Do all wives view their husbands as fixer uppers? They love them but they try to change little things.?

Answer 1

(This book does deal with your specific problem, and explains why you feel she's trying to fix you).

I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...

It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unlovingly towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.

If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...

"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."

I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.

If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!

Answer 2

Nope I upgraded mine, there is a difference. I wasn't out to change him per say, just make what was already there better. He went from having a good job working for some one else, to owning 2 businesses and working for himself. And he has a music studio in our home, but that right now is more of a hobby, he does make money doing this also. But it wouldn't pay the bills right now.
Nothing wrong with helping someone reach there own potential and better them selves at the same time. He also became a Freemason last year, after years of me trying to get him too. And that has made him a better person also.

Answer 3

Oooooops! What kinda love is that? UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Halooo, woman - during courting time, everything about your man is so damn perfect - the only thing you may have regret is not putting him on the manhunt contest - you want to showcase you toyboy .... and, he was what he was at that point of time...

I love God, the creator - he leave us be ourselves ...... you know, let us make mistakes and pick up woman and be our wife, then, after we find them l little odd - try to change a little thing about them???? Goodness! You think what? [kah² kah!]- husband is like a radio car is it? you can twist the control here, twist the control there - and listen to your whims & fancy - then only you define them as good husband? Is there any standard code for Good Husband - like ISO 90002000 or the like? and, if they don't conform - they're bad husband - Haloooooo!
Perlease, woman! why wait until husband become extinct then, you woman want to have this petition thing to "save the husband" demo .... just like the dolphins blah² blah² blah...
if you love your husband - leave them be, just fix yourself.... is your hair turning white? it's okay,, just colour them.....

Answer 4

All relationships and individuals are different. It'a all about communication and compromise in a marriage. Both of will will add on your marriage! The math of marriage is:

1 person (Happy individual) X 1 person (Happy individual)= 1 happy marriage

1 person (Happy individual) X 1/2 - Unhappy (uncomplete individual) = 1/2 happy marriage

1/2 person - Unhappy (uncomplete individual) X 1/2 person Unhappy (uncomplete individual) = 1/4 happy marriage

Answer 5

'Course they all do. The thing that ticks us off is they love us but want to remodel us. They can't leave well enough alone. All thoes complient and submissively political correct hubbys are the big problem. All women see a few 'success stories' and want to have the same thing. They don't want MEN. They want wimps.

Should never have allowed him to take a rib!

Answer 6

i want he may well be quite much less of a participant.....and a pig.....and a macho-ish kinda guy. he's taking way too plenty delight in his muscular tissues and he flirts each and all of the time. he's relatively candy and each little thing and smart too yet basically that macho attitude is SOO annoing! yet w/e i'm able to get previous that.<3 XD

Answer 7

Oh, I wish he'd be a fixer upper, but it's me who's done all the changing. No compromise, just his way or the highway.

Answer 8

good question with some interesting answers.

I think A-type women really do enjoy "male projects" (which I believe may cause issues in the relationship). but most women understand their choice before marriage and accept the man as-is after marriage.

Answer 9

No I loved my husband the way he was when we got married. He's always been a great guy and I say why fix what isn't broken!

Answer 10

Some men need fixin' and some women need to chill out. That's all! All relationships and individuals are different. It'a all about communication and compromise in a marriage.