or helped me do anything for her, he sees her every now and then and calls when ever he remnebers he has a baby i guess which isnt 2 often, a few months ago i was forced 2 file childsupport bc medicaid had paid sum of my babys dr bills.. so next month is the 1st month he acually is due 2 pay..4 sum reason i do still care about him and want thiings 2 wrk out 4 me and my daughter, but on the other side i wont him out of our lives bc he just brings stress 2 me and i dnt c a reason 2 hav him around if he cant help with the baby.. but he says now hes gonna c the baby since he has 2 pay child support.. does any1 know how long that will take 4 him 2 go through custody court and how much money it'll cost.. and will i need a lawyer? i dnt mind him seeing our child but everytime he does he want 2 have sex wit me and my feelings start 2 come back and i need 2 get over this..any advice?!?!
2007-08-22 04:40:20 · 7 answers · asked by ashley22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sounds like it is just you and your baby.
He is only around because he has to pay. Otherwise, he would disappear.
Stop caring about him. Open up your life to men who are willing to CARE for you AND your baby, and put you 2 girls FIRST in his life. Those men DO exist.
2007-08-22 04:46:08 · answer #1 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear this a lot. Many women find it difficult to get over the fathers, you are not alone. In fact, I have a friend who has a 5 year old little boy, never has been paid child support, or anything for that matter, and still loves the guy. I do not understand it, because I have never been there. I just think that you should look to others in your situation, can you imagine your child being 5 years old and still without support from the father? I can assure you, if he is not involved now, he probably will not be. This is just the pattern that I have seen. Everyone is different. The pattern is rather abusive, because he is only there when he wants to be there. Could you imagine having a man like that forever or even a friend for that matter? We all need support in some way, whether emotionally or financially. Don't let him string you along. You do not deserve it and neither does your baby! Good luck and I hope that you come to a decision that is good for you and your child!
2007-08-22 04:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Brooke S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, 1st Yes you need a lawyer and you can find legal assistance for free.
2nd You are crazy for wanting him to be part of your child life if he says he will now see her since he is going to be paying child support. Now it is an investment for him and he does not want to waist his money. He should have had an invested interest in her from the beginning because she is his daughter, not a bill. You should be offended by that and cut him out your life completely because he will only hurt you and your little girl.
3rd, if you are still having sex with him then what are you teaching him and your little girl? It is OK to push you around and make you feel cheap and worthless. As your little girl gets older she will repeat your behavior and let a man do the same to her. You need to be a strong independent woman so your little girl will grow up by her strong mothers example and not make the same mistakes you do. I hope you listen to my advice because i have seen it a million times and it always turns out he same, your little girl does not have a chance of a good life unless you make up your mind to give it to her right now and stop cheating her by messing around with a looser and that will keep you waiting forever for him to do the right thing. YOU CAN NEVER DEPEND ON ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF, ESPECIALLY A MAN!!!!!!!
2007-08-22 04:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the child support is always good if its coming thru the state. other than that i would just let him go. He wants to be a part time dad. Sorry that job takes a full time worker. i had the same situation. i would say let him go now. also let him know that if he can't be there consistently then he don't can't be there at all. You are able to deal with it now because your child is to young to really understand but when she starts to talk she's gonna wanna know where daddy is and thats when he'll start making empty promises that you'll have to explain. the best thing is to kill that now
2007-08-22 08:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by special 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do whats best for your daughter.
She needs a father, yes, but not one who's going to hurt her emotional development.
Fight for your child support, file for full custody, and then work on bettering your own life and that of your daughter.
You are a valuable woman, and that baby is priceless, there are plenty of men out there looking to be husbands and fathers. Go out looking for those men, not ones like her father. Theyre not on the street corner, and theyre not in the bars or clubs.
Have some self respect, and love for your child. Its time to move on and make the life you both need.
2007-08-22 04:50:18 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have sex with him! Why would you love someone who has such little respect for you and your daughter? If he wants to see the baby set up a visitation schedual, meet in a public place to drop off the baby. Don't let him use your child to get into your pants.
2007-08-22 04:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by Heidi F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guess ur man n my ex realted... i have 4 children to him.. he has neva paid/ or bought them anithing.. he won.t see them unless i get back in a relationship with him.. he even denys the yougest baby is his now.. theres not alot u can do with men like this. they are the lowest of the low.. and not worthy of seeing there children. my advice is blank him out ur life and ur childs. i am doing it now. because it been upsetting my children. they asking why dady does notm want 2 see them etc.. not worth anynmore heartache for them
2007-08-22 04:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by rfamilylove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋