How can you make your fiancee calm down when he is angry like anything.?

Question

even after knowing that its his mistake i go to say sorry. i dont know how i tend to do this mistake everytime. why i cant wait till he comes to me to say sorry for what he did. why it happens that i cant wait without talking to him.

Answer 1

maybe the wedding is freaking him out. try to figure out if this is his true personality of if its just his nerves going crazy.
once you find that out, you will know what to do..

Answer 2

take a big breath. walk away and remind yourself you arent giving him time to say it himself. he probably wont say it straight out but if he is sorry he will do something or say something that you know is the same thing. i dont know many people that can say sorry and mean it. approach him later with a different subject but find something witty to say that relates to what happened - he will know he has done the wrong thing and sometimes even the look on their face is enough!

Answer 3

You "can't wait" to apologize and "smooth things over" because you are constantly afraid that he will leave if you don't? Or maybe you do this because you can not stand it when he is mad at you? It is very natural really at this level of emotional attachment. When he is "mad" you feel he is rejecting you. You feel abandoned.
Next time...take a stand...just to see what happens. Would he really reject you? You should find this out now..instead of later.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a controlling jerk on your hands. You should not have to apologize for his mistakes, and he should not get so angry with you. Don't get married until this problem is settled, or you will end up very sorry. I should know--I did it!!!

Answer 5

I don't know... me and my husband will laugh at each other if one of us get's angry over something, especially if it's stupid. It makes you realize it's not that serious. We usually don't fight more than an hour or so, or it's over by the time we wake up.

Answer 6

Love easily conquers anger and that is what has so far going on between you. Keep going as you seem to be that sustaining girl who is always a winner.

Answer 7

Benzodiasapines (not sure how to spell it) are prescription anti anxiety pills...these include xanax, valium, klonipine, lorazepam... they should also make it difficult to get angry.... give him those or prescription opiates... if these are too hard to get try heroin... if that is also difficult try other non opiate pain killers like tramadol.... also marijuana could help... give it a try

Answer 8

mines like that. i find the more i try to justify or explain something, the angrier he gets. usually over something REALLY dumb. I ended up saying to him, (after 3 years of tiptoeing around im) bla bla, do you realise how badly you are acting? Now i just walk away and say 'dont speak to me unitil you are happy' and going to be nice to me. I can wait a week, i dont care. Ill move into mums. if i have to, i'll move out!. At first we'd (i'd) sulk for a few days. I gave him some time to think about his behaviour and amazingly he did. Now that he knows i wont tolerate it, he has a rant and suprisingly isnt far away with an apology. (it also depends how much he loves/respects you- you will soon get an idea) How you act after the apology is just as important. accept the apology, thank him in a stern, annoyed way. If you melt and fawn all over him, you just undo everything you just gained. He must know you wont tolerate being treated like that. With my experience i have found that arguments solve nothing. he doesnt listen cause hes so angry. So i go off, lock myself in my room and write him a rather curt letter.. This is how you make me feel when you do this, this is why i am angry, these are the things you need to think about, and these are the choices you can make IF YOU DONT LIKE IT. Whatever you write (i can be harsh, but i was totally prepared to take his bluff! I refuse to be treated like that) and wouldve been out the door if it continued. (i think he knew that too) ...he will read it. Hell probably read it a few times. Things will sink in and he can think about it a bit. (i found the notes not long ago. he still had them) But you have to distance yourself for at least a few hours for it to work. (hopefully he wont just go to the pub instead) Chances are, you will most likely get an apology, if not a reasonably calm discussion. But its totally up to your response and his nature. Ive only written 3 in15 years....and hes waved the white flag everytime. Its not aggressive anger, its frustration. Theres a big difference.. Aggressive? Get out
He knows he gets angry, he cant help it. His dad was the same and died of a stroke at the age of 45..(steam comes out his ears - he has NEVER hit/pushed me or said degrading/abusive things though) he says he needs to let off steam, and is usually over it quickly and back to normal,(even has the hide to want 'bonding' sessions!) I said i understand this, but i hold grudges, and when you speak to me like this, I remember for a long time, and i like you a little less everytime you do it. (this floored him...' how can you say that?' ) BECAUSE its true and its how you make me feel.) If you kicked your dog once a day, every day for long enough, you know that dog will bite you sooner or later..or run away.
15 years later, hes still the first to apologise, even when its my fault!!! but still has a volatile temper. If he orders a pizza, and some tomato falls on his shirt, he will be too angry to eat the pizza and throw the whole lot in the bin in disgust.... His loss. Hes the sucker that just spent $25 for it! He admits he needs anger management. His nickname in primary/high school was 'MENTAL' now I just ignore him, laugh/scoff and leave the room. It soon brings him back to earth. Just recently he found out i was going to hire a houseboat for us and about 10 mates for the weekend to celebrate his (suprise) 40th. Luckily, one of his dumb friends told him! He was ropeable! 'I told you i didnt want a party!, i made it quite clear i dont want anything...bla bla bla.... heres me about to spend $3000 on him and this is the reaction i get! Not to mention all the stress in organising it. At first i was stunned, silenced, felt guilty..... then i had a think about it and lost the plot. I called an ungrateful baastard. how about just saying 'thankyou dear for your effort and thought, but i dont want you to do it. $3000 is a lot of money i cant afford... he says he just wants a card... well guess what? his birthday is tomorrow and he will be EXTREMELY lucky to get that. And when he complains that i made no effort.......youd better knock me out. My stepmum has bought him a card and a bottle of $75 scotch. I know what his reaction will be..... DEAR! I TOLD YOU I DIDNT WANT ANYTHING!!! and make me feel like im a sneak! So i will say.. okay, (ill gently take the card and whiskey,) and say...i will give it back to Julie and tell her you arent impressed. ......10 mins later i will get an apology and be told to thank JUlie for her gift....
God.....its just too draining.
Stop saying sorry or you wont get anywhere.. The man may be the head of the house...but the woman is the neck. And she can turn him anyway she freakin wants to. You dont need to be a biitch, but you do need to stand up for yourself. If you cant do that? .... women are brilliant at subtlety and mind control...(not games) try a different tactic.
For the record, we broke up in 1999. after 5 years. Id had enough. hes definately changed, but not enough to keep me happy. Luckily we are still best friends, we do everything together, basically married. You can only change them so much.... but for now, the solution starts with you.

Answer 9

Put Valium in his milk. Kind of like the way the A-Team used to drug BA before they put him on a plane.

BA: "I aint gettin' on no plane fool!"
Murdoc: "Here BA have a glass of milk"
BA: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Answer 10

simple if its a girl then give a sweet simple look n rub her arms n make her feel comfortable with ur bass voice....n for guys...girls should act like a baby n start pampering n kiss him