I am pretty certain i have never orgasmed. The way people describe it tells me i havent. I do enjoy sex but it doesnt seem to work for me. I cant even acheive an orgasm on my own! And im 21. How come guys can always orgasm? And masturbation is so easy for them? Ive tried so many different things with my partner and on my own and i cant do it! Why is it so easy for guys and so much more difficult for girls? I really want to experience this supposedly "amazing feeling". Why havent i had one yet? Ive been with both guys who last minutes and guys who last hours in the past and nothing has worked! I am erally truely in love with my bf and we have been having sex for about 8 months now and i still havent had one (i dont think - i am sure i would know if i did!)
Is this normal? Ive tried everything!!!
Thanks
Scarlet x
2007-08-22 03:09:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
The answer to your question (why?) is a simple matter of biology. Male biology is designed in such a way that having an orgasm is incredibly simple (insert, thrust, repeat!).
The male orgasm causes a guy to ejaculate sperm so human reproduction depends on the male having an orgasm fast and easily.
For women the orgasm is more secondary. It's a nice add on, but not really necessary (biologically speaking) and as such the female physiology is designed so that achiving an orgasm is a bit more complicated and requires more effort than is does for male.
For starters, males have penis and women have a clitoris. They are basically the same thing (anatomically speaking) with the exeption of size. Stimulation of both of those organs is what triggers the orgasm. While some girls can get orgasms without clitoral stimulation (such as vaginal penetration) that is relatively rare and more difficult. The problem with having a clitoris is that for a lot of girls, it's very small, hard to find and they (and their male partners) are unsure how to properly stimulate it to orgasm. With a penis, you really can't go wrong because it's, well it's there!
The second thing that hinders a lot of girls from achiving orgasm is mental. For most women, sex is much more of an emotional thing thing than for most men. Men usually don't have to invest any such emotions (ie: love) into having an orgasm, but a lot of women do. For that reason, it could be much more difficult for you to have an orgasm (alone or with a partner).
Obviously, the downside to all of this for women is that it's harder for them to have orgasms! But the plus side is, once they figure out how to do it, they have the ability to have multiple orgasms! Since only one orgasm is necessary for reproduction, them male is only designed to have one and usually must "recharge" before he can have another one. Women are not limited in this way so in the long run may end up with the upper hand.
What you need to do is to buy a vibrator and practice masturbation. You have to learn about your own body first and figure out what makes you have an orgasm! But when you are doing it, you shouldn't be thinking about having an orgasm (because that adds to much expectations and pressure on yourself). Just enjoy the sensation and let it happen! It might take many times before you figure it out, but once you do, you can then pass the knowledge along to your partner and you should live happily ever after. Good luck!
2007-08-22 06:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly yeah it is normal for alot of women to not Orgasm, Maybe you should go solo a few times. Try some different toys that might be able to reach an area un-explored. It's alot easier to make a woman orgasm when she has an idea of what needs to be done. All we (Men) have to do is follow the signs so to say. If you can't create your own orgasm it will be hard for another to get you there. I think with women some of it is mental.
But lastly you have to be comfortable, relax.
2007-08-22 03:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it's not normal, of course!
About sexual organs, female anatomy & nervous system is quite different. Despite for some guys it is also difficult achieving some orgasm, mind & stimulation are very strong in men. Men get and have sex by mind mainly while cases of hyper-sensitiveness of the glans are more frequent than the contrary. Sexually "cold" women are kinda common and the frigidity causes are psychological mainly. Treatment must be individualized to the factors that may be inhibiting sexual interest.
2007-08-22 03:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by whole_feelings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When II was your age, I never got to experience an organsism either. It wasn't until I was 30 that I had one -- when you do have an orgasm, you will know it. Oddly enough, it didn't occur when I was having "normal sex" -- I was being eaten out by a guy and it was fabulous. I was just quiet for a bit because it felt so good and I was so in shock.
I don't know why, but for some strange reason it seems that it is more difficult for ladies then for men. When you do have one -- you'll know it.
2007-08-22 03:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Diane 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is completely normal. I wouldn't stress myself out over it either. They will come when your body is ready. Most women don't start having a real orgasm until their twenties and even then women still fake them. Try buying a vibrating bullet from an adult toy store. They are really inexpensive and the store will have many to choose from. You will have more luck having an orgasm with clitoral stimulation than with vaginal stimulation in the beginning.
2007-08-22 03:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by Nitawee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife had never had an orgasm until we met. So we did some experimenting and i got her a vibrator and it worked great it got her there in just a very mins. and now oral works great with her (but the partner needs to know what he is doing) and like the others say you need to be relaxed and be in a great romantic setting will help too.... I would experiment masturbation with a vibrator alone and get to know your body and what feels good and where it feels the best...well good luck and enjoy and i know it will happen and you will be hooked because it is a GREAT FEELING !!
2007-08-22 03:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by Tim w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I'd say technically it's the same feeling but there are other factors that make sexual orgasms better. For one, just the emotional/physical "in the moment" experience of sex makes the climax feel much better than sitting home alone with your hand haha. And two, being inside a woman feels much better than your palm : )
2016-05-19 22:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by soledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scarlet; Chances are you have had some small ones but was not aware of them because you was to caught up in the moment. Now you are so hung up on having one that you are not sure when one does take place. You need to relax and enjoy the time and moment. Get to understand your body as in what makes you feel good and run with it. Have you tried to be more verbal with him say when he is touch or doing certain things that this or that feels good or more here and there don't stop. This will not only teach him were he needs to be but also build his ego up and he will try even harder to please you, as more times come around he will not need as much or many pointers. But you need to relax and enjoy when that mind blowing moment arrives it will ARRIVE
2007-08-22 04:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by Yogi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel your pain. I am in the same boat. I have come to the conclusion that it is just easier for some women to orgasm than others. I would love to have an answer for you and myself, guess we just have to keep having sex haha
2007-08-22 04:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is simple. When the man ejaculates he gets a pleasure and that is man's orgasm. Or rather at the peak of his orgasm he ejaculates. Since the woman does not have any ejaculation she is influenced by the action of the penis inside the vagina, its movements, the kissing, the stroking of the breasts and touching other parts of her body etc give her orgasm.
2007-08-22 03:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by rajan l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋