should we get a house or pay for the wedding first?

Question

I've been stressing about money lately I want my deam wedding and me and my to be found a really great place called medaowbrook hall in rochester mi. only problem is we are trying to find a house too, lately ive been thinking that we should just push the wedding back untill we get a house. But Im also christain and have doubts about mivin in together before we are married, so why get a house. all together we have enough to make a down payment on a house right now. Should we go for a house or the wedding first all help and comments are welcome. I need help

i thank you for all your help and ive thought alot over here are some of the little snags, je doesnt want to rent and even though i understan why i think it would be a good idea. I think i know what i want to do already but its always nice to have others advise. personally i think that we should just clear out his parents basement and live down there for a while he wasnt so in to that. lol.

Answer 1

Even though we all dream of our princesslike wedding day, the money would really be better spent on a house! That house is your future.

If you have trepidations about moving in before marriage, a solution would be to elope, buy your house and have a big fancy reception on your first anniversary. That way you can still have your special day and your house!

Good luck!

Answer 2

The Important thing is your relationship and your future together, not having a big party.

My suggestion is: Get married with a very simple, affordable wedding, such as a ceremony, then a cake and punch reception. I understand your desire for a big lavish wedding, but it is unnecessary...especially when you have the money to buy a house.

Consider what is more important: a 5 hour party, or a house for the rest of your life? After your wedding, those thousands of dollars are GONE...and they will NOT come back. If you put the same money into a house, the house value increases over time, becoming a secure investment for you, your husband and your future children.

If you have a small, simple wedding now, you can then buy your house together without feeling like you are "living in sin"....and at your 5 year anniversary, you can do a vow renewal with an Anniversary party. Hopefully after 5 years you two will be more financially stable and established...so, while you can't have the big wedding at that time, you CAN have a big party to celebrate your love, with your family and friends.

~Kat

Answer 3

Everyone is saying house first and yes that is the way we have done it...but just think about this first. If you want a big dream wedding you will never have it if you are paying off a house. There is always other priorities and bills to be paid.
My advice would be to marry now while you are still in a postition to marry, but dont go overboard with it. Keep as much money as you can to go towards the house payment.
That way you will be married and have some over.....
We have the house, live together, have been in it for just over a year and it will be 2 years that we have lived here before our wedding date, on the 6th of July next year. We are having our wedding in our home. I am putting away money every week for our big day.
Good luck with it

Answer 4

Um, you don't want to live in your in laws basement--trust me on this one.

You need to talk this over with your fiance, a bunch of strangers on the internet are not going to be able to help you. We don't have the same goals as you, or the same values. Each one of us would simply tell you what we would do in your situation. But none of us are you, and you're not one of us, so it's pretty worthless.

Sit down with your hubby to be, and discuss what your financial goals are as a family. There's almost always a way to compromise as well, so that both people can get what they want. Maybe look for a house that's less expensive, or find a mortgage that doesn't require as high a down payment. Keep the wedding small and intimate, inviting only closest friends and family. I'm sure if you look at your finances closely, this doesn't have to be an either/or situation, I'm sure you can figure out how to buy your first home, and have a nice wedding.

added: MJ made an excellent point--I'm not sure I'd want to be buying a home right now anyway--the market is just too shaky. Unless you absolutely have to, AND know you're not going to be moving in a few years, you might financially be better off renting for the time being.

Answer 5

I would get the house. It is a long term investment while a wedding is only for 24 hours...even a dream one. You think you need a big white wedding to be happy with your husband but that is the brainwashing they give girls talking. People who have courthouse weddings are just as married as those who spend thousands.

Now, I'm not saying that you need to have a quickie courthouse wedding. As a christian you certinaly deserve a church wedding that you can be happy with later in life. But think of this way, instead of renting this hall who will only let you have it for a few hours....how cool would it be to purchase the house, have the reception there! You can use any vendor you want which saves thousands, you can have the party last as long as you want. If you have the wedding before you move in you can even start to decorate the house weeks in advance instead of stressing at the last minute and then worrying about who is going to clean up that day. And you get to brag to family and freinds that you are one of the few lucky newlyweds who OWN THEIR RECEPTION LOCATION! Not to mention you can relive memories of that wonderful day surronded by the memories of the best house-warming party ever.

If you find later you truly regret not going all out have a big vow renewal on the 5th or 10th anniversary....you will have the best of both worlds. A great home and a nice wedding. Honestly though, the majority of the time it's brides who regret spending so much on the wedding instead of investing to make the actual marriage easier--not the other way around.

Answer 6

Don't try to get a house and have a wedding at the same time. My husband and I closed on our house 1 month before our wedding, and it is very stressful.

If you found a great apartment, and are willing to live there for a year or two,you can start saving a bigger down payment. Also, you can use the first year or two of your marriage to start saving up to furnish this new house. Especially in today's volatile housing market.

But don't go using all the money you had saved for a downpayment on a wedding either. Your wedding is only one night - granted it should be the only one you have. Make a few sacrifices on what you want, and still have a lovely wedding and keep that savings going too.

Answer 7

While renting may seem like a great idea, you'll actually end up throwing more money away doing that than you would if you purchase something. While it may be cheaper in the long run, buying a home is a great investment and should definitely be given serious consideration. I would recommend going for the house first and pushing the wedding back. There is no reason to go in debt for the wedding and not have something you both own together - like the home.

Answer 8

So have a cheap wedding. Then you'll be able to pay a down payment on a house. Have a huge party later. It doesn't matter that it's 2007. You know what's right. For those that endorse shacking, I had a cheap wedding, never shacked, and have been married 5 years. You don't need to shack up to get to know a person.

Anyway, there are many one here who got the house first, only to break up, and in quite a quandry. They had ideas of getting married, only for them to fall thru. No legal leg to stand on.

Something else you can do is get yourself a cheap mobile home. Move in there once you get married. There are many nice cheap ones for just a few thousand dollars. Then all you'll need to pay is lot rent, and a couple other bills. Many times water is included in the lot rent. Many of those owners will take a down payment of 1,000-2,000 and let you make payments for a few months, then you can start saving for an even bigger down payment on a real home, or you can move the mobile home, build onto it once it's on your own land, and it will be like having a big house once you've built onto it.

Answer 9

It takes money to make money. Period. You have friends when you have money, once the money is gone so are the so called friends. So why put money into something your not going to get any return. Who wouldn't like a wedding of a life time. The money you invest now will be so much more value down the road and live much more of a great lifestyle, than that one day of a party. Hold your hands out look at each one, nice wedding for one day or invest money, live on a budget for a period of time then live a great life style for the rest of your life. Your life, your choice. I been rich and I been poor, very poor. Being poor trying to come up again is very hard. So I have the experience first hand. If you have some money now make good use of it. Once its gone then its all about struggling to get back what you had. If struggle to double or triple what you start with is so much easier than starting with nothing to get what you spent on a wedding. Good luck.

Answer 10

Maybe do both. Lower the budget you have for your wedding so you can allocate that money into the house.

I would read "5,000 ways to have a wedding on a budget". It basically gives great ideas on how to still have very elegant wedding designs but have money for other things as well.

I would suggest that even after lowering the budget, take care in determining whether or not you will be able to afford a house. Have you considered asking your parents and his to help pay? Maybe do something like where you ask them to contribute 1/ 4 each and you and your fiance can do the rest.