To scared about my body to have sex?

Question

I have been brought up in a family where your body must be covered up.My family are not Muslims but are strict Catholics and even now aged 18 my mother thinks it is wrong to wear skirts above the knee.As a result of my upbringing,the fact I am naturally very shy,the fact I still have the "catholic guilt" aspect and the fact I don't like my body, I find even the thought of having sex impossible.
I have met a lovely man who I would like to have sex with.We have been togeher for 1 and a half years and he has never pressurised me for sex however now I think it is time for us to have sex.It is the next natural step but I can't even face letting him see my tummy never alone my whole naked body.He tells me he oves me the way I am but I can't let him see me naked.Anyone experienced the same thing?

Answer 1

start exercising, start loving things about you...not neccessarily physical features, once you get that down stand in the mirror each day and pick one thing u like about yourself..physical feature..you may start with eyes/hair/nose whatever, ya know? this is a good exercise to do because you will see what others like about you too. dont let low self esteen ruine your relationship and/or stop you from doing what you need/want to be doing.

Answer 2

Nearly every girl has an issue with one or other part of her body, its just how we are, bum too big, tummy not flat, boobs too small, stuff like that, but you have that and then some because of your upbringing. OK, but what you also have is a lovely man who loves you for who are, who you've been with for a year and a half and who is not pressurising you in any way - Let go of some of that guilt and allow yourself to be loved in the way you deserve. You must be irresistibly gorgeous or he wouldn't have been waiting around for you all this time. Forget what you think you see in the mirror, in his eyes you're perfect.

Answer 3

well , i think a lot of people regardless of their religion or moral values are nervous about their first sexual experience and aren't comfortable yet with the idea of someone else looking at them at their most vulnerable moment. i grew up catholic as well, however not strict. i think it's a shame that so many people are led to believe that the human body is an ugly sinful think when it's quite the opposite. if you feel like you are ready to have sex, and the man you are with is supportive and can make you comfortable then go for it. catholic guilt is a horrible thing and i agree with a prior answerer that maybe you should go to talk a counselor about it and maybe they can suggest ways for you to break free of it. obviously you don't feel as bound by your religion as your parents do otherwise you wouldn't realize that you do in fact have religious guilt, or even be considering sex before marriage. do what you feel is right, not what other people dictate. good luck.

Answer 4

Hey, come on. Look at my picture. Even looking like I do, I managed to get knocked up twice. I bet you're beautiful.

Seriously - no need to whip everything off all in one go. Get a lovely nightie, switch off the lights and dive under the covers - then take it from there. He's waited over a year for you, I'm sure he'll understand a little modesty.

And, by the way, remember - you wouldn't be a woman if you didn't have some hang-ups about your body.

Answer 5

W0W! i go through the same thing my parents are also strict catholics, and if i told them i h ad a crush on a guy wow!
But im only 15 so, If you love him and you wanna do it, make sure you love him and you wont regret it. I usally never tell my parents anything, and if i was you i probally woudnt but if something bad does happen you wana let ur parents know.
&& you got to have comfedience, if he really loved you he wouldnt care about how ur body is shaped
& I got an idea, tell a sibling that ur gunna have sex instead of ur parents or if u dont have any sublings tell one of ur trusted friend. So just get the comfedience to show your body to ur bf, you should be proud of it too.
I hope i help = ]

Answer 6

This is why these relgions should be eradicated as do nothing but abuse and are utterly eveil.


Your parents clearly had no love for you.


you are going to need serious councelling to undo this and firstly quit this perverted relgion and either get into wicca/witchcraft which has no such issues and sees beauty, attraction and sex as a positive loving thing regardless of if about procreation of not.

or be an athiest as like said all this does is abuse and mess up people like you.

Shyness is awful and only hurts.

And things like short skirts are the means girls get guys attention and control them,.


Im am really serious when suggesting this...

Things like pole dancing lessons may really help you

Also take him to clubs where they do things like wet t shirt competitions/ jelly wrestling etc and have him cheer you on.

Make it a fun thing and take time to go further... deliberately make out in public.

Even in front of a chuch as a F u to the scum.

go here

www.thechurch.co.uk (its a backpackers club)

get involved in any competitons... get on stage at the end when its girls only on stage and getting cheered learn to tease the crowd and feel the power of it.


ive seen girls who are shy get the help they need doingthings like this to get confidence


Turn this shyness and guilt into anger and hate towards the abusers and a wway at getting back at them.

Maybe when you get confident. Make a home made porno with your guy. and have someone hack the church website and post it. Maybe dressed up as nuns and the pope and a f u abusers.


Also maybe getting a job in an Ann Summers shop and ask the interviewer to help you relax about sex. And Go to Ann Summers parties

Answer 7

This is a difficult one. I'm sorry you feel this way, but obviously your upbringing has made you like this, so it's not your fault. You're lucky to have found a really patient guy though, so that's cool. All you can do is sit him down and explain to him the way you feel, then take things really slowly - just one step at a time. I hope this works. Best of luck x

Answer 8

Would this lovely man by any chance be your uncle?? 3 yahoo accounts thats impressive. First it was wanting to abort a 34 week feotus then how wonderful you look on myspace taking drugs then (my personal fav) you had sex with your uncle. You've obviously been very busy these last couple of weeks. What will it be next?? loser get a life.

Answer 9

Don't you know that men don't see our bodies the way we do. When men look at us all they see is a beautiful body that they can't wait to get their hands on period. I know that doesn't help you with your shyness but what will help is setting the mood.Candles makes your body look sexy and a nice bottle of wine,wine is a aphrodisiac for us women.
I don't know where your from but what you should do is go to a book store and pick a couple of books out and seat in the store and read until you come upon the right book that will help you with your problem. 90% of all women don't like what they see when they look in the mirror at themselves your definitely not alone when it comes to that. When i make love to my husband i have that same little voice your talking about telling me it's dirty what your doing,but instead of listening now i talk back to my little voice and i tell it to shut up and go away this is my husband and I'm not doing anything wrong go away your bothering me.I know that sounds stupid but it works for me.

Answer 10

He loves you, and every curve of you. I realize that under your religous beliefs you should not have sex until you are married. However, it also seems that you do not wish to stay as strict as the rest of your family and that is another battle all togeather. Just turn off the lights, maybe light a few candles (candle light makes every woman look good!) and relax. Let things happen the way they will. He loves you for who you are first and somewhere down his list your looks fall into play. Only do what you are comfortable with, and make sure to disguss with him how you are feeling. Good luck hun.

Answer 11

You should give yourself more credit, do not be ashamed.
I can imagine what you are going through but sooner or later it is going to happen. Just go for it and don't think about it anymore or else it will control your life and you will miss out on alot of special things that our life has to give. As far as the way you were raised you might have to change some, because back in your parents day it was alot stricter now this is your generation you need relax and let loose. Good Luck!!!