ok so here is the thing my husband and I have been talkin gabotu having another child...we already have a daughter who just turned two :) we figure if we go ahead and start now then the new baby would be born close to when she turns three so then they would be three years apart..I personaly dont care to have any more children but my husband really wants to try for a boy...I mean I would love second child just as much as ever but one is so hard right now and so I am just not sure my husband is in the military and so I feel like there I will be with two kids by myself they only other reason I would consider another child is maybe for my daughter as well i see how lonley she is she loves to have other kids around and with us moving all the time and all well anyways is really that much harder to have two and so what you think? should I go for it?
2007-08-21 14:00:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
3 under 3 that is very encouraging how do you do it?..I swear one sometimes drives me insane but I still love her and I think maybe it is time for another:)
2007-08-21 14:21:44 · update #1
I had 4 children under 5yo. At the time they were 4, 2, 15mths and new born. I was 25 yo when number 4 was born. Husband is military (coming up 20 years) - he was present for birth and one week only for the 1st, absent for the 2nd, he delivered the 3rd, 4th was born Sept 11 and he left soon after he was born given the rise in the security state etc.
I have longed for babe number 5 but now that our youngest is 5 I think the gap is too big.
I never intended to have kids at all, then when we did, we only wanted 2 and now have 4 and regret not having 5 and 6! Funny how things change...lol
This is a personal thing for you - but my piece, I think you should have 2, infact, I think you should have 4
Life is not any harder with 4 than it FELT when I had 1 as a 'single' mother. It really is all in your head - you make a decision to manage and it's funny how life just does work out.
Don't learn to be over dependant on your husband. No doubt they are helpful when they're around and its important for them to be active in the lives of their kids, but your identity as a person, how well you raise your kids and how well they turn out should NOT be dependant on whether or not your husband was around. The quality of your time together and his time with the kids is what matters, coupled with you setting yourself up to succeed in your role as a mother.
I think you should go for it and try not to worry too much about stuff you don't yet know the answers to.
2007-08-21 15:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello:
Well hun,this is a really tough question to answer especially since your husband is in the military because you will be moving all around ALOT! My uncle was in the military and I remember that my two cousins hated it because they never stayed in one place too long!
You and your husband are going to have to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of having another child and how it will affect your family! I am not trying to dissuade you from having another one,but do you really want a newborn and three year old at the same time,YIKES! Is there any way that you could wait until she is say four or five years old and then try for a baby?
I have a daughter who is in elementary school and I am happy having an only child because whenever we go on vacations during the summertime,I don't have to worry about packing diapers,formula,bottles,etc for another baby! I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do decide to do,but please give it alot of thought on how another baby will affect your family and your lifestyle being a military family! Good Luck and Best wishes to you and your family!
2007-08-21 21:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go for it.. I have two kids that are only 13 months apart. Two is a hard year for children but by the time she is three another child would be great for her to have, she will be so helpful with the new baby. Also It is good for children to have brothers and sisters, they learn a lot about sharing, and also play much better with other children outside the home. Having two children, I would not change it for the world. But the question always comes back to you "are you sure you want another baby??" I wish you all the luck.
2007-08-21 21:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by stepfie_caranci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The number of children is no harder than the first. You adapt so quickly. After three the number doesnt matter, you get such a routine going that its pretty simple from there on.
A three year old is plenty old enough to reason with and to help you with piddly little things like grabbing diapers or a bottle.
Only you know the dynamics of your family, but personally I love children, I love making children, and I love having them for my husband to enjoy. I love everything about it. The sleeplessness, and chaos, everything.
:) you'll figure it out.
2007-08-21 21:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that your realize that only your husbands sperm can determine the sex of the child? I know a gal who has seven girls and one boy, the last.
Gender can never be the reason for having children. You and your husband should be in complete agreement. I grew up in the military and know how hard things can become.
2007-08-21 21:12:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lizbiz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a very personal decision.
My eldest son will turn 3 when I have my baby in 6 weeks.
My youngest son will be 22 months(they are only 13 months apart)It depends if you can cope.
I could not imagine having a large age gap between my children,it is so much easier when they do everything together!
Mu husband travels for work so he is away every fortnight(for the week)and I mange just fine.I also have NO help.I have no family or friends where we live!
2007-08-21 21:18:48 · answer #6 · answered by gym junkie mummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it! My daughter is 2 1/2 and I am now 7 weeks pregnant with our second child! It's very exciting! She'll be 3 when he/she is born and I'm sure she'll be a big help too. She knows there's a baby in mama's tummy and is "careful" when she sits on my lap.
2007-08-21 21:09:21 · answer #7 · answered by laura_paura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two is cake since I have four now..lol
My first two are 3 years apart. It was perfect timing. The oldest was just out of diapers before the new baby came. Life was honestly pretty calm back then. My kids love that they have brothers and sisters.....most of the time....
Good luck :)
2007-08-22 01:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think two is the just right amount.
with three kids, a lot of the time the middle child feels left out.
2007-08-21 22:29:02 · answer #9 · answered by meredith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that two is great. I'm one of two and my husband is one of three. i'm happy knowing that when my parents pass, i have someone else to share the memories with.
it will probably be tough in the beginning (to have two small children with most of the work on yourself) but as your kids get older and more self sufficient it will be easier.
good luck with your decision.
2007-08-21 21:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by HNB GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋