How do you make the most of your college experience?

Question

I'm a junior in college, I go to school 3 hours away from home. I haven't made hardly any friends here, I've made alot of "acquaintances" you could say, but no true friends. I'm ok with that because I have an amazing boyfriend of 1.5 years, and I do everything with him. He's my best friend here. I work here and I'm involved in a few clubs, but I don't have "friends" in those. I still just feel like something is missing. I pictured college to be so different then what it actually is. I'm pretty shy around people. I can be outgoing when I have to be, but I have hard time just flat out being myself around certain people. It's hard to make alot of "close friends" at college. I'm trying to make the most of it, I'm involved on campus, and I'm going to study abroad winter semester. I just feel like something is missing, and I don't know what, any suggestions? How do you make the most of your college experience?

And I know the most important thing is your studies while you're at school, and I do enjoy what I'm studying, but I know there's more to college then just sitting in your room studying.

Answer 1

Just be yourself and study. You will make friends naturally and by meeting people in your classes. Why not start a study group or join a study group? You are the only one who will decide how to get what you want out of school and out of life.
Yes there is more to college than just studying but if you want more you will have to get out and look for it. Get more involved and speak up more. Be more sociable if you are looking to make friends.

And for me, true friends are hard to come by. You will meet alot of people before you meet one genuine one. I really cant tell you what is missing from your life, i guess only you would know. Maybe you should also consider taking up a healthy hobby too. Like Martial Arts or sports, or even a language-whatver floats your boat.

How about you talk to your boyfriend and ask his opinion too. He knows you well and maybe he can give you an honest opinion of what else you could get out of life that you're not right now. I hope this helps. You should talk to people that know you and your personality well. You will get better answers.

Answer 2

I'm finishing grad school now , and wish I would have spent more time investigating the school .
Jr College is the only place I ever learned anything . Try to find a school that puts a focus on teaching and not research . This may take some time as most schools SAY they are teaching focused but most are not.
Myspace has a "rate ur teachers " area . I've used this to pick my classes , which has helped.
Don't be afraid of going into debt to go to school. Debt is not necessarily a bad thing, and the government is often the cheapest money you'll ever get.
Friends are often hard to find when ur working and going to school. It's not like HS where we were all together for several hours M-F. Find a club , either at school or not and get involved in it. I personally found it a great freedom when I wasn't around the same people to pick friends from during the school years.
Also , don't be supprised if college looks like "jumping through hoops". It often is , but try to take classes for fun that u are curious about.

"If you want an education, you go to a jr college. If you want a degree (or the "paper") go to a university ".

Answer 3

Hello friend,
What is missing, is not out there,
it is right inside you?
You are not contented dear.
What you have mentioned about that of having
an amazing boyfriend, a job, involvement in clubs...
and you also understand that study is very important,
have a lot of acquaintances, what else should anyone
expect of a college life!
You are a very sensible and emotional person but not
a satisfied person. Satisfaction is lying within yourself
and you need to look for it.
Just remember that anybody on this planet can have
many friends but nobody can have many 'true friends'
in today's world. Good things come in small packages,
that is the only reason why they carry much value. If all
that goodness could come in abundance then it will
not carry any value!
Treasure the goodness, be happy and satisfied and
study even better than what you may be doing now as
this is a real investment for all your entire future life.
Also at this age, if you have spare time, accomplish some
exceptional qualities like learning piano or learning a good
foreign language, which will be your assets in life.
Wishing you happiness dear!

Answer 4

I know you have a TON of answers here. SO I almost didn't want to add anything but couldn't resists :)

Having a steady boyfriend so early is a little dangerous in that you may be feeling like a married couple already. You don't get to meet new people now when you need the connections for later in life, at the same time you are shy so you are enjoying the fact that you don't have to put yourself out there and possibly get rejected. Now that you are in school is the time to practice this not when you have a job and you end up making "conservative" choices all the time to avoid getting hurt.
So my take is reevaluate the situation with the boyfriend and make sure you are not just hiding from the world by huddling together only to find out later you should have "expanded" your options. I hope you read this and it will all work out for you. The evidence of that is at least you know this is not what you signed up for so you know you have to take action. Good for you!!!

Answer 5

I maintained a 3.7GPA and was President of my Fraternity. While there were guys in my Frat which did nothing but party all the time, I figured out, that managing my time was the best way to do everything in college. I played intramural sports, went to the movies, went to the bars, had my fraternity meetings, etc... I made time to study first...and then figured out where to fit all that stuff in.. it's actually fun in the end, because when you go out, you enjoy it more than the next guy (who didn't study). Study First, but only study up to your time limit, you'll find that because you want to do other things..that your brain will become smarter / faster at learning.. at least that's what happened with me. The more I did.. the better I got. Maybe that won't work for you..but if you know you're smart as h3ll, then you shouldn't have a problem doing everything. If you're studying all the time because you're a slow learner..then don't try this.

Answer 6

Have you thought about doing some theatre? - You don't have to "be yourself" around everyone - sounds like you need some discernment in your life - Are you shacking up with this awesome boy friend? If so,quit - I can tell you simply dear one, and this is the old professor with 2 PHDs talking, and years of observing kids grappling with suddenly being "adult" and the turbulence that entails, and trying to achieve academically -- your principle need is Spiritual - If you have some sort of religious background (and the odds are you do and it is probably in some form Christianity), get together with that group of kids and get into the conversations on the really big questions - If your background is Morman or Baptist or some other intellectual neanderthal group, find a place where there is a higher level of intellectual integrity - avoid the occult, and other strange winds of thought - you will be headed somewhere when you can read the Lord of the Rings and begin to recognize and understand the depth of the meaning of the central doctrines of the Catholic faith - and that his entire work is about that and nothing else. If you didn't already know that - you have your work cut out for you.
the person you will ultimately be, and the value of the mark you will make upon society ultimately will derive from the way you wrestle with these issues - the rest is fluff - and I can assure you, the Joy that will enter your life and the friends that cluster around those who share that level of joy will make your foggy, drifting existence evaporate.

Answer 7

It is the boyfriend. I am glad that he is your best friend. That is good and the beginning of a very long relationship that will probably end up in marriage somewhere down the road.

For now, you need to get away from him so many days a week and hang out with some other people. There are times when you will just want to get crazy and do something fun. Do it and do it spontaneously. If the boyfriend does not appreciate that, then he doesn't love you. He should understand why.

What about the boyfriend? Does he have friends? How does he feel about it?

I dated this guy in high school and the first year of college. My freshman year sucked. After I broke up with the guy, I had the time of my life at college. I would not trade that for anything. I met so many people and did some crazy things. I still have contact with those people.

Answer 8

Having a relationship probably interferes with your social life b/c let's face it, in the long run you're going to hang out with your boyfriend over your friends. Not that that's bad, just factual. Also, what are you basing "college life" on? How did you picture college? If you are enjoying your life and are doing well in school don't sweat it! Not all college goers experience the high-rolling, non-stop fun, meaning party, party, party. Some have a low key experience and there's nothing wrong with that! Good luck! :)

Answer 9

First of all, let me say that I am a College student myself. Secondly I think I can help you out a little. How about this for one thing you can search your acquaintances and make some real friends out of those people. You said that you were a shy and I know it's hard, but you need to just be yourself around everyone. Don't be afraid to have fun, and you're right that you can't be studying all the times. The best way to get more involved is to go to parties, school events and other social events around campus.

Answer 10

I graduated from college 25 years ago, but I think this reference point may help you. We often create in our mind an expectation about something, often fueled by the media or movies or TV, and when things turn out differently, we worry that we did something wrong or are "missing" something. You'll feel much better about yourself, if you accept the idea that you are unique, and that what you are "missing" is really someone else's definition of "missing." We also mature in different ways throughout our life. You may be shy now, but highly dynamic in a few more years, after you become more confident about yourself and your own abilities. Your boyfriend offers a bridge to other people as well. My wife still has very strong friendships from high school. In sum, there is no quota that you need to meet. But the most important lesson this "old guy" can share is that life never stops growing in its richness and wonder until you let it. I became a black belt in karate at 47 and I recently started learning the guitar. You never really get old...just boring...

Answer 11

Well, i guess that when ever you enter a new social circle or a new society, popularity is the one thing that is on every bodies mind. Everyone wants to be at the top and be the boss of everyone else. But soon after wards, say 1 year or 2, the idea just fades away and as long as you have your best friends around you, being popularity is not needed anymore.

Well i guess the best thing for you right now, is to make the one or two "real friends" and share yoru college experience with them. =]