For the Religious & Atheists - Do Your Children Have A Choice?

Question

My husband and I don't believe in a God.
Our 8yr old does believe in God, though it's worth noting he remains steadfast in his belief that Spiderman is for real too.

We have in-depth conversations about religion and I have never claimed to know anything for certain, so I leave the door open for him to think and ultimately make his own decisions.

Do you teach your children your beliefs and what other people believe?
Do you expect your children to go to your church?
Does your child really have a choice?

I'm so thrilled with all the answers, even those I don't agree with. This is R&S at it's best.
Cheers!

Answer 1

I was raised a Methodist until the age of six. My father stopped taking us to church, as he'd done it only to appease my grandmother. He was an atheist. I was raised without religion, and searched on my own for a spiritual life.

I thought I was an atheist, but lately have realized I'm an agnostic atheist, not having a belief in God, but not claiming to know whether or not there actually is one. I avoid taking a position on that subject or discussing it with others. However, I am a spiritual person, and would like to believe that some unseen part of us exists beyond death, with neither punishment nor paradise involved, but possibly a passing on or moving forward to another sphere of existence.

That said, my youngest son, aged 10, believes in heaven and God. He believes we'll all be together after we die, and that he'll see his grandmother, his aunt, and all of the rest of us should we die in the near future. I believe this gives him comfort when faced with the permanence of death, as he is aware that every living thing eventually dies. I will not ever disabuse him of his hope that we never lose the ones we love, even after death.

He occasionally goes to a pentecostal church with a friend of his. His father sometimes takes him to a nondenominational church. I don't go to church. Like you, I leave the door open for my son with nonjudgmental discussions about different religions, at this point mainly attempting to answer his questions and let him think for himself.

Answer 2

My son is 12 now, so he may indeed change paths, as he is old enough and understands what he is doing. So far I have not heard him talk about it.
I did not place being RC the end all be all of being a human, so far he enjoys his religious life, and may for years. We focus on festivals and special masses, being with family and friends.
No fire and brimestone.
Of course after he enters university and meets people and different ideas I will see, ya know.
Adults do the darnedest things.

"Do you teach your children your beliefs and what other people believe?" - Yes.
"Do you expect your children to go to your church?" - Well we never made it a terrible occasion. We meet friends and talk, rarely about religion, mostly chit chat. Family tradition is important. (I only see my son at Christmas - so mass is interesting.)
"Does your child really have a choice?" - No he doesn't. Not yet. After he enters university he has his whole life to choose a path. My role is to furnish a solid foundation so he can make informed choices.

Answer 3

I have interesting conversations with my 6 year old daughter about religion. I am raising her as a pantheist. We do not go to church. We go to the mountains or the desert, wilderness is our "church".

When she hears others beliefs we talk about it. (She has some pretty funny arguments with her Mormon friends which bring up some interesting topics of conversation.).

I don't think I can push my beliefs on her. My dad did that and it didn't make me a Catholic. I open the door to all discussions, sacred or profane (that my Dad would NOT do). I don't know what will become of her but I raise her the only way I know how.

One funny thing which might be telling, I've been honest with her about Santa Clause from the beginning. She does not believe me, "Santa Claus is real!"

Answer 4

My daughter is three. No she doesn't have a choice...when we go to church, she goes. Right now I teach her what I believe and what the Bible says, however when she gets older she will have to stand before God on her own so all I can do is my best to prepare her for that meeting. My parents made sure that I was taught creation as well as evolution...I was also taught about many different denominations and what they believe and what the Bible says about all of it. I don't know of anyone that takes this responsibility as seriously as I do. I know that she will have to make her own choice but I want to be sure that I do EVERYTHING within my power to make sure that she is well educated so I can hear my God say to me on that day, "Well done good and faithful servant."

Answer 5

Everyone must make their own choice in Christianity. I like to say there are no grandchildren in the Kingdom of God. Everyone must make their own choice, you don't get a "pass" because your family has a pew or donated a stained glass window.

That is not true for all religions, some even baptize the dead who can't make a decision for them selves but certainly, of so thinks that group, would have chosen to believe this way.

I commend you for your openness, I find it troublesome when parents say they will let their children decide but then direct them away from any opportunities to experience what their choices are until they grow to believe there are no choices and so choose nothing.

Answer 6

As small children I exposed my girls to many spiritual paths so that they would not become bullheaded, no-one is right but me fanatics in their religion of choice. They know my feelings and how other faiths believe and they are free to make up their own minds. I wish I had been given this option as a young adult. I lived in a time & place where they literally beat the fear of "god" into you.

Answer 7

I was forced to go to church as a teenager and would not do that to my children. When I grew up a little, I did some soul-searching and found that Christianity is the right path for me. As a Christian, I try to instill my beliefs in my children. However, according to my beliefs, just being my child isn't a ticket into heaven. My children will reach an age where they have to make that decision for themselves. When that time comes, I will allow them to do so. I do try to answer what questions I can about other religions as they come up. My finacee is agnostic, and while I am not trying to convert him, we do have discussions about the subject.

Answer 8

In order to attain oneness, we must all be on the same page. Children are like bonfires of trust, as opposed to the guttering flames of adults. Protect the fire within. If we all advance forward together, upholding purity and honour, there is no limit to what the human race can achieve. I wish I could teach my children my true heart's wish, but alas, I fail miserably.

Answer 9

I don't know how religious I really am, but I do go to church and believe in God, but I don't know everything so I would let my child make their choice, sometimes children make better choices than adults and if my child chooses to believe in something else, then I would support them

Answer 10

I would just let him believe whatever religion he wants but the spiderman thing he is still young so he will probabally grow out of that.
The reason I say that is because I dont believe in god but my mom does and she always tries to get me to believe in god but it always just start fights :(

P.S I would give him till 9 maybe10 on the spiderman thing then you should maybe do something

just my thoughts though hope it helped