My anxiety is unstoppable, why does it have to make me crazy?

Question

In the absence of evidence, I can usually divine a reason which is decidedly negative. In the last few weeks:

1)
I started a new job. I thought things were going well. We even going out to lunch together in my first week. Later, I noticed they were going without asking me. Of course, I will say nothing, because the anxiety will only get worse.

2)
On Friday, I called about an apartment. I talked to the husband. I thought it well talking about the apartment in general, he asked for my # and said his wife would call me back. I didn't hear anything, so I called back Monday. The machine answered, I left a message. Nobody ever called me back. Why would they reject me before I got started?

There may be innocent reasons for what I describe, but it sure looks like rejection to me. Anxiety is the gift that keeps on giving.

Answer 1

I have both social anxiety disorder and a generalized anxiety disorder. I too get stuck in the way I perceive a situation, endlessly replaying an interaction in my head and trashing myself for my mistakes. If I had just started a new job and was looking for an apartment, it would be worse.

So, try turning these situations around. Maybe your fellow workers are waiting to see if you are interested in joining them, which means you have to get up the courage to ask. Maybe the apartment already got sold, so no need to return your calls, so time to look for another one. I ended up seeing a therapist who helps me through this process of dealing with life's situations.

Answer 2

You have good reason to feel anxious because you're making some major life changes and that will naturally lead to anxiety. Your role is to learn to deal with it.

If there's one other person in your office you seemed to connect with, approach that person and let him/her know you'd like to go to lunch with all of them when they go. People get into a routine and after the first week I'm betting they expect you to just get up and go with them without a special invitation.

As for the apartment, you can't control what other people do or think. All you can control is how you react to the situation. Perhaps his wife rented it out to someone already and doesn't see a need to call you. Perhaps they had an emergency and the apartment isn't a priority right now. Perhaps they had someone else in mind and aren't courteous enough to call you back. Maybe you don't want to rent from people who don't seem reliable.

Take life one day at a time. Don't take everything so personally. Believe it or not, the world does not revolve around you, and I say that sincerely and kindly. Do what you need to do such as look for another apartment, etc.. Depend on yourself, not on others, for validation. It sounds like you're doing all you need to do to have a good life. Congratulations on your new job and your own apartment. :)

Answer 3

You man is, anxious about anxiousness first. Stop that. I have suffered a lot when left alone in diseases but never was anxious. Because I know that would hurt more than the disease itself.

Life is just like a river. Somewhere, there are dams (feelings, emotions) that checks the flow of life in one stream. Just relax a bit man. You are not simply anxious but bit sensitive to responses and non-responses.

May be the owner of the house got another person called him before you called him. May be the other person was undecided at the time you called and therefore, he could not let you know his position immediately. Therefore, there can be numerous reasons. Being anxious consumes your energy and weakens your nerves. Instead use that energy to find out another suitable place. That is now better utilized for your own betterment. OR may be just he simply forgot.

Anxiousness stems from fear of loss. Fear of loss can be many type. 1. Attachment to personal benefits while we are unfit to receive certain things, 2. Attachment to people around and expectations sorrounding this attachment, 3. High hopes and less qualifications, 4. Being in power, fame, popularity and so on, and last very important thing 5. Forgetfulness.

Aren't you bothered about one or more of these? That is just diagnosis not the cure. Take care of yourself by not being anxious, it might result in blood pressure raising up and damaging your health.

Take care of your feelings and emotions. Probably you are just forgetful as well. Try to be normal and think others as normal people who can be forgetful, as the one you stated above.

Answer 4

Yeah I know how that feels!!! My anxiety is so bad that it has stopped me from eating more than about 2 crackers a day for months at a time!!! What I usually do is if my anxiety starts to act up then I just start thinking about the best things possible, I mean that doesn't just magically fix everything but it does make a world of difference.

Answer 5

I have thoughts like this a lot of the time. On good days, I can usually shrug off my paranoia. I think it's too early to tell about the apartment. They may just be busy. As for the work/lunch thing, maybe they think you don't want to go. Have you asked them out to lunch? Maybe they're waiting for an invite from you. It's easy to think that the world is against when you suffer from anxiety or depression. We tend to blow things out of proportion that other people would just shrug off. I know this sounds weird but when I feel anxious or depressed, I force myself to smile and be friendly (even if I don't initially feel like doing it) and most people respond to that. Try it and if someone doesn't respond then you probably don't want to hang out with them anyway :) I hope this helps!

Answer 6

OK, you need to stop taking things so PERSONALLY.
The way the world operates isn't personal at all, it's just cold and hard and people do things that aren't in your agenda and you get ignored one week and embraced the next. You need to develop tougher skin.

Snap out of it & curse that anxiety!
You expect people to cater to you. They won't-never will. Take care of you, piss on them, just move on and learn to take care of your own needs. Their loss.

There are other ways to have lunch and people to have lunch with. There are many reasons you might not have gotten a call back, again, don't make it personal because the chances are 99% it wasn't meant to be.
Keep calling on the apt or move on to another opportunity but get your wits about you and make this your new Mantra................VERY FEW THINGS ARE PERSONAL IN A RATHER LARGE IMPERSONAL WORLD.

Answer 7

Coping with stress and anxiety includes the following steps:

* Laugh: Don't take your life so seriously. A sense of humor helps overcome worry by distracting the mind. Laughter may also produce endorphins, which help ease pain and offer a sense of relaxation and joy. Tell a joke, watch a comedy, and laugh when disaster strikes. You'll feel better with a smile on your face.


* Make plans: Worrying solves nothing. It cannot change situations or outcomes. The only way change comes about is through action. Instead of worrying, empower yourself by acting toward change. Worried about money? Create and implement a budget or seek professional financial counsel. Productivity creates an atmosphere of positive change that worry cannot achieve and makes overcoming anxiety possible.


* Herbs: There are several herbs one may use to help alleviate feelings of stress. Among them, Kava stands out. Kava enables the body to relax physically and mentally. Those with liver problems or Parkinson's disease should not use Kava. Adaptogenic herbs, such as the ginsengs and milk thistle are good herbs to consider. Adaptogens, or nerve tonics, help strengthen the body's resistance to stress. As always, follow the directions on the bottle and check with your doctor before beginning any herbal routine.


* Seek professional help: Having someone with whom you can discuss your worries may help lessen anxiety. A good counselor will listen attentively, enabling you to discover your underlying concerns. Together, you can create productive means of handling stress, so that you may heal emotionally and physically.

Answer 8

Well, it is a shame, that your self esteme is so low...you are sure that anything negative in your life, is your fault..and I have a feeling that people have made you feel this way, all of your life...the trick is to try to be rational, everytime something like this happens...instead of jumping to conclusions..you know the old saying, when we 'assume', you make an a s s out of u and me//so....listen...try to learn how to love yourself..and stop taking the blame for everything bad that happens..it happens to all of us, for sure.

Answer 9

It's not you it's them - You are expecting to much from everything - stop worrying and give it to God because YOU can not control everything - you must let someone else help you.

God has something in-store for you which is not the same ideas, hopes and friends you are going after.

Answer 10

You are worrying to much.