I want to drop out of marching band but I don't know how I'll tell my mom?

Question

I hate it.
I really honestly to god hate it, but my parents paid $200 for it and they've bought me my own clarinet.
Everyone is so much better than me and I know I'll be an alternate anyway, but I can't tell them because they've done all these things to prep me up for it and I just can't waste it all.
What do I do?
Every morning of marching band camp I wake up with this heavy feeling in my body and I feel like crying when I recall the looks I get from the others when I play a really easy song wrong. Plus it's practically the whole day, 7 AM - 6 PM, and I can't even see my family that much anymore because once I get home it's just practice practice practice the music. It's ruining my summer and I know it's gonna ruin my school year.
But I CAN'T quit.
What do I do?
Every day I go feels like torture.

I don't want to continue and disappoint them by being an alternate but I don't want to disappoint them by quitting either.

Answer 1

My suggestion would be to just tell them at dinner one night. Say something like "Mom, dad, Ive been doing a lot of thinking and I just dont think the marching band is right for me. I really tried to like it but I dont. I wanted to tell you now before you spent any more money on something I dont want to do." If you are interested in something else, like sports then maybe you can tell them that. "Id really like to try out for the baseball team next spring" Be as honest and as polite as possible. Talk to them like an adult and they should treat you like one. It ultimately should be the child's decision on what activities they participate in but I know alot of parents push their own interests on their kids (for example, I want my daughter to play softball because thats what I played but Im not sure she really wants to, she is more into soccer, like her dad).

Hope that helped and you can tell your parents without them getting too upset. Id atleast finish out the camp though since they did pay for that already. Good luck!

Answer 2

First, speak with your band teacher about getting some alternative or extra instruction so that you can improve your playing. Also, consult with him about possibly switching instruments -- perhaps he's short on saxophones or something? The fingering is the same as clarinet and then you wouldn't be an alternate, but really in the band.

That approach is improving the bad situation, not quitting.

However, if that doesn't work -- if you can't get the extra help or tips on improving your skill or switch instruments -- then do what I did when I realized I'm pretty much without rhythm and musical skill, and have no right playing in the school band: I earned the money to pay my parents back for my flute, all on my own, then I handed them the money and said, "Sorry -- I tried, but the band teacher and I agree that music just isn't where I belong. Here's your money back." I also sold the flute afterwards and got part of my earnings back.

P.S. Honestly, $200 will not buy you a very good clarinet, unless it was used. Is your instrument in good repair? Does your band teacher think it has enough quality to be in the band? A bad instrument could be part of the problem!

Answer 3

I started playing drums and percussion instruments when I was 12. I never went to band camp but in High School I would get to the school at 6 am and practice with the marching band until 7, go to classes, then meet after school for a few hours practicing. I would usually walk the mile and a half home and then start my chores on the farm. I had to do my chores before I went to school in the morning as well. My day was full of band, school and chores. Yes! some days it really sucked. but, looking back. I had some of the best times and made some long lasting friends in band. I've been out of school for almost 25 years now and I still stay in touch with the kids from the band.
granted, I never played a wood instrument and I feel that is a very hard thing to play. Clarinet is one of the most difficult to play. Practice practice practice. that's how you get better.
I would practice for 2-3 hours a day and I was just learning rhythms.
go to your folks. tell them how you feel. be mature about your reasons. don't whine and cry to them. explain that you just don't feel good about the band thing anymore. your folks will listen if you present your ideas and have a solution to your problem. this will show maturity and they will be proud that you've thought this out.
However, should you choose to stay in band, go to the teacher and see if he/she can help you get better at what your doing. talk to your parents about private lessons or maybe after school you could have one of the other clarinet players help you.
Attitude is key. If you give into the fact that this is taking up a lot of time and you hate it, you'll never improve. but if you change your thinking, you will become successful. Look at Benny Goodman. He learned to play many instruments but the clarinet was his favorite. and what about Kenny G. He has settled on the saprano saxaphone and loves it.
think this one over for longer than a second. it's a tough choice but if you think it out. you'll do what's right
good luck.

Answer 4

DEJAVU!! I'm in the L.D. Bell Blue Raider Marching band as an alternate!!1. Just keep your head up thats the only way your going to get a spot. 2.Train hard make sure when your doing your marching fundamentals that you try to push yourself to make you more precise. Precision is key in marching band(or atleast it is in ours).3. Try to watch everyone in your section that has a spot and try to figure out which one sucks the most, then pick them for challenges. Think of it this way our practices are from 7:30 AM to 9:30 PM everyday except Sunday

As for the musical part I'm the second to last chair in 4th band! I play flute so I don't know anything about clarinet but try to get some lessons with a really easy going teacher so you don't feel any pressure to be perfect. I garantee you that everyone in 1st band has a private teacher. You don't have to practice all day. Just set aside thirty minutes to an hour a day and just break it down to what you need to get done(like 1. Fundamentals 2.Show Music 3. Private Lesson stuff.)

But if you really hate it then you realy should quit, but before you do try my method for a little while and maybe things will get better.If not pay your parents back and quit.

Answer 5

I am in my school's marching band. I started last year, and it was my first time playing an instrument since 3rd grade. (i'm going to be a junior) I started on the Bass Clarinet, and because i had to learn to play it much faster than i would have had to ordinarily, i was really awful. I always squeaked and i didnt know my scales at ALL. i still dont really know them lol. One time i got humiliated in front of the whole band when we each had to play a scale, and i didnt know it and i had to admit it in front of EVERYONE. I was never so embarressed in my life. Everyone in the band had been playing their instruments for years and years, and were SO GOOD, and i couldnt even play a scale! But everyone forgot about it i'm sure, and no one ever said anything to me.
My band camp practice is from 9am-10pm for 5 days in a row. And i know that can be exahusting. I know that 200 dollars is alot of money, that's how much i had to pay for it, but if you honestly hate it so much than i'm sure your parents will let you quit. However, if this is ur first year, and i'm assuming it is, dont quit just yet. Marching band was a TON of work for me too, and like i said i was AWFUL when i started, but i ended up having a blast. and i made a ton of friends. And even if you still hate it at the end of the year, just dont join next year! At least you gave it a fair shot first!

Answer 6

Difficult decision. Do something to get money to pay them back and maybe give the clarinet to a little sibling or a close relative. Then just sit down and explain to your parents. If your parents are like mine, they're understand. They only want the best for you and they want you to be happy. I went through a dilemma like this with clothes. I was in the 7th grade and I wanted to look cool for the new school year. My peers were wearing Hollister and Abercrombie and TIlly's etc. But my mom insisted on uniforms from Kohl's to wear like I had my previous years of school. I sat down and told my mom I was 12 now- almost a teenager. I want to pick out my own stuff and I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb, I was pretty upset over the situation and so was my mom. But we eventually worked something out. I have to wear the uniform to church and on spirit days.

Hope I was of help.
-KayCey

Answer 7

Talk to your mummy about it. No parents would force their children to take a hobby they dislike. What's more you do not have interest in it at all.

Tell your mom how you lousy you are feeling, tell her how much you appreciate them for paying so much and buying you the musical instrument but you just sucks at it. Also, how much effort you have put it but you still couldn't get it right.

Hopefully then, your mom would see the picture and agree to put you out of it :) May you get out of your misery soon!

Answer 8

you should tottally keep playing. im in eighth grade and in middle school( our school district is wierd. elementry=kindergarden-4th....another building is 5th&6th....im in the 7th&8th grade building and then high school is 9th-12th) and i know next year when i get to the high school i REALLY want to try my best to be in marching band. people that i know now tell me that it is SO fun. i play clarinet too. i know how you feel. you always think that EVERYONE is better than you. i am not that good at playing. and if i try my best i dont know WHAT could happen. people will end up calling you a nerd or a band geek. but HEY you get to go to all of the football games atleast. (yay) i think that you should just try your hardest and see what happends! you never know. hope that you have fun. music can take you a long way. and PLEASE stick with it. thats what my band teacher always said to me! its fun. and thats why i enjoy it. <33 ashley. PLZ tell me what you end up doing!

Answer 9

Stop torturing yourself and tell your parents, they will understand that you don't like it. You have to be yourself and if being in the band is not who you are then speak up/

Answer 10

i too am a frustrated clarinet player. band sucks. i told my mom that ill do something other than band next year if she'll let me quit. make a deal with them