Redneck Application Joke?

Question

Redneck Driver's Application
Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.

Last name: ________________

First name:
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: __________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
If you obtained a higher education what was your
major?
[_] 5th grade [_] 6th grade

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you
are still slow lerrnin ? [_] Yes [_] No)

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom/outhouse
____ shed ____ pawnshop

Model and year of your pickup: _________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Bassmasters

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man [_] Skoal

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know

I live in texas so we really have lots of rednecks here. in fact... the people that live in front of us are true rednecks! They have cars on blocks, bad tans, always showing their buttcracks and sit outside in chairs sipping beers and the works! The funny thing is this is more of a middle class neighborhood with neat little houses and their house REALLY stands out especially on Christmas... with half their lights working.

Answer 1

It needs to have a question about the broken washing machine on the front porch, and whether they leave the christmas decorations up all year!

Answer 2

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the : United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off into Afghanistan and will be given only the following facts about the Taliban and terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3.. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday. Applications are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter I thought this was absolutely funny!

Answer 3

LOL! That's really funny! =P

I liked the question about education and bathing.

Good one!

Answer 4

It's even funnier since I'm from up North, but I live in South Carolina right now so I see A LOT of rednecks!!! But ya gotta love 'em!!! Thanks for that laugh!!

Answer 5

LoL! I like the question about bathing.

Answer 6

hi

Answer 7

Lol that's funny
But too long
i only got like half way. it went way too far and too long

Answer 8

hahah i kno a few and ur right on the money

Answer 9

all I have to do now is get a pencil and get'r done!

Answer 10

lol