How can this be resolved?

Question

I don't know if I'm out of bounds, or what.

Basically for the last seven years, every weekend, my family piles in our little car and goes to a little shack in the woods in a 'town' that's actually a road. My sister and I -both 15- hate it, my dad is apathetic, only my mom wants to do it.

Translated in to a teenager's perspective, I don't have Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or a lot of Monday to do anything. I don't object to spending time with my family but it's starting to negatively impact my social life, I'm only free when nobody else is. My parents are also getting on me for not spending enough time on schoolwork, but I only have three or four days during a normal week to do anything, the rest is spent either in transit or sleep deprived from showing up late.

My mom needs the break, I know, and she's not staying consistent. First she says she doesn't care, she'll go alone. Then she complains that she's going to be the only one up there. I don't know what to do.

The only kid around is a neighbor, with OCD and very mild autism. It's really impossible to spend time with him.

The house isn't anything great either, it's in crap shape, there's no storage and my room has all the bugs from the rest of the house. I'm clean, it's the room that sucks. I'm just saying that so it's not like I'm complaining about going somewhere awesome every weekend.

It seems like either way someone loses.

If we keep going my mom is happy, my sister and I aren't.

If we go less frequently, my mom isn't happy, meaning my sister and I end up bogged down by how pissed she is.

What can be done?

To J.M.C: I'm planning on doing that...can't yet though.

Revsuzanne, wtf are you talking about?

A side effect of the lack of free time is that the only friend I have is my boyfriend, who is awkward around my family in that situation and my sister has a crush on him.

Plus then when we're up there we can't do anything, my parents are sleeping.

Answer 1

Sounds like if everything doesnt revolve around your mother then she makes everyone else miserable. Id say go sometimes and other times do what you need to do for yourself, Quit catering to her every time. Shes an adult and she will get over it.

Answer 2

Have you sat down with you mom and explained that while you don't love the shack, you love to spend time with her? Let her know that you can spend time together in your regular home on the weekend. Even maybe going shopping with your friends, so she can get to know them.

I think your mom is just rejecting that you are maturing. It's hard for a parent to know that they are losing their children in just a few short years. She is trying to hang on to you for as long as she can. Offer to go with her once a month, and ask her to spend one weekend at home a month so that you all can do things together. That leaves you 1/2 month with family, and 1/2 month with friends.

Communications is key. Let her know you love her, but you really need some time to grow and mature.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

that's a bit much, every weekend. maybe you and sis., can talk to dad about going somewhere else on the weekends. or tell dad to bring up about spending a day (saturday) out w/the family, so everyone gets what they want. put choices in a hat and everyone pick. mom need to understand it's family time and not just hers. hope one of my ideas work, but you have to let dad control this. good luck

Answer 4

Compromise, say that you will go only go every second or third week, tell them that you want to hang out with friends and catch up with homework, and that is important to you. Its not fair that you are tired or sleep deprieved because of it, and you need to tell your parents that going away every weekend is really taking a toll on you and your school work.
You just need to be honest, I know its hard, but just talk to them and tell them how you feel.
Good luck

Answer 5

tell your mom that though she needs her relaxation, maybe it would be better if she "relaxed'' alone....or even with her family around the fire at ur house. forcing ur family to go out of town with you EVERY SINGLE weekend is actually ridiculous. its called having a social life! you need time to be a teenager, and ur mom needs to realize that. she might be stressed out, but why can't she go to a spa or something....get a pedicure....or spend the weekend at home lounging around? she's just being selfish. she needs to realize that you have a life too, and everything is not about her.

Answer 6

I think you are needing family counseling in a big way. This is making your lives miserable.
You need time to study. Your mom needs a break.
Time to break this bad habit. It is technically abuse.
If you and your mom can't get it across to dad directly, just pull a dissappearing act when he usually leaves.
You can go stay with friends.
Go visit relatives or check into a hotel.

Answer 7

sweetie, you just gotta tell mama the truth. your right about your social life. bit the best thing i believe is balance. i wish i could teach some of me cousins balance. its like some i see every day, and others i never see at all. but that shack doesnt sound like any fun. and it sounds like shes the only one who wants to go. thats not fair. you seriously need to talk to her, or she will just have to go alone, maybe with her chums

Answer 8

Talk to your mom and be honest about what you would like to do with your time. I bet she will greatly appreciate your honesty and be happy to work with you. I am sure your happiness is of great importance to her.

Answer 9

you need to join the peace corps

Answer 10

Ask if you can take a friend or two with you...