i am his 5th wife. he is volatile, angry, moody, rigid, has told so many lies about his past that i can't even keep all the stories straight. he doesn't want sex or affection (and doesn't give it either). we have slept in separate beds for 6 months now, due to his snoring, lack of sexual desire, and flatulence (sorry). he has poor physical hygiene (maybe showers 1-2 times per week). he's a tyrant to live with, but has been very helpful to me and my son on a financial level...no i'm not a golddigger, and no amount of money is worth suffering miserably. i am headed for a divorce due mostly to his verbal and emotional abuse and alienation of affection. does anyone have any level of hope for his improvement? he's 65 and takes seroquel and lamictal...can't take lithium, already tried that. help!
2007-08-21 16:48:29 · 10 answers · asked by diamond heart 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Im bipolar. I've been for about a year. Its so hard. Its so very hard. But being bipolar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It is absolutely horrible. If you think you've got it tough, imagine your mind literally trying to kill you. I've had friends ditch me, family tell me they hate me. I lost my life. I cut, drank, attempted suicide, stopped eating, slept all day, got into smoking, drugs, didnt go to school. Can you imagine this life?
If it wasn't for my parents i wouldn't be alive. So ****, if you think your life is ****, imagine being bipolar. Everyone thinks we make it up, for attention. There is hope. There always is hope, unless he commits suicide, but there's prevention. Keep helping him, seek supports, support books, groups, hospitalization. There's not cost for a human life. I'm 17 and i know all of this already. I've been on the dark/light side of life. Its hard to imagine what bipolar is...but take it from me....ITS HELL!
2007-08-21 17:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jannie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying, for example, is not a symptom of bipolar disorder. Mental illness is not an excuse for lack of character. I feel that I can say that without being judgmental because I am bipolar. I know that I am difficult to live with when I am in a depressive episode, but I still know that it is my responsibility to tell the truth.
The lack of sexual desire and poor hygiene, however, could easily be a symptom of a depressive episode and are likely even more frustrating for your husband than for you.
It is a complicated situation. Your husband does not want to be bipolar, and with treatment, the situation may improve. However, you have to decide whether you love him enough to support him or if it is more healthy for you to be on your own. Only you can make that decision.
2007-08-21 17:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, as long as you are staying, you are enabling him and allowing him to continue in this manner. Go to a safe shelter or call the crisis line. You need help and you will need it if you leave him. You need to become strong enough to walk away from him. You cannot help him, he knows your weak points. There is a cycle of abuse that you will notice; he gets really angry, he hurts you, he apologizes and is so sweet, he convinces himself that it wasn't as bad as all that or that you were at fault and he minimizes your pain. He starts to creep back into his old habits and he begins that upward climb to volatility, he breaks (because you bring it on, knowing that he will anyway and it is better to have him blow small than big or he just blows when he has fully built up and you bear the brunt.) Thus the circle begins and continues.
You have to know that the cycle continues with or without you. You cannot save a person who is unwilling to change. It will continue without you. You have to seek help or the next relationship you have will be similar or worse. You have to find out why you cling to such a damaging relationship and what you can do to change from being a target to being a self-aware individual with self confidence.
Please, find it in your heart for your own sanity, to go and help yourself because he will not change.
Melody Beattie's books are an invaluable resource, Co-dependent No More and Beyond Co-dependency.
Bear in mind this one thing; He has allowed a reason to become an excuse.
2007-08-21 17:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For any mentally cognizant person suicide would result in that person going to Hell. Suicide is someone giving up on life, and that giving up on life proves that person does not have faith in Christ, and faith is required for salvation.The Bible doesn't specifically say what happens to mentally disabled people, but the Bible is clear that infants and young children goto Heaven when they die. The reason for this can only be assumed to be that they do not yet have the mental cognizance to make a choice of accept or rejecting God. This would, in all likelihood, apply to some people with mental disorders. Whether or not this applies to your Husband, I don't know. I do not know your husband, nor do I know to what extent Bipolar Disorder affects the brain, so I couldn't say whether or not he was responsible for his suicide. The only real answer I can give you is if it seems he believed in Christ and was trying his best to do what was right, but that he was just not capable of fully understanding what he was doing when he committed suicide due to his mental illness, then he is Heaven. If you think he understood what he was doing when he committed suicide and that he committed suicide because he was giving up on life then he is in Hell.
2016-05-19 05:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got 2 things going on here. Can you get him back to the dr. to re-evaluate his meds? It could be those need to be changed. IF he refuses to go, maybe you can call the dr. with your concerns. If he's any good, your DH will never know you were the one who called first. The other thing is, he sounds depressed, which, if he's on mood stabilizers, he shouldn't be. That could be the cause of his poor hygiene, lack of desire, etc..
You don't have to put up with the abuse. Unfortunately, at his age it doesn't sound like he'd be willing to change.
I have a bipolar son, I understand what you're going thru.
Best of luck to you
2007-08-21 17:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Dawn C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also bipolar. I honestly can't say one single thing that will work to make things better. Possibly counseling. As hard as it is for you it's probably 50 times harder for him (at least that's how it is between my husband and I). I realize I am making bad decisions but I just can't stop.
2007-08-21 23:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by any-e-way 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is bipolar then he is definitely not himself and those behaviors stem from the disease. See if you can visit a doctor or a psychologist that will give him some effective medication to control his bipolar disorder
2007-08-21 16:56:47 · answer #7 · answered by HeavenlyBliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
65? Bipolar? High strung and prone to fits of temper?
I give him 5 years. Your call.
2007-08-21 16:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Harry Bastid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL BIPOLAR DISORDER: A PAIN TO TO DEAL WITH AND HE IS JUST PLAIN MEAN TOO. I HONESTLY THINKS HE IS PUSHING PEOPLE A WAY ON PURPOSE. HE IS GETTING TOO OLD TO CARE ANYMORE. HE ISNT SUICIDAL RIGHT? WELLBUTRIN XL IS SO MUCH BETTER. BUT I GUESS HIS ATTITUDE IS UNBEARABLE ALREADY. HE HAS TO WANT TO HOPE FOR HIMSELF. YOU LEAVE IF YOU MUST.
2007-08-21 16:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by roughdelicate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope theres not help for him.. sorry
2007-08-21 16:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by preciouschynadoll2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋