She wants to do whatever she wants, and she's mean to me.
Calls her Dad and complans about me and her friends parents.
It's hard to explain
2007-08-21 15:48:57 · 12 answers · asked by lorre 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she is only doing what you are allowing her to do.
get off your *** and demand that she act according to the rules you lay down.
if she continues to do what ever she wants start taking her things away. you control the air she breathes...
oops, no going out, no one over, no phone, no money, no tv. no play station, no radio, etc etc etc. she will get the hint in one flat hurry!!!
2007-08-21 15:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you already know what everyone here has told you, but for some reason you can't seem to enforce the power that you have. Its either because you fear that if you put your foot down, your daughter will hate you & move further away from you or that you just don't care enough to do whatever it takes. But you have to remember that you are indeed a powerful woman & mother, capable of bringing up her daughter to be a woman with good character & values. Its a situation where you have to tke the bull by the horn, & you have to be a deaf bull as well, because whatever strategy you choose, you will be discouraged & criticized. But its your daughter, not theirs. She is a teenager, I've been there, you've been there. At this point you want to control your own life & the last thing you want is a nagging parent who speaks to you like you're a baby. What she needs at this point is a mother who speaks to her like a woman, who she can speak to about anything & everything. COMMUNICATION is the KEY! But at the same time, what you say MUST go, don't let it get to you when she gets angry & says nasty things to you, COMMAND your respect & soon enogh she'll get it. She lives under your roof, you pay the bills, speak to your husband..... He should agree with you at all times, because if he's not standing there by your side when you make a decision. Your fighting a loosing battle..... GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-21 23:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by Lue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you need to remember is that you are the parent. You should not try to be her friend at this point in her life - so be it if she is mean to you, as long as she is not allowed to be disrespectful. Have a conversation with her, come up with a set of rules that are reasonable enough for her to have some freedom and then stick with them. As she earns your trust, she can earn the right to more freedom. Make sure you know her friends and her friends' parents. Be actively involved whether she likes it or not. Talk with her father and make sure you guys are on the same page when it comes to discipline. If you cannot be, then set your rules and don't worry about what dad is doing. Kids want guidelines and she will ultimately end up respecting the one who gives her the most. Wait it out - it will be worth it!!
2007-08-21 23:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by ragann63 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not hard to understand when you've been on the receiving end of this kind of behavior. Actually, rebellion is so common at this age. Kids this age are trying to separate from their parents. They do whatever they can to drive you crazy. The "you're not the boss of me" attitude can completely drive you crazy.
My suggestion is to start to treat her as an adult. I know that sounds crazy, but once they realize how hard it is, they usually back down. For instance, my daughter would complain about her clothes, and always wanted new ones. I gave her an allowance, but if she wanted more $, she had to earn it. Later, when she wanted a car, I bought it for her, but she had to keep insurance on it, and pay for the gas. She got a job, and learned some responsibility before she moved out of my house.
Don't fall into wanting to be the "cool" parent. You are her mother. Later, when she is much older, and has children of her own, she'll thank you.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-08-21 23:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same to my mom. Stick in there. We ot through it. A lot of tears, broken tings, police contacts and weeks on end at friends houses but We made it and are close today! I am now 17 and 14 is exactly when it began by th time I was 16 onthat birthday we were great! I'm not sure how soon before but it wasnt fr! So 1 year and a half of hell! SRY at least its sooner that later!
2007-08-21 22:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by libragirl_89@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a 14 year old whose mom is driving me crazy, I'd like to tackle this problem. I don't know too much about the situation, but often my friends and I get annoyed with our parents and just want to do what we want. Truthfully, the best way to try to work it out is to calmly talk to her- not on the spot, but a couple of days after she did something that upset you. Of course, you are the parent so you decide punishments, but you may want to start out talking to her without threats and just say how this is a problem. I always wish my mom would talk to me instead of yelling and punishing me. About the problem with her calling her dad, that might be something to talk to her about as well. Tell her that instead of calling her Dad to complain, that she could try talkig to you if she has any problems.
If she is mean to you then a punishment is the best way to go, but you can start by just talking to her so she realizes the problem.
2007-08-21 23:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is typical behavior. She probably could use some counselling, but aside from that, keep talking to her and tell her you love her. Ask her why she is doing that, and tell her that you'll go to a therapist with her, and that you want a loving relationship with her. Also, if you are divorced, think of the effect it may have had on her.
2007-08-21 23:00:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter and you need to agree on some ground rules. You need to strike the perfect balance. But remember, she's a teenager with hormones, this is how teenagers think!
2007-08-21 23:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by amal s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 14... and i probably drive my mother crazy as well... but she's so overprotective.. for example i'm not allowed to go shopping with my friends alone!!!!!! it's crazy... so we tend to be mean sometimes.. we don't always mean what we say..we DO..but sometimes it's just out of anger... don't take it too hard... but don't be overprotective.... because if you are that's why she's mean.. (weren't you a bit liek that when you were 14)
but if she is extremely bad..then you can deal with it by punishing her.. but..it's just as hard for her,as it is for you
hth
2007-08-21 23:46:10 · answer #9 · answered by I'm insane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes 14 and shes trying to see what she can get away with. shes normal, just let her know you are the parent and dont let her walk on you
2007-08-21 23:29:49 · answer #10 · answered by maree2007hamill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋