this woman in the church said to my friend we are not really able to cope?

Question

with your sort of problems (cos she had a bad childhood sexually abused) then she said to me the reason you react to things like you do is because of your childhood the hurt you have been through, she said this in front of a group of people and I felt so different and embrassed she said she has had a good childhood, i would never say that to someone in front of a group, what is her problem

Answer 1

Jesus preached that he had come to help the poor and the broken - he also hinted that everyone has wounds but not all of them are visible (or recognised by the bearer).. She was arrogant and unchristian and should not be in charge of this group.

In might be true that the group does not have the skills to provide professional counselling and similar care but they can pray for your friend and with her and help her to feel the group's genuine affection which is a great healer in itself.

I hope everyone who reads this question prays for your friend at least the once whatever their belief system.

Answer 2

'This woman in the church' is not a qualified psycologist. She is obviously selfish and self-involved. I'm not a big believer in 'the church' to begin with, but I certainly wouldn't use it as a place to get over a traumatic event. Talk to a person that is more qualified, like a counselor at a local mental health clinic. Maybe someday you will feel more comfortable talking about it. At that point, you can share with other people the painful things in your past, and how your faith helped you cope with them. But church is not the place to begin dealing with a deep childhood scar like sexual abuse.

(I'm assuming that the 'friend' is actually you....)

Answer 3

What a thoughtless thing that woman did. I hope you tell her this to her face, in front of a group. How tactless of her, and insensitive.

What is her problem? Whatever it is, she's trying to divert attention away from it by focusing on you. I'd say, though, that her problem is linked with her incredible indiscretion and lack of tact.

Find someone else in the church to talk to. Clearly someone like this isn't going to allow you any personal dignity.

Answer 4

An ill-stared individual with all the sensitivity of of a sponge.

You could try telling her that -politely- 'as well meaning as she was trying to be, she was inept and likely did more harm than good as a result. And her commentary was best kept to herself in the future.'

Sash.

Answer 5

You need to take her into a room in private and state very firmly: "What you did in front of a room full of people is extremely inappropriate." "I do not wish my private matters to be aired in front of strangers."

You can't argue with that and if there is an attempt at an argument then question why she finds it difficult to respect your feelings and your wishes.

"Good childhood" indeed.

Answer 6

This woman is either a naive and miss-guided wanna-be therapist or a lonely histrionic seeking cudo's for her advice.

Answer 7

That sucks. She probably didn't mean to be rude, maybe she was just trying to help.
Maybe just get her by herself and tell her that it embarasses you to have it mentioned in front of others?

Answer 8

maybe likes to have the limelight