Why don't Baptists have sex?
Because it could lead to dancing! LOL
2007-08-21 17:01:06 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You people are not looking close enough.........!
2007-08-21 17:07:45 · update #1
Reminds me of this one:
Why don't Baptists have premarital sex?
Because it might lead to hand-holding.
This is a pretty funny one too:
How do you know that Adam was a Baptist?
Only a Baptist could stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit.
Here's one for everyone (almost):
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!
Mormons: Just one, after his wives have gotten on the school bus.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
2007-08-22 04:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Allow me to disabuse you of this strange notion that Baptists frown upon dancing. It simply isn't true - at least here in the UK. I was a member of a large Baptist church in England for over 5 years and I can assure you that they:
Enjoy sex (but only with their spouses)
Enjoy dancing (of the modest variety)
Wear makeup (the women, that is)
Have even been known to have a glass of two of wine
Love music and singing (we had a great church band and our minister, a Welshman, has been known to stop the congregation in mid-hymn and instruct them to start again but this time with gusto!)
And even appreciate culture and the arts (our minister was an accomplished musician and gave up a career as a pianist to serve God).
Don't know what it's like in the USA, though. Thanks for making me laugh, sweetheart - doesn't do for folks to take themselves too seriously (even Baptists)!
2007-08-22 04:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kind of funny- but no sex? How did so many of my friends get here-their Baptists! Isn't there like a joke and riddle board this should have been posted under, you really should have resisted! OH lol
2007-08-21 17:12:41 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was going to tell you "Because it could lead to dancing." but I see you know that already.
How many Baptist angels can dance on the head of a pin? NONE Baptist angels don't dance.
2007-08-22 01:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I really shouldn't answer this question. Apparently, it is offending some people. I don't really want to be a part of that.
I thought about it and I guess I wouldn't want someone joking about me not wanting to eat animals. :)
So, peace, love and happiness to Baptists the world over!
2007-08-21 17:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by NRPeace 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-13 03:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that Baptist have sex. I have some friends who are Baptist and they have kids.
2007-08-21 17:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by actstwo17 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck for me I'm not Baptists and I still have sex. wow.
2007-08-21 17:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kanes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And why dont baptist have sex,or is it just they may wait until marriage like the Bible says to do.
2007-08-21 17:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Silly...you asked a question, then you answered it. And I am quite sure Baptists do have sex. What a waste of your time and mine this question was...Peace and Blessings!
2007-08-21 17:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by Native Spirit 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋