I have been married for 18 years and had a great relationshp with my wife. She lost alot of weight 2 years ago and really looks hot. Earlier this year she got a boob job. A couple of months ago I find out she is on a dating site and is really firting with people. We a couple of weeks ago she met a guy for drinks at a local hotel. I found out later that he had a room there that night. We also had a room there. She picked me up and we went out and back to the room. The next morning she just came out and told me that she left the room that night to get someting to drink at 3am. She has never left the room before in 18 years. She email him the next day on an email account I was not supposed to know about and told him she had a great time and wished they could have spent more time together. When confronted, she got very angry and said nothing happened other than them having drinks. I think she crossed the line by not ltelling me. Does anyone else think she has been unfaithful?
2007-08-22 01:09:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you're naive. If she is comfortable enough to bring you to the hotel with her while she's picking up strange guys, you've got a real problem on your hands. Keep digging, you're going to find more.
2007-08-22 01:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get an internet filter so she can't go to those sites anymore.
Seriously though, what hotel bar is open at 3 am?
Your wife is probably overwhelmed by the way guys are treating her now, guys that would have never given her a second glance before.
You have to wonder what she was really doing. If she was truly innocent, she wouldn't have gotten angry - she would have been sad and crying and apologizing for doing something stupid that could have been interpreted badly.
The fact that she got angry shows she didn't intend for things to stop at just having drinks, that she was probably in his room (not at the bar) and that you probably can't trust her.
Here's what you do - pack all of her things and put them on the front porch, change the locks too. Don't talk to her at all until she's ready to admit she has a problem and needs help. Will it be easy? No. But people only treat you the way you allow them to. Don't accept her cheating ways - and she'll either leave you, or she'll stop looking for other men. It's as simple as that.
2007-08-22 08:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is possible that your wife is very flattered by her new found attention....many overweight women that lose the weight go through a period like this. Remember, it is new to her to have this much interest from the opposite sex. You didn't mention your wife's age, but it is also possible that she is going through some sort of mid life crisis....I have seen a few marriages hit very rocky roads during this time.
Whether or not she has physically cheated on you...I can't say. I would however call sneaking out of your hotel room to have drinks with another man and emailing him wishing you had more time is definitely being unfaithful.
The two of you need to have a real talk....you need to let her know how beautiful you find her and how much you enjoy your time with her and how much you love her....but that you will not stand by and allow her to disrespect you by seeing other men.
18 years of marriage....you deserve better than that! Lust is a temporary high....where is she gonna be when it crashes?
Good Luck....I hope you find a way to pull your marriage back together.
2007-08-22 08:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by getrd2go 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think she'd think there was nothing to it if you went out for drinks with a strange woman in the middle of the night. She maybe hasn't been unfaithful, yet, but I'd say she's looking to and has crossed the line. If she's hiding it, she's definitely looking to get into something. Tell her you're not stupid and know what she's up to. It mystifies me when someone is about to cheat they think their spouse just suddenly turns stupid and will believe all the lies. Don't! Again she may have not cheated yet, but she certainly giving you every indication she wants to. Confront her with the email. She can't deny her own words!!!
2007-08-22 08:23:00 · answer #4 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfaithful, perhaps in spirit, not necessarily physicallly.
She has a new look and a new outlook on life itself. Sit down with her and talk about what she is searching for and if the two of you can work together on it. She might feel a need to experiement with her sexuality in general, or just need to tweak her fantasies.
You might have to deal with the concept of her needing to look beyond the marriage bed. If that is the case, I suggest that you think about incorporating some swinging for the mutual benefit of both of you.
With open and honest communication this can be resolved. But finger pointing and arguing will lead nowhere except divorce court.
2007-08-22 08:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she wanted to enjoy her new appearance but crossed the line when she tried to do it by flirting with other men. What she had done at the hotel is definitely "cheating". So you should talk to her and try to learn what she wants to do from now on. Wants to leave you and try some relationships with other guys? Or wants to go on with you and ready to make amends? You should also be ready to be strong if you hear unpleasant things. But I do not recommend to make accusations while you are talking because they only lead to a fight and more defensive stance. At the end of the fight probably you will find yourself at the beginnig. Clueless. Just try to find out "what she wants"? And be ready for the worst.
2007-08-22 08:33:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not yet at least, she is infatuated with this other guy. Married women don't go on dating sites. So I would say you can either let her run and she will get over it ( I know guys that do it that way)or you might want to start bringing her flowers, changing your after shave, woo her again.
She is probably one of those types that need that sort of thing. Also, you have to protect her, that guy could just be a predator! after her money or he could even kill her.. So get in there and take care of the lady you married!!
2007-08-22 08:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want an answer to this? On the information you have given us, it does sound like she's been unfaithful, or is planning to be. Good luck, and hope I'm wrong. You can always try for the t.v. show Cheaters, and hope you and I are both wrong, but at least you'll know for sure.
2007-08-22 08:17:21 · answer #8 · answered by Player 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is really enjoying her new body. She should not have met anyone you didn't know about. Cheating is cheating no matter how you look at it. If she is hiding things this is a form of cheating. You need to have a long talk with her and then decide what you want to do.
2007-08-22 08:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is prett obvious, but the question is where do you go from here? Do you still want to be with her, and is she going to continue this behavior? If you can't stand this behavior then you need to get out. You could possibly develop into an open relationship if you wanted to go that route, or you can just stand by and let her run all over you.
2007-08-22 08:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋