what do you do when you know your boyfriend is not treating you the way your suppose to be treated but you still want to stay with him because you feel like there's still something there.....
2007-08-21 17:59:08 · 28 answers · asked by lost in love . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are staying with him because you are attached to him and you keep hoping that it will go back to being the way it was before he treated you badly. And being alone after being in a relationship is a scary thing to face.. but once you have the strength to get out of a bad relationship life is pretty good and then you discover that there are more compatible people out there, and that fighting etc isn't "normal"
2007-08-21 18:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by neverdugdisco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The truth is part of the reason you're attracted to him IS because he's treating you badly. Counterintuitive? Hell yes, but thats the way we humans are. If you like the traits you see in him but don't like the fact that he takes it to the extent of not giving a **** about you or treating you badly or whatever it is, chances are you're going to have to put yourself first and either set down a firm ultimatum or (more likely) find someone else who'll treat you the way you should be treated and still have the self confidence to not be a puss (cause my guess is you're one of those girls who can't stand those wussy type guys). I can't tell you which route to take but I can tell you this: People don't change for anyone but themselves, so either deal with it or find someone else. I'd recommend the latter if you have the self confidence to go out there and just do it.
2007-08-22 01:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by flipsP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't realize that he's treating you bad so tell him how you feel about the way he's treating you. Sometimes when guys feel that the girl is head over heels in love with them they tend to not care about the way they treat the girls because they're so confident that you'll never leave them...but when they realize that they're losing you they'll go back to being the sweet guy...that is if he still wants to save your relationship. so...try to communicate with him. try to find out why he's doing that and stuff like that.
2007-08-22 01:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by Lost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't settle.. i almost did that. i was engaged to a guy that treated me like total crap.. people saw it and told me i was stupid. Yeah i had feelings for him still and always will.. just like you will for your bf.. but you just have to realize when it's time to move on.. and it seems like you've actually already realized that. Now.. i'm married to the most wonderful man i've ever met. He treats me like a queen, like every woman should be treated. but we have a 50/50 relationship which i never thought was possible either!! lol And he also found me... when i least expected it, but i just jumped on the chance to meet somebody knew because i love meeting new people. And look how it ended up! :) You can have it too!! Just enjoy being single while you are.. i was.. i was living it up! lol I could do whatever i wanted when i wanted to. And trust me.. you'll find Mr. Right when you least expect it :)
2007-08-22 01:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surveys say that most people (in the 80-90% range) will stay with someone they are not happy with (including abusive relationships), rather than be alone. The fear of being alone is just to overpowering. It's reasoned away with words like "There's something still there" or "He's only like that sometimes" or "I can tell he still loves me"... That's your reactive mind making excuses to justify the status quo... the fear of change, of being alone (even if only temporary), is quite powerful.
If you're not liking your current relationship, talk to him. Seek counseling if he's willing to go. try to fix it, but set an relationship goal. If he's not willing to meet it, find someone that will.
To ease the transition -- If you live to be 80, and you spend a year alone looking for the perfect match for you... 1 year out of 80 is like 1.2 %. You can wait 1% of your life to find something better!
2007-08-22 01:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by Larryboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "something" that is "there" in a deal like this
is YOUR blind ignorance to the fact that this guy will never be the "loving" person that you want and need !!
That is, unless you are the kind of person that is going to be satisfied with a life of "kissing bottom" while this guy treats you any dang way he feels !! If that is how you want to spend your life and time on this earth..... that's up to YOU !!
2007-08-22 01:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning your relationship, then that's your answer. If he's treating you so badly that you don't know whether to stay or not then that's a pretty good sign to leave. There may be "something there" for you, but not him, I mean if he's not willing to treat you right. You deserve someone that will be good to you and not make you question.l
2007-08-22 01:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by gotta luv me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not treating you well, loose him! You deserve better. Find someone who appreciates you and treats you right. If he treats you poorly now, he will only treat you worse as time passes. The more you allow him to treat you bad, the more he will continue treating you that way. Loose the looser.
2007-08-22 01:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by Carson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give them a couple days/weeks, if u still feel theres something there, then maybe there is. but im almost sure you won't feel theres still somthing there, if hes treating you wrong. if yuo dont feel like theres somehting there after a while, break it off. tell him if he loves you, then he should listen to you, and take what you are sayong to heart. then say : "why are treating me like this?" if he says what do you mean, give him a few examples. then say something like "its over if something doesnt change."
=] hope something works out!
2007-08-22 01:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by Makena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't it be better for you if you found someone that would treat you as you deserve to be treated? Sounds like you are either too comfortable being mistreated, or you are too insecure to have respect for yourself. Time to move on to someone that will love and respect you too!!
2007-08-22 01:04:41 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋