Is there anyway to get a quick divorce / annulment?
We got married in May.
She cancelled the wedding the day she bought her dress.
She constantly accuses me of cheating to the point I think I'm having a nervous breakdown trying to defend myself.
She goes out of her way to hurt me (I got a text message a few weeks back telling me she was cheating).
She's dented my confidence telling me that I'm no good in bed (I no longer enjoy sleeping with her).
Every argument we have ends up in her wanting a divorce.
I feel I have to explain my every move to her.
She's constantly snooping around the internet trying to 'catch me out'.
She constantly accuses me of lying (even when she lies to me).
She's very self opinionated and has double standards.
I'm not able to be myself anymore and have become miserable as a result of it all. Now I just want out and want to get back to being me again.
Any ideas?
2007-08-21 22:28:09 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL at my 'wifes' reply at the bottom ... she forgot to mention 1 or 2 facts too ... such as on December the 28th I had a fone call in the middle of the night ... I could hear moaning and groaning in the background ... then I heard a voice ... my soon to be ex wife's 'ex' boyfriend telling me how they were 'enjoying' each other's company!!! My 'wife' has a distorted outlook on life which seems to affect her ability to see / do things rationally. As for the 'sleeping' with a prostitute ... for the record (as you can see, more FALSE accusations) I never slept with a prostitute. HOWEVER ... as I'm free and single to do what I want from now on I will never rule it out!
2007-08-22 01:49:53 · update #1
*** About my 'sleezy' job ***
I run premium rate telephone services. My wife knew this long before we met. She helps me run my business and was actively seeking female models to photograph and contacted one within the last fortnight.
When it comes to money my 'wife' is something else. she is currently holding a few hundred pounds of mine so she can fund a trip to Tenerife. She has refused point blank to give it back.
Also, please feel free to check out my answers / questions that my 'wife' reffers to ... as most people with a sense of humour will agree, they're not to be taken seriously! The questions / answers were written while we had split up around 11 months ago ... I can accept that I'm not allowed to have a sense of humour now but I think it's taking it to the extreme that I can't have one when we've split up!
Thank you for all of your posotive answers ... I will be taking advice from various family members and have finished with the loony for good.
2007-08-22 01:59:40 · update #2
Gosh.
I feel sorry for you. Surely as a newly wed, you should be anything but miserable!!!
Well, I suppose that she must be very insecure and loves you so much and at the same time, she can't seem to accept that you have chosen her!!
So, I guess putting you down and denting your confidence was a way to make sure you'd stay with her.
That's a real shame, because, obviously all she has succeeded in doing was to push you further away from her.
Do you think you could find it in you to give it another go using marriage counselling.
She definitely needs it; She needs to talk about her insecurities and address them, confront them.
Obviously it's not a healthy situation for any of you.
It's a real shame, because it sounds like you must have loved her to put up with her tantrum and erratic behaviour for so long, before getting married and for even still marry her in the end.
I feel sorry for you, because, no, it's not right. She has no right to try and make you feel bad to make herself feel a bit better.
SHE has to sort herself out.
SHE seems to have issues that need sorting out.
It'd be a shame if you have fallen out of love with her, as she could use your help and support. On the other hand, your desire to run fast, is totally understandable.
You won't be of any help to her if she manages to destroy you.
Good luck. It's such a shame.xxx
2007-08-21 22:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kc 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to ask why you married her in the first place. I am sure that this is a question that has already rattled around your head.
Your best bet, is to just be you for starters. Let her call you a liar and a cheat. If you are flying straight, then she won't find any dirt.
Second, talk to your wife and let her know how much her behaviour hurts your feelings. I know that your not supposed to have feelings and all that, but show her that you are concerned.
Third, talk to your pastor, if you go to church. If your not religious, then hook up with a counsellor. Even if it's does not save your marriage, it will help you keep from picking another woman just like her.
Forth, go see a lawyer and discuss your options. I would use this as a last resort because it means that you have given up. and if you don't do everything that you can for this marriage, the next time you get involved, the unresolved issues will carry over.
2007-08-22 06:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by wildwillyinva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends where you live. In the UK you can only go for an annulment pretty much if you haven't consumated the relationship or if one had a mental disorder at the time of the wedding (of I remember rightly). Otherwise its a divorce. For a divorce you need to prove that the marriage has irretrievably broken down as evidence by 1 of 5 facts 1)unreasonable behaviour, 2)adultery (you cant have lived with her for over 6 months from when you found out), 3)separation for 5 years 4) abandonment/desertion and I cant remember the 5th I think its sopmething liek youve been separated for 2 years and both agree...don't quote me on that.
Divorces only tend to drag on if one party contests thepetition, and from what you've said about her behaviour she probably will. However you may be able to claim unreasonable behavious/adultery and hopefully that txt message (if you've kept it) may suffice as proof but if you lived together as man and wife properly for 6 months after it you may not be able to, unless you show that although you lived in the same house you werent sharing one life ie no washign of your clothes was done by her and vice versa abnd other things that might suggest yoyu were living as man and wife.
Hope this helps, don;t let her bring you down if you let her actions get to you you'll end up a shell of a person and that will mean she's won!
2007-08-22 06:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie Rainbow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, i bet you are really miserable, she is wrong to make you feel this way, if she really didnt want to be with you she should have just left you instead of this mental torment, it is cruel. i divorced my husband for unreasonable behaviour as he was violent and drank too much, but unreasonable behaviour covers mny things, i applied for divorce in the may and was finally divorced by december, so it didnt take too long. if you have a good reason, which i would say you have then they will agree to give you a divorce. also if she has been unfaithful you can divorce on those grounds but you have to have the other persons name, this goes on your divorce papers. find yourself a very good solicitor and start right away.
another thing if you are on a low income you should be eligible for legal aid, that is how i managed to get a divorce as i wasnt working at the time. good luck xxx
2007-08-22 07:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by Fran D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It took me 3 months for an uncontested divorce. The lawyer will ask you when is the last time the two of you had sex and that will begin the the first day of the 3 months. I'm sorry you had to go thru this. I think people who are like this are guilty of doing it themselves. I think she must be related to my ex husband.
2007-08-22 05:43:19 · answer #5 · answered by cathy h 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you obviously don't love her, because only the devil could love your wife.
Definitely get her out of your life, because that is not a relationship, especially when you're married.
File for divorce as soon as possible and enjoy life again. Good Luck
2007-08-22 05:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the UK you cannot get a divorce until you have been married 1 year. However, you can legally separate - you are being abused so you have grounds to divorce and therefore have grounds to leave the marriage.
Follow the advice here:
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/family/ending_a_marriage.htm
2007-08-22 05:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
PAUL - What on earth are you doing staying with someone like this. She is soul destroying you and tearing your confidence away. Why would you want to make love to
a person like this.
Tell her its over and you want out. I bet she thinks you will
never leave her.
You could carry on like this and have children together, binding you together forever. Forever is
a long time when you are with someone you don't love. It
sounds to me like you probably do love her, but are you
just staying with her in the hope she will change? You deserve someone to love you as you love them.
Be strong - move on, and live your life how you want it.
Worry about divorce after. Just move out NOW!!!
Wishing you all the luck in the world. Minxy.
2007-08-22 06:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by Minxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is a learning process. Try and state sane. If you don't have a lot of assetts or kids it should be easy. If councelling doesn't work, you might try a mediator and work things out between yourselves and keep the lawyers out of it. The faster you both agree, the faster you can each begin a new life. Learn from it...
2007-08-22 05:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by blueskys 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she has all these bad qualities then why did you marry her, did you not listen to friends and family. Marriage is too easy to get into and too hard to get out of. Don't have any kids with her or you'll be tied together forever - then she will rip you to pieces. If she wants to divorce after every argument then agree with her and get divorced.
2007-08-22 07:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋