My best mate (40yrs old) is going through hell, he has been living with a younger girl (25yrs old) and they have a baby girl she also has a 5 yrs old son who calls my mate dad, for some time Clair (his girlfriend) has been acting strange she has been up and down and can change like the wind, but a few days ago she said she was getting thoughts about abusing the kids and she said she had abused the baby, social services are now involved and she has beed taked to a mental health home, we are not sure what is going to happen everyone is telling my mate to leave her etc she was raped as a kid and I know what it is like to be depressed and in trouble but what she has done is unforgiveable I think he should leave her how could he ever trust her again, no one will accept her do you think I am right ?
2007-08-21 21:44:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
No I don't think you are right. If like me this girl say has bipolar disorder or something along them lines when having a baby it can trigger something off in our minds that makes us going all out of sink and the best place for her is the hospital right now but I promise that once things have got back to normal and she is on meds she should get better. yes he will have to watch over her but if he really cares he will stand by her through it all. the only time I would think of leaving is if one she sexually abused the kids or 2 I was going to loss my kids if I did not leave. take care and good luck to your mate
2007-08-24 14:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do think you're right. However, I am no psychiatrist. Your friend should fight for custody of their child and if the father isn't in the oldest childs life (and I'm guessing he's not being that the 5 year old calls your friend dad) then he should fight for her as well. The most important thing in that situation is the children. There's no telling if the oldest daughter hasn't suffered abuse and the mother just isn't saying anything. It will be a long hard road but it's better to get it over with now and start the process of healing before the children get any older. You have to keep in mind the mother has suffered as well through therapy she could change and maybe her claims about abusing the children was her way of crying for help. There's many ways to look at this situation maybe it's best to just be supportive of whatever your friend decides and let them work this out on their own. Best bet would be family therapy.
2007-08-21 22:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by Aj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend should stick with her and the kids. After all, you said she's the one who admitted what she'd done and about her thoughts, so she knows she has a problem. It would have been a completely different thing if your friend had walked into a room and seen her abusing the baby!
Your mate would be the best thing in helping her solve her problems (she obviously needs therapy) as having someone close who understands what you're going through and sticks by you would give her the strength she'll need. Also, the kids will need a strong figure they can trust in while their mum gets better. I understand you being worried about your friend and about the issues they might have, but if he hasn't left her yet he probably loves her very much. I'd suggest spending time with him and letting him talk about what he's feeling, without voicing judgements on his girlfriend.
I really hope Claire gets better and that your friend will be happy.
2007-08-21 22:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by wendy r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I haven't really had any experience in child abuse but from my point of view what your friends girlfriend is going through seems to be due to the fact that she was abused as a child, if she has been taken to a mental hospital then maybe they may be able to reach the source of the problem, and if this is the case and she is cured from her abnormal feelings then she should deserve another chance after all everybody deserves a second chance, that is the way I have been brought up but I was also brought up to be cautious and I think that if she does pull through and stops having these feelings I think your friend should be cautious and make sure these feelings don't re-emerge. However if she does not pull through and the feelings keep occuring then your friend should leave her for the sake of their child.
2007-08-21 21:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by hedley_2k7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When children are involved in a relationship, things get much more complicated, not to mention abused ones. With the help of whoever available, first thing to do is get the children out of the house and stay with grandma etc before something bad happen. Seek advise of psychiatrist and check her into hospital if required. I would not suggest your mate to leave her immediately cause that would be irresponsible and running away from problems will not solved the problems!!!! This may further stress her up to do more sillier things....Who says love is a bed of roses????
2007-08-21 22:34:43 · answer #5 · answered by GaryT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he should not leave her! She clearly needs help and asked him to get her that help because she loves and trusts him. He can trust her, because she asked for help when she knew things weren't right with her. It was unfortunate she had to hurt her baby before she realized it, but at least she did realize it before it got totally out of hand. Leaving her would be the most terrible thing he could do, especially for his baby. He needs to step up and take care of the kids (one of which he brought here), while she works through this. This could be something as conmmon as postpartum depression, and once her hormones stabalize after the baby, so will her moods and behaviors. Sounds like she will get the help she needs now. Having social services involved will be a mess to work through, but if he does the right thing and takes care of the kids while she gets treatment, it's probably all still fixable. As far as being accepted, that is her burden to bear. Some will because they understand. Others won't. But that's life.
2007-08-21 21:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by tushanna_m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didnt say what sort of abuse she did to the child. If she is getting thoughts of abusing them good for her for speaking up and getting help! Sounds like she may be going through PND - Post natal depression. If this is the case she can be helped with a psychologist and some medicine. If your mate really loves her then he should stand by her because she is obviously ill right now and needs all the help and support. Now if she sexually abused the child that is a completely different story and I would not suggest that your mate or the children stay with her. I guess it is difficult to say because we dont know all the facts.
2007-08-21 21:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by jodilynn0303 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend made a commitment to claire by having a baby and i think she really needs help now and your friend needs to stick by her, of course its unnaceptable that she abused her own baby but if shes in a mental health home now she's getting the help she needs so he shouuld in time be able to trust her agian, he cant turn his back now things have gotton difficult, she came clean about what shee had done so she knew it was wrong, your friend should not turn his back on this girl, not when they have a child together and you need to stick by your friend while he goes through this tough time
2007-08-21 21:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by mags_dbee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to think of the kids. She is obviously dangerous to them, and well as probably herself. If she gets proper mental treatment, she should be ok again, but until then he should probably support her, not leave her. That won't help anyone, and just make a broken home much worse.
Just make sure he knows what is going on to help, and he needs to speak to a doctor as well so he can know how to handle her and set boundaries for her seeing the kids for a long period of time ever again. If he wants to leave her, he will. If he doesn't want to, you need to support him, not tell him what to do.
Good luck.
2007-08-21 21:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by Bad Reesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she bipolar?
well in my appinion if shes been raped and abused as a child she may subcontiously believe her kids deserve the same treatment, she doesn't truely meen to harm the children if she confessed to doing it and wishes to get help so u should probably try to forgive her, dont forget were only human. and about ur friend staying with her that all depends if he realy loves her? and if all else fails he isnt gettin no younger! j.k. really tho sometimes in peoples lifes they go through crisits and cant deal with all the presure of todays world shes young, she adjusting, Try giving her a hand instead of a push! _missy
2007-08-21 22:48:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋