Why can't I find someone? Everyone I know big and small, unattractive and attractive finds a man.?

Question

They have boyfriend after boyfriend, some already on their second husbands. I am 32 and can't find a guy to show any interest. I am told all the time I am very attractive(although I don't feel like I am). Average size, not skinny, but not fat, long hair, good features. Always good hygiene, have a good personality, am smart, hard worker, don't act too desperate or look TOO hard.....why can't I find someone? Like I said, everyone I know has a boyfriend or a husband, some very unattractive, some attractive, some with horrible personalities some with good. Yes I am picky, but I went to a speed dating thing and got 0 matches, and only 3 out of 40 that said yes. Not even unattractive men were interested. My friend who is very plain got 14 matches. Nobody approaches me,nobody seems interested after we go out. Some like me at first glance but then lose interest. I stay positive, try not to put myself down, am a good listener. Could it be that they sense lack of self confidence?

Also, I do wear makeup and always fix make myself look presentable and put together.

To answer some questions. I do workout.
I don't think I am TOO attractive. I have about 25 to 30 lbs I am trying to lose....but I see people that are obese and some that are too skinny with boyfriends, husbands etc....
I am a fun person. I am not highly educated school wise, but I am intelligent and street wise and I have a stable office job.

Answer 1

hon u pickkyyyyyyyyyy. god luck

Answer 2

maybe... it's because you are so stuck on physical appearances? I mean look how many times you mention your, or other peoples, physical qualities. Men... once we mature... can usually detect that kind of personality in a person. Or perhaps it's something else about your personality, what do you usually talk about when you go on dates? With the luck you have it is really doubtful you have any physical issues, and equally as unlikely that EVERY single guy you meet has a problem. I would put my money on it being either something you say or some way you act around these guys that does it... maybe it's time for some soul searching.
And since I don't want to be too judgemental, perhaps you need to change where it is that you meet these guys. Maybe they are just really shallow and only want to get laid, or want a supermodel you know?

Answer 3

I definitely can't give you an exact answer on here because I don't know you but I'll try. Don't ask friends who will tell you what you want to hear for advice. Ask some complete strangers who meet you what you're doing wrong. Maybe some people at the speed dating place. Ask the guys why they didn't pick you. Tell them that it won't hurt your feelings and that you're trying to learn what it is about yourself that men just don't like. You'll probably never see those guys again so it really doesn't matter what they say. You need to find some constructive criticism from people who you're trying to date. Hopefully someone will shed a little light on something you're just not realizing. Good luck out there ;)

Answer 4

It could be...but could it be that YOU lack self confidence? You said "I try not put myself down." What on Earth does that mean? Does it mean you do put yourself down, but try not to? That isn't attractive to a mate.

It sounds silly, but people really do want someone who loves them self. If you don't love yourself, you can't POSSIBLY love someone else.

You also said you got 0 matches. Perhaps speed dating isn't your thing. It takes a certain personality type to do that sort of thing. Personally, I could never do it. I prefer to, and always have, become good friends with males before I even considered them as more than that.

Do you have male friends? Maybe you should look at them as more than that. If they are your friends, you obviously have things in common with them and could share activities with.

If you don't have (single) male friends, I would suggest finding a place or activity where men and women (single and coupled, doesn't matter if it's just singles or not) do things together. Maybe take a cooking class or join a gym or volunteer at an animal shelter. Find something you love to do and go out and do it. You're bound to meet people that you could "match" with if you're doing things you like!

Answer 5

My honest opinion: either people think you are to good for them or they think you think you are to good for them. It doesn't sound like you have a lack of confidence problem, if anything it sounds like the exact opposite.

If people think you are to good for them, they won't give you a shot because they fear rejection. However if it is the other way around, perhaps you give off an heir of arrogance as if you are looking down upon people because you take pride in yourself. If this is the case people may fear you are snotty because of your beauty and confidence. It is a crappy situation to be in, and I can't think of much to remedy it.

Perhaps you should try taking on the role of the "aggressor" when you are out. Men may simply be intimidated by you, and as such don't want to make the first move. Once you make an advance you can read the person and see if it is worth pursuing. If things seem to be clicking just try to be calm, cool, collected and down to earth - there isn't much else you can do.

Answer 6

You are not alone. Some of the brightest and most interesting people that I know are unattached. But they are truly happy with their lives because they don't analyze others and never would feel so unworthy because of a silly speed date (is that a measure for someones compatibility?). These people will always have friends and interests and I believe will find someone with to share their lives. The most important traits they share are confidence and humility. You will be OK when you relax and stop trying to meet someone who really isn't involved in what you find important.

Answer 7

I feel the same way. I feel it's because we're too picky about what we want. But then again there are a lot of people that get together just for sex. If you like to take things slow, that may be a turnoff. That's one of the reasons i cannot find a boyfriend. Good luck.

Answer 8

First, i prefer to talk to you approximately your self-properly worth. learn how to be chuffed on your man or woman epidermis. once you experience self assurance it shows to others. self assurance is incredibly appealing. It would not purely are available in small applications. self assurance is in all styles and sizes. Now, why adult males like vast females. splendor is interior the eyes of the beholder. in case you ask, maximum adult males choose a splash meat a woman. the actual international isn't drawn to the Paris Hilton's or Nicole Richie's of the international. possibly once you initiate up accepting your flaws, you would be happier and in turn even lose some weight. If no longer, then pass forth sista and be pleased with who you're.

Answer 9

My brothers been woundering the same thing, hes good looking, plays the guitar, loves animals and children, has been my rock for years after our dad died.

You two should meet, I'm serious, he owns his own HVAC business, and the old ladies(his customers) love him, because he treats everyone important, they even knit him scarves.

He has been praying for the right woman, and he wants to be a dad, hes had names picked out for years. He's such a good brother and uncle to my kids, you would love him, he looks like Kurt Russell a lot, when he was in the movie Backdraft.

I am the baby of a big family, and my brother has always been there for me, he believes in forever, a man of his word.

Pray about this, and then get back with me, this might be fate. Email me at [e-mail], send me a picture of you, and I will send you one of him.

Answer 10

Possibly; maybe your just to attractive, sometimes that intimidates guys. Go to your local video store, those are the best places to meet people. If you see a guy renting a movie by himself, then chances are he's single. What better way to start a conversation than to talk about a movie he likes. Hang in there.

Answer 11

Maybe keep an open mind when you meet people at first - they might get the impression that they are going through the 'quality control' process - although you need to do this and there is nothing wrong with that, some men might find that intimidating.