How can I discover who I am? Am I normal?

Question

I'm 19 and Iranian. My culture has a pretty strong grip on some of my relatives. They live in a Iranian community so they feel a sense of belonging and have confidence in who they are. I don't know what is good and bad anymore. I'm considered unintelligent by the majority of the people I meet. I don't have confidence, running ow on fuel, I'm just confused. Things use to be great for me. I acted intelligent, rational, and organized. Now it's he complete opposite. It seems that the more I grow up, the more out of focus my life is. My Iranian family can not understand why I interpret the world the way I do. They just think I'm stupid and I don't know any better. Maybe I am. Could be very true. I just don't know.

I don't know who to compare myself to or whom to look for advice. Maybe I should listen and be more patient.

Answer 1

you create who you are, as you move from childhood to adulthood, the early adult years are for defining yourself, you are now becoming what you will be , so decide how you might wish to be, see what steps (it usually takes many small ones) you can take to reach that goal, you will perhaps find /try out different things and some of them may seem right, some dont, you discard the ones which dont seem to fit , and go for others that do, think about what you like, what interest you,
this is how you develop yourself, in interest, hobbies, relationships (outside of family), work, religion, etc etc
and yes, you are a very normal young adult! its normal to feel confused during this time of life, there are many many choices to make, decisions to make, things to define about yourself

Answer 2

Being 19 is never easy. You are experiencing something which is far more common than you suppose, whether in Iran or anywhere in the world. You are on the edge of adulthood, and don't yet have a clear sense of identity.

It is my theory that the people who take some time figuring out who they are, what they believe, what is important to them, their goals and values -- these people end up better people than those who simply accept the "normal" for their culture. Forget normal: it's just a statistical measure, and not in any sense relevant to an individual. Ask if you are healthy, ask if you are happy, productive, self-confident, etc., but forget normal.

My guess is you need to take some time to decide on your next step in life. Do you want to get more education? Is there a career path you want to work toward? Do you need to study your strengths and weaknesses to discover an appropriate career path? If you can find a mentor, an older person that you can really talk to freely, then do that. But you may find more by exploring for yourself. What about travel, one of the traditional ways a young man "finds himself."

Good luck!

Answer 3

It all starts with a question, and the fact that you're asking proves that you're not stupid. You are very normal. Perspectives differ, and it doesn't mean that if everyone sees it that way, you should also. I believe that people change, and with that opinions too.

I think you just need to reassess yourself. Try to figure out what makes you confused. Talk to your family; listen to what they have to say and see why they react to you in this way. Ask other people also - close friends, colleagues, people you trust. Talk to them about your concerns, and if they really are honest with you, they'll tell you.

Take their feedback as positive reinforcement for you to grow in maturity with, to help you boost your confidence. Look at your assets, your skills and talents and work around them. See what you have in you, and maximize your potentials. That way, you grow as a person, and you find out exactly who you are.

Hope this helped.

Answer 4

Of course you're normal! You got on your computer and knew how to work it, right! But more importantly, you had the sense to ask someone for help! I usually feel the same way - but do not try to compare yourself to anyone else - I make that same mistake sometimes. People are different. You don't have to try to be like anyone else - if everyone was alike, that would be stupid and boring. My mom makes me feel the same way sometimes - but I really know that I'm not stupid - and believe me, you are not either!

Answer 5

Be true to yourself and trust yourself. And honor yourself. You are not stupid!
We all have a core. Embrace the changes you are going through ... in the end you will be even more intelligent, rational and organized. You will earn your relatives approval and support. You may even help the ones whose views are the same as yours but they are afraid to trust themselves.

Answer 6

I believe you are pretty normal because you could express well of yourself. It seems you are intelligent too. You will discover yourself as you grow older. I know your old enough to know more yourself well. Good luck and explore everything beautiful in this world.

Answer 7

Allah has a plan for you, maybe you should listen to yourself and stop worrying about such trivial things. What will happen will happen, you just need to be prepared to accept destiny. Put yourself into the hands of fate, and things will be fine.

Answer 8

Never let other people tell you whether you are intelligent or not. Don't care for the people that do, just care for the people that you think care for you.

Also, don't try to compare yourself to anyone! We are all individuals, incomparable!

Answer 9

Try to find more friends here on Yahoo Answers!
I think here are your future friends and they are waiting for you to contact them!

Answer 10

yes u r normal....evry one is normal
i suppose the journey to discover yourself is hard and you'll have to be tough to ace the truth....i've tried it but i still dont no who i am =[