When friends start to act strange, or disappear for no apparent reason, do you think... :) ?

Question

there's something wrong with...

A. Them

B. You

C. Both you and them

D. You relationship

E. None of the above, it's just life, they must be busy or something

What do you do? Ask them what's going on? Wait? For how long?

Thank you for your answer! :)

Have a wonderful day/night! :)

By "acting strange" I mean in a different way than they used to.

zen - thank you, dear!! :) :)

Marguerite - No, I used the plural on purpose, to make this a general, not a personal question.

Answer 1

the best advice i could give YOU is to trust your intuition. you know the people involved (you and them) better than anyone else, so you're in the best position to make the call. based upon how they act/react when you DO make contact, you should be able to judge whether they feel there's a problem between you two, or whether you feel it would be in your best interest to step back for awhile. you have a good heart, so don't hesitate to trust in your judgement. ask if you wish, wait if you like, but please please don't make yourself feel badly or uncomfortable.

for ME personally, i'll just give the benefit of the doubt most of the time and chalk it up to [E].

Answer 2

My answer. All of the above. when a really good friendship just starts to "disappear" there's is most likely multiple problems. What do i do? I try to find the problem. I would talk to my friend at an appropriate time and ask if the wanted to talk. I would blurt out "Is something wrong? Whats wrong?!" This is because i would rather let them come to me. Forcing something on a friend can add pressure, and make the problem worse. A friend shouldn't make the other feel awkward or pressured. By asking if the wanna talk it's pressure free, you let them know u know there's a problem and u care, and if they say no, because there was no pressure on that question they can always come back 2 u when "they want to talk." However if this went on too long, I'd pbbl ask a close family member what was going on.

Answer 3

Well, you are referring to Y!A friends in particular, I assume since the question doesn't lend itself well to face to face personalities... especially the disappearing part... which would really alarm me if say, my neighbour disappeared.

1) I consider whether I may have offended firstly (although I am not sensitive enough to notice half the time),

2) then I assume that the world away from Y!A has become pressing ...

3) that something within Y!A or outside it has stymied their usual characteristics.

4) If upon brief analysis an opinion is formed as to the cause, I then determine what an appropriate response would be. Now in this respect, sometimes silence is appropriate and sometimes time is appropriate and sometimes immediate action is appropriate.

5) Sometimes I feel saddened by the fact that, due to my own circumstances, I don't have either the opportunity, inclination, or the stamina to address the matter as I would want to... and in those circumstances I am truly saddened.

Answer 4

YO! Moon It depends on what acting strange is. If I know someone is hurting or going through a rough time I will send an email. Otherwise they can act as strange as they like. LOL.

As for disappearing well, that seems pretty normal. Unless it is somebody with a physical and mental disability of very frail due to old age. If this is the case then, I would knock on their door with some homemade goodies and offer to make them a cup of tea. Just to make sure they don't need help.

E = Ask if they are very close to me, when I see them otherwise let them get on with it. I may be wrong and a truly rubbish friend though.

Answer 5

You can ask, but don't press the issue.

It is possible the relationship could use some trust growth; it almost seems like there's a 'purposeful lack of communication.' (I'm guessing however.) This does not mean you, or they, did anything wrong; we are just human beings doing the best we can.

If by chance the person is purposefully wanting a little space (?).... or either way actually.... I would choose E as the best answer, until you find out more.

Ask them out to a resturaunt.

I hope these things help...

One last idea....

If you're truly concerned about them, and am not sure what is the best thing to do, then.... I don't know if your religious or anything like that, but that's what prayer was made for.

Answer 6

It could be a number of factors. The best way to receive an honest and direct answer is to ask the "friend". As for me, I have very solid friendships going back to childhood. One in particular has been standoffish because of one reason--alcoholism on his part. He knows I won't be around when he's drinking, which unfortunately, is most of the time. He gets louder and belligerant and always looks for arguments, even with his wife. I told him straightout that I loved him (I've known him since I was 10) and would be available to him if needed or wanted, and I haven't changed my stance since or intend to. It's called tough love. In your generalized case, I would contact the other person and ask what the issue was--if not by face, then by mail, phone call, or however is most effective.

Answer 7

Sharing is very important in a " Friend" relation same as trust.
To disappear or act strange denotes , to my opinion , that something is or has gone wrong in the the foundation/base of the relationship .
Can be misunderstandings , they occur more than often .
If that is the case some clear and precise explanations are expected and must be given.( Sharing and Trust.).
If no explanations are given , it can come from a lack of good manners and respect.

Answer 8

There is something wrong with you or them or both ways. There might be a reason why your friends wanted to evade you and that's too personal for them. However, the manifestation of your friends is a show of weaknesses towards your friendship is an act of cowardice and immaturity. Being their friends they should communicated to you and open up if there are problems to be settled, That is what true friendship is all about. Helping each other and giving each side the opportunity to be heard. With that, problems will be solved or patch up in a friendly manner.

Answer 9

It could be any of the above, but I would be most likely to believe that something is going on with them. It could be a medical or psychological problem, it could be a new love interest, or they could be changing something important in their life and just want a bit of privacy for a while. If it's a relative who is drifting away, be extra watchful. When I was younger, I sort of drifted from my parents to see if they cared enough to come after me. Later, when my son was in college he pulled the same thing. Actually, he pretty much forgot to go o class and got immersed in an interactive role playing computer game. There was a time for about 2 months when he did not answer his cell phone or e-mail, did not have another phone, and the only way for me to get in touch with him was to go online with this game. It was terrible, but I persisted, and many times drove 8 hours to go spend time with him at college. Eventually he dropped out, got his life back together and got married. He decided that a eal life was much more important than a virtual life. But, his chosen profession is video game programmer.
Do NOT wait for long. Don't ask questions right away. If you can, go to that person and spend time with them. Let them reveal the situation to you, or wait at least 2 days before you begin to ask even a few vague but respectful questions about their situation. Take them to a movie, out to dinner, for long walks. Sometimes you can't really get a grasp of the situation until you are there with them. Do not lose touch. You can always try to chat about yourself a bit. I wish you well and hope it works.

Answer 10

Dear Moon, I wouldn't "speculate on any of the five. But if I really cared, I wouldn't wait too long--there might be something wrong, & I could help. I'd probably phone & just say "HI" & "listen" for clues without straight out asking if anything was wrong. That puts people on the defensive very easily. The wait would be up to [you] & all experiences with the person/s to evaluate.

Answer 11

B. & E. I actually did have a life the past few weeks, and in the short time I was online, I tried to let a few people know so that they would not think I was ignoring their questions or emails. Maybe I have an inflated sense of self to think I would be missed! I just hate hurting the feelings of my pals. I readily admit to being "snarky," [an adjective I picked up from a friend who shows mules and donkeys,] to racists and those who think that they are divinely appointed to insist that everyone here should subscribe to their beliefs.