I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. We didn't end up fighting or anything but it was awkward and we don't talk to each other anymore. I just don't know what to do when we see each other when school starts. It's his birthday soon... What should I do? Should I congratulate him or should I just pretend I forgot? He hasn't done anything to be friends so I don't know if I should...No rude comments! Thanks!
2007-08-21 13:51:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since he is your ex, you do not "owe" him anything, even a birthday wish. However, you could take the high road and be civil to him if he does speak to you, and just be cordial but don't go into too much detail about what you are doing now. After all, you have moved on so what you do now is none of his biz, and vice versa. If you see him in the hall at school, show him that you can be mature after moving on with your relationship, and smile and say hello, but that should be all. Good luck!
2007-08-21 13:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by PrincessOfFun35 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haven't spoken to an ex in a long time? Don't want to get "back together" but just be on good terms? No problem.
Here are some tips and advices from me to you:
1.Ask yourself if you want your ex to be your friend again. If your ex is the type to constantly use other friends, or you remember actually disliking his or her presence in the past, don't try, as it's probably not worth it.
2.Accept that you will need lots of time and patience. Men can be quite stubborn and women can hold grudges. If you think that you will have your friend back again in a few weeks, forget it.
3.Communicate with your ex. Just picking up the phone and calling him or her is normally the quickest way, but if you need a bit of help, pretend you were cleaning and found something that reminded you of them.
4.When you first begin talking to your ex (this is assuming you don't/never hated each other) they're going to want to talk about themselves. Or their current relationship. Or their school. Or their job. No matter what the topic, they're going to talk a lot. Let them. Try not to interject with your own information until they realize they've been talking forever. When they do finally realize it, one of two things will happen: one, they will apologize and give you a chance to compliment them, or two, they will ask you how you are.
5.Remember things that you had in common to begin the relationship, and try to use them as ways to begin conversations (sex, alcohol, etc. are not examples of reasons to be friends).
6.Get together for coffee or lunch. Again, let them do the talking. This is not a time to get all physical! A hug, at the most. Again, remember, this isn't about "getting" with them.
7.Suggest you communicate on a more frequent basis. Suggest another time/place to get together. If you can, tie it in with something you're doing for school/work/etc (ie, "Hey, my buddy's got a photo exhibit uptown. Would you wanna go with me this weekend?"). It will comfort the ex to know it's got an outside source, as it were.
8.Keep this up and you should be buddy-buddy with that ex in no time!
9.Remember, you're not rekindling an old flame, here. You probably just want to be able to talk to the person. Keep this in mind! If you just want to "hook up" with an old fling, this will not help you!
10.Be friendly and cordial, but don't flirt.
11.Treat your meeting as just that: a meeting. It's not a date, no matter how much it may feel like one.
12.If you and your ex were friends as well as lovers, this will be much, much easier.
13.Don't let a month go by without contact.
14.Do not vanish from the face of the planet after seeing them once. This will leave them hurt and confused.
15.Do not say or do anything that is ultra-personal from your relationship. For example, do not call your ex by that pet name or play "that song" in the car.
16.Drive separately.
17.Alcohol, while always good for loosening the tongue a bit, should be imbibed in moderation. Too much could allow either of you to get emotional, causing those old memories (possibly good or bad... most likely bad) to float to the surface.
18.Don't turn this into a booty call.
19.Don't tell your friends you're initially trying to contact your ex, especially if they are friends you had when you and your ex were together, and especially if your friends didn't like your ex. This is a personal matter. Keep it that way, at least for a while.
20.Don't fall into the old routine you had in your (failed) relationship. Take this time to show that you've grown. Remember whatever you did (because, let's face it, it was probably your fault if you're the one wanting to be friends), accept it, and try your hardest not to show signs of still being like that.
Okay, that's it I know. Hope it can help you. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-21 21:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by Heide Lyn C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since you guys havent talked and you arent on the best page, i wouldnt go get him anything or "congratulate" him.
the most i would do is, IF you see him around just give him a casual "happy birthday" and end it there.
simple and to the point.
good luck!
=]
2007-08-21 20:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by atomic_x_apples 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just play it cool... When you see him in the halls- make eye contact and smile...if you want to say Hi. You shouldnt ignore him but it might be awkard to talk to him.
If you see him on his b-day tell him happy birthday!
2007-08-21 21:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by (: 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just move on with your life. Be polite if he says hello but don't linger just say hi and move on.
It's probably for the best.
2007-08-21 20:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Weimaraner Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
me and my girlfriend ended the same way you guys did, just wish him happy birthday to show that the're no hard feelings.
2007-08-21 20:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by regis s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be polite when you see him. Smile and move on psychologically and geographically.
2007-08-21 20:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by ciao_gina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's part of your past so now you move on. Forget about him.
2007-08-21 20:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by Irish 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget him. If he doesn't want to be friends, don't waste your time on him.
2007-08-21 20:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Narb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just forget and move on.
2007-08-21 20:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋