I stated that I didn't feel special or important to my husband anymore & that it was causing problems in the bedroom & that I wanted to spend more time together outside the bedroom & fix our other problems. And I got a few answers saying that the problem was in my head, it wasn't my husbands fault & that I was being controlling. Is this true?
2007-08-22 06:32:44 · 9 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answers were NOT from my husband, they were just from someone on YA!!! I just don't want to be controlling & I didn't think that I was. Just wondering what others think???
2007-08-22 06:41:40 · update #1
Mahm, you are one of the ones who told me I was being controlling?? You are a confusing person....
2007-08-22 08:12:54 · update #2
We don't know if you are controlling...but from what you describe, your husband seems to believe so and doesn't want to acknowledge your concerns. We don't know why...maybe he truly does think it is all in your head? Or maybe he knows there is a problem but doesn't want to do anything about it because it is easier for him to ignore it?
2007-08-22 06:38:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not being controlling at all.
That's being "loving and caring" by wanting to spend time with your husband.
Whoever said it was controlling, probably IS not or HAS not ever been in a successful relationship.
Therefore, they're bitter towards relationships.
And you are right, if you are having some problems in the bedroom, they really do need to be fixed "outside" of the bedroom.
When you ask questions to people you don't know, you can't take every answer to heart.
You have to go with what you believe in, and go for the answers that touch your heart and that YOU agree with.
Then blow the other ones off.
All they are, are people's opinions.
And you'll get good opinions, from the people that can relate to you and your problems.
And then you'll get the bad opinions, from the people that don't know what they are talking about when it comes to this subject.
Good luck
I wish you well ;)
2007-08-22 07:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put a whole lot of stock into what a bunch of people on YA say. No one here knows the entire situation like you do. None of us know you.
If you honestly feel that way about your marriage, then YOU start planning things for you and your hubby to do together outside of the bedroom. I feel it's very important for couples to have at least a weekly date, yes even after the wedding. It becomes majorly important after having children. Eventually (and no one knows how long this will take) as you become closer outside of the bedroom, you will have a better relationship INSIDE it as well. It becomes more than simply having sex, it becomes making love. Which is WAYYY better than just sex any day of the week.
2007-08-22 06:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Controlling to want to spend more time with your spouse? I don't think that is controlling at all. A controller would demand they be consulted on any decision, demand to know the other person where abouts at all time, prevent the other from pursuing any kind of outside interest, what they wear, what they watch, what they eat and things like that. All I saw was you saying that you wanted to spend more time with him and needed to feel special and important again. It is not in your head, it is in your heart. If you do not feel like the center of his world, like you are the only woman for him, his queen, his heart throb, that will affect your physical relationship to him. It is called "needs", you have some emotional needs that are not being met and he is the one you want and need to meet them.
2007-08-22 07:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were controlling you have the right to discuss your problems with your husband and tell him your feelings! Tell him your needs that's what relationships are all about!
2007-08-22 10:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by Dianne L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not ask him about this?
in the first place, why do you feel that way?
inside or outside doesn't matter, as long as 2 of you are happy with each other.
both will be happy if can be in syn with each other, not when one wishes to control the other physically & mentally.
2007-08-22 06:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by lost man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being controlling. There's an aspect of your relationship that you're not happy about and you simply voiced that to your husband.
It is completely up to him to take what you said and either do something about it or do nothing. Hopefully his taking your feelings lightly isn't something he will later regret.
2007-08-22 06:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jen0408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not controlling at all. every couple needs time together w/o other people around them. that's how we stay connected. as long as you don't expect to be with him every waking moment, what you said was fine. i've done it myself and when i did, my husband realized i had a point. he'd felt us drifting apart as well.
2007-08-22 06:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
every couple needs time together
2007-08-22 07:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by moudelroomy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋