when will i feel like a real adult?

Question

I'm 28, married ,2 kids 9 and 3. Own home,pay income tax,council tax,own car. But i still feel like a kid,i'm not daft and hae lots of common sense and knowledge but somehow i don't feel like i fit into the 'adult world'. I look at girls younger than me and they seem really mature,they dress in nice shoes and coats,where i'm happy in trainers,flats jeans and hoodies etc. Why?

Beans? I don't think i lack class! I would say i'm classier than an adult who lives on benefits and depends on the state to pay my way.

I'd never blow 3 guys in a parking lot.

Answer 1

You haven't done a line of coke naked while blowing 3 guys in a parking lot.

Answer 2

Dressing in "nice clothes" does not make one an adult. You are an adult, chronologically after you've left your teens but mentally, it is subjective.

The mark of maturity is when you understand that your actions have consequences and you think about how you effect those around you and life in general.

I used to spend hours getting ready with beautiful designer clothes and expensive outfits but I never questioned whether or not I was an adult. I knew I was an adult the day that I realised that I gave a damn about others and then started doing those things to ease the journey for others instead of thinking "what's in it for me".

It is ok that you still feel like a kid at 28. Did you know that in France, women aren't really considered women until around the age of 35? I think it is a romantic notion and can be applied to both sexes but I did notice that everyone who is self-aware goes through some majour changes between the ages of 27 to 34 with 35 being a benchmark in development.

Don't sweat it. Just enjoy your life the way you see fit and do your best to help others along.

Answer 3

Hi Mummy!
Well I'm not sure about your situation but maybe in a way you are still a kid. You had your nine yr old fairly young and haven't lived out those crazy wild years. You're a mom now..try and find ways of adjusting to that but have a life. Ask a friend to babysit and go out for a drink or to a movie. Look for different events in your city and try and attend every now and then. This gives you some time away from the kids. You'll realize some of girls are dumber than they look!!

Answer 4

Then don't. When it's necessary i act like an adult, but i just refuse to grow up. My kids and everyone elses have a ball around here because i can still see things from their point of view. I have an extremely silly sense of humour. I still jump in puddles in my wellies. Still misbehave when i should be sensible. Don't even think about growing up girl. The older you feel, the sooner you die.
A family member was very streight. Very grown up. He had a lot of responsibilities. A lot on his shoulders, as do many of us. He took life so seriously and so literally that he died at a very young age. And he isn't the only one. Life's a bitc., a black comedy, made much easier if you take it in your stride and accept it for what it is.
I know people round here don't accept me because i can take the joke. Im not bogged down by bad marriage and debt like most of them and they resent that. Boy do they talk.
Sod em' all. Stay young at heart.

Answer 5

Mummy Pig, remember the Chinese value the wonderful, friendly pig. Look to that source to find out why the pig is so great.
Now, about your 'maturity'.
I sounds like you're comparing what you think an adult (mature person) looks like. There's some truth to that, but the real truth is found in actions.
When faced with decisions, generally, whose interest and welfare do you put first? Are you like a child who is always focused on herself as the center of the universe (I'll bet not)? Are you a whiner, complainer and a brat when you don't get your way? Do you hold grudges? Do you gossip for entertainment? You see, how others look is NOTHING compared to how they behave when things get thick.
Further, think about this: I've heard one definition of 'maturity' as "the ability to practice 'deferred gratification' ". You know, putting off something fun or desired for some other, more sensible, need.
So, how to get in touch with your sense of 'adultness'? It's all in perspective, and it takes a little time. But, be conscientious when you think about yourself and others - and think twice. There are always more than one way of perceiving things. The most poised, well-dressed gal may be going home to a possessive, bullying, demeaning husband. The nicest looking folks can be simply rotten inside, or stupid, or selfish and have ill intent.
Find some self-help literature to peruse, learn more about the dynamics of self-esteem (how to identify it and fortify it for yourself) - call a local bookstore for assistance (just tell them what you need, they'd love to help).
If I can do it ('coz your singin' my song, sister), so can you.
Gird your loins, straighten your back, and get ready, your pride awaits you.
Best of all wishes and a star for good luck.
;-)

Answer 6

You'll feel like a real adult when you're comfortable wearing the clothes you like to wear. Just because you wear casual clothing does not mean that you are "still a kid". You have responsibility and priorities. You have children to look after and a husband to take care of. Younger girls make LOOK like they have it more together than you, but you would be surprised how much of a facade that really is.

Start thinking about being in your own skin as well as accepting and being comfortable with who you are. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

You do feel like a real adult....its just that most people your age are still trying to hold onto youth. If you are "happy" the way you are, that is what being an adult is all about. Think about it...when you were technically a child, were you ever truly happy?

Answer 8

well..... im only 13 but i am mature, too mature if u ask me.... the thing is, ive been through alot over the years and allthough its the worst thing a child can go through do i not only feel the pain but everything ive gone through has made me feel like a woman .... u may not get my point but if your happy the way you are then dont let it or anyone else get to you....the way you feel may be because you cannot accept becoming a woman/feel like a woman not a kid - maby you want to be a kid and if your husband/wife can love and accept you the way you are then maby you should.......thanks for your time and hope my advice helps you...

Answer 9

I have no idea......I am 37 and I still don't feel like I have grown up. I love playing with my children so if I look like a child fine.....I will be ok with that......My children believe that I am cool.

13, 12 & 10 One day I will not be cool and I won't know what I am talking about.....so take advantage while you can. Blessings.

Answer 10

Do you really want to fit into the 'adult world'?
It does not sound as if you do.

I never have done and can't say that I want to. I am 54 and happy as I am.

Enjoy your life and your children.

Answer 11

hopefully you won't have to


if you want to be boring and all that, get a boring job and buy some nice shoes and coats (probably required for the job anyway)

then after like 20 years of it, you will feel and be old