet other's may be the perfect mom and partner so really it just depends on the individual. I wouldn't let a few bad experiences stop u . I've had bad experiences at the dentist but it don't stop me from going every check up..lol
2007-08-22 08:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I married a single (divorced) mom. It is more work than just a single woman without children, you would be a fool to think other wise, but the rewards can be amazing. My step son and I have an amazing relationship and bond between us.
2007-08-22 08:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had good and bad experiences. I guess being a single mother had nothing to do with either experience. It's the people involved.
2007-08-22 07:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-27 15:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would date a single mother. the reason i is i see a future with her
2007-08-22 08:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋