I have tried to talk to her about this but she will NOT listen. I tell her that I need time alone and I need other friends but she refuses to hear what I am saying. This has been going on for well over two years. I have a friend that lives away from here that tells me I am more than welcome to come visit. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would never agree to me going. I feel that I must get a break or I will have a BREAKDOWN!!! HELP!!!
2007-08-22 02:17:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u need to relax.. this is a delicate thing.. and any harsh reaction could hurt.. she is showing love... not a negative emotion... get her some friends and organise activities she can have with them {]
2007-08-22 02:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by who ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an expression "we teach people how to treat us" and I really do believe it. Somehow you have gotten into a pattern into your relationship where your wife makes the decisions and somehow you let her. It might be that she is a more difficult person to live with and to make your life less complicated, you just let her make the decisions. The problem is that the longer this goes on, the more you are going to feel like you are not in control of your own life. It almost becomes as if your wife is your Mother. Ideally a relationship is two people making decisions - but you have clearly said you'd like to visit a friend but your wife won't agree to it. You have to think about how to change this - if you are unable to do it on your own then you should see someone who can help you. Many of us have difficiulty negotiating conflict in family situations. Often the easiest solution is just to give in and let the other person have their way. But this is not healthy in the long run.
2007-08-22 09:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by aja5505 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DAMN! I think your wife and my boyfriend should hook up... LMFAO, Just kidding. This is tough, there is no nice way of saying "get a life". I know I've tried... in the meantime do things that only you can do, for instance, when you want your "alone time", read a book, take a warm bath, go work out, etc. Things that she really won't be able to do. But at the same time, make sure that when you finish with your alone time you make time for her. Maybe she is like this because she doesn't feel she's getting quality time with you, so you have to be fair too...
2007-08-22 09:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by Always Wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down, tell her that you are going to visit a friend and will back later. Do not abuse it just let her know that you will have friends and will visit them alone. You may need to reverse it by treating her the way she treats you I mean when she takes two steps you are right there when she brushes her teeth sit there and watch, when she poops stand outside the door and say are you finished yet I miss you. Then maybe she will get the hint or it could backfire and she'll love it.
2007-08-22 09:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your confused , here your complaining she's been smothering you for 2 years ? or over 2 years ? but in your question after this she allowed you to get your hair done for your birthday but didnt get you a card? and you were behind in the bills just 1 week after she lost 1 job and started another job ? how do you get so into debt in 1 week?
You need a councilor singularly away from your wife to help with your confusement issues.
2007-08-22 09:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A friend far away? You're not single anymore, you are married now, you don't go on trips with friends and have fun all weekend. I would love to do that too, don't get me wrong, but things change after marriage.
I have a solution though, have a baby, then she'll leave you the hell alone and you'll be begging her for sex that once a month that she has the energy to give it to you.
One question though, are you falling out of love or losing attraction for your wife?
2007-08-22 09:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is there a reason she is that way? Have you ever given her a reason not to trust you in the past? If you have then there is your answer. If not then talk to her and see what is up. Offer her a girls weekend away somewhere with her friends...maybe she will go and then you will have a break.
2007-08-22 09:26:01 · answer #7 · answered by chris d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Omg, I would never do that to my soon to be husband. It is important to have other ppl to talk to, other than just 1 person w/ 1 mind. She needs friends. Go on couple dates, have other couples come over for dinner, do things that involves other ppl.
2007-08-22 09:29:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to assert your position in this marriage, man. There's a reason why there are TWO people, so they can negotiate. She probably won't agree, but try negotiating anyway. You're the husband; take charge of things!
2007-08-22 09:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Luna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to find a hobby for her together. Encourage her to go out with her own friends. Try to keep her busy with any activities you think she might like.
If she is not working encourage her to find a job.
Job+friends+social activities may be a good recipe for her.
Good luck
2007-08-22 09:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did someone not just ask this exact question from the woman's perspective?... Anyway you should just tell them that they need to respect you wish for alone time.. just cause they wanna be around you doesn't mean they should disrespect your thoughts.
2007-08-22 09:29:50 · answer #11 · answered by Blake K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋