Met this guy through a friend for a brief moment. We were both attracted to each other but nothing happened. He lives a few hours away. I was visiting a friend who lived with her boyfriend away from home and he stopped by the day I was there visiting. Four years later, haven't seen him since, our mutual friends plan their wedding and ask us both to be part of it and we both said yes. He asked my friend the bride to ask me to be his date, I said yes then a few days before the wedding he asks his friend the groom, if he can bring a date which then left me dateless. At the wedding I could tell he felt horrible for doing that and wants me to know that he likes me and has since he met me. He hasn't had a chance to apologize to me personally but he cowardly is doing it through the bride and groom for him. What should I do. I am attracted to him but don't think he deserves me after what he did. He hurt my feelings. (oh and his date was ugly- had to add that
2007-08-21 17:28:47 · 44 answers · asked by shortgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He doesn't even deserve the time it took for you to type out this question. You can do better.
2007-08-21 17:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that you're torn about what to do shows that you have some sort of attraction/feelings towards him still. I think what you need to do is get his phone number from your friend and call him up yourself. Put yourself out there and tell him exactly how he made you feel. Sometimes people do stupid things, and I believe that in this situation, he deserves a second chance IF he is willing to admit to you face-to-face that he was wrong by doing what he did.
I just want to give you a quick example of why I say a second chance may be needed in a case of his own stupidity:
When I met my fiance we hit it off and spent the whole night together. He was flirting with me, I was flirting with him. It was apparent that the two of us were extremely attracted to each other and that something was there between us. I e-mailed him later on that week, only to receive a phone call in which he told me he had given his ex-girlfriend another chance and that he was sorry. A few days later, he realized what an idiot he'd been and ended up apologizing and asked me out. We've been together 7 years now. One small case of stupidity may be all he was experiencing, but if I'd never given him that second chance....I would have never known what could have happened between us!
2007-08-21 17:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by truelovernr1122 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought you explained just fine.
I think if he liked you in the 1st place he would of never asked some other person to be his date. Unless he was nerves about hanging with you all night. Men can do some stupid things. But being a man takes saying sorry to you and not through somebody else. That's all you have is attraction for this guy and you already said he don't deserve you. So don't you think you answered your own question? So I would just drop the issue unless he has the balls to say it to your face. But whats the point right? You said you wasn't friends or anything. He's not asking you out. So I say move on...........
LOL! Are you sure she was ugly? Or was you just a bit pissed and jealous? JK!
2007-08-21 17:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by darlingnicky772 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't had a a chance to apologize?!?! Unless this just happened TODAY and/or he has take a vow of silence in a monastary then he has had plenty of time to apologize.
He didn't even have the courtesy to ask you himself and once he invited you 3rd hand he ditches you at the last minute - 3rd hand.
Sounds like a winner to me.
Not worth the amount of effort you have used up on him already.
Find a guy that treats you with respect.
If a guy is really into you - he makes the time.
2007-08-22 07:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by cav74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't still attracted to each other after 4 years I would say run away.
Considering that you are both still interested this is what I feel may have happened.
He may have thought about asking you to be his date for the wedding showed you that he was desperate and needed his friend to get him a date. Stupid but we are talking about a man and I don't think that men are stupid but I have 6 brothers and a husband and this behavior is normal.
Tell your friend to give him your phone number and if he calls you don't be mean just be honest with him. Let him know how what he did made you feel and then listen to what he has to say.
Take it from there. If this is supposed to be the person you are to be with it would be a shame to lose him for the sake of your pride.
2007-08-21 17:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His behavior sounds silly and immature. Do you want to be involved with a grown-up or a child?
As for forgiving him, did he do the things you are supposed to do when you want to be forgiven? Did he express regret? Did he accept responsibility? Did he attempt to make a repair of the damage he did? Talking to other people about it doesn't count. He didn't hurt the bride and groom. He hurt you.
I'd say just forget about him altogether. I don't even think you should accept his call if he makes one. (BIG IF!!)
2007-08-21 17:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by treebird 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an immature jerk and you don't need that kind of scum in your life. You have more value as a person then to be with, in any way, a boy (cuz he isn't a man) who wants to play yo-yo with you. Sounds like he wanted to have a "date" for the wedding, you were convenient, so he asked you to be his date through the bride (low class of him) and when someone else showed up in his life, he dumps you for her. Who needs that? Not you. Kick him to the curb and don't look back!
2007-08-21 17:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is SO confusing! So the bride and groom asked someone else to be their date?? I thought the bride and groom were each other's dates? Can you rephrase your question and cut down on your run along sentences?
2007-08-21 17:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by Butterfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Hun,
I have a friend that has been in the same shoes as you, so i think i can give you some advice?
From what you have wrote it seems that you have stronger feelings for him then he does for you. If he hasent taken the time to apologize to you for what he did,he truly isnt worth it. Until he does apologize to you and gives you a good enough reason i would start walking in another direction.
hope everything works out for you :)
2007-08-21 17:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone deserves a second chance and if you really like him and want to get to know him, then give him a chance. If after a few dates you decide he is not for you and he turns out to be a real jerk, then you can dump him via your friends the bride and groom and show him how it feels not to be straight forward. Good luck with whatever you decide and I wish you the best for your future and in love!
2007-08-21 17:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by gizmo2 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lol. Well first are you willing to have a long distance relationship? If not then I'd leave it. Has he said why he brought a date? If it was a misunderstanding and he thought you had said no or something then I'd forgive him. If he knew he'd asked you and then decided to bring someone else I'd forget him.
2007-08-21 17:46:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋