I have a large family, and I've found that in the past they have generally sent holiday gifts for my children that weren't age appropriate. For example, last year my girls were 2 and they recieved many play sets with tiny pieces and a ton of clothes sized 4T. I'm thinking of sending out notes this year with general information such as their sizes, interests, and characters they like as sort of a guide. I know I would personally appreciate it if others did this to help me buy gifts for their children, but I'm worried that they may not see it this way. Its not that I don't appreciate what they do for my kids, I just would hate for everyone to spend their time and money buying something that can't even be used for another year or two again. I thought about sending letters asking for this information first, but the people that buy these gifts don't have children so that won't really work. Does anyone have any opinions or better ideas?
2007-08-21 12:38:25 · 7 answers · asked by your mom 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
What do you guys think about me calling the members of the family with kids and asking them to send me this kind of info about their kids first, then hope that they ask for the same from me about mine and word spreads to other family members? That might do the trick without me seeming rude or unappreciative...
2007-08-21 13:43:07 · update #1
I wouldn't send out the letter. I would just accept whatever they send and save it until it is appropriate.
2007-08-21 12:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the things your children get are too big etc just keep them till they are suitable, and buy then a small gift secretly from you that suits.
After all a gift is a gift and should be accepted in the spirit they are given. or If you don't want them, why not consider donating ing them to a charity for kids that don't get any gifts at all.
Also, maybe send photos, and letters with up to date info and general news and chat about your children, on a regular basis to your famly, they may enjoy the communication, and will also have the information about their stage of development to choose more age appropriate gifts.
2007-08-21 13:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by maggie rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could jokingly say that the words normal and mother-in-law when used an an adjective and noun are an oxymoron. You have a mother-in-law who is a self-referential person. The world revolves around her because she says so. If she met your mother in the supermarket, your mother would become important for how she handled the meeting. Your M-I-L's behavior is both toxic and harmless. You are far enough away that you can see it with a bit of objectivity and feel sorry for her. She wastes all her life energy trying to be important to someone other than herself. People who act the way she does feel totally insignificant and create importance through becoming information central for the family. Best way to handle her is not spend a moment trying to analyze the motives behind her behaviors. In the card situation, I can guess that she is showing non-verbal disapproval of people who send a card TO HER without a personal message. Live your lives. You get only one and if you spend the next few decades until she passes on worrying about what she approves or disapproves of, you will find yourself in your sixties and your life over! Know that her philosophy of, "If I have but one life to live, let it be yours" doesn't work. Don't pass her beliefs on to your kids, nor use her behaviors when you are the old ones. Have a great life and use the combined depth of the Christmas cards to prop up the wobbly leg on your dresser!
2016-05-19 02:40:38 · answer #3 · answered by simone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should send the letter just be very careful with the wording. Something to the effect of, please understand I am in no way requesting gifts however since you sent my children a gift last year I thought this information might help when you are shopping. Please excuse this letter but the children are so disappointed (as I'm sure you would be as the giver) when I cannot allow to play with something designed for an older child.
2007-08-21 13:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do, is I would receive the gifts before my children do, check them and make sure they are age appropriate. If not, I would hold them until the Christmas comes along where they ARE age appropriate. And soon, the gifts that you have been holding, awaiting for your kids to reach a certain age will be ready to give to your kids. So then, you will keep the flow of gifts as normal. In the meantime, be very thankful and appreciative as usual and thats that. If it ever comes up and you are asked about how they liked these gifts, be honest and tell them about how you are anxiously awaiting to be able to give "the gift(s)" to your girls when they are at the right age for the gift because you just know they will absolutely go nuts about it! And you want to wait until you know that they are old enough to fully appreciate it and enjoy it. Good luck!
2007-08-21 12:52:18 · answer #5 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could send out a "family letter" telling everyone how your family is doing, esp. if you live in a different state. You can include how the girls have grown and they are all the way up to a size 3T now. They are really starting to love baby dolls, etc. My husband and I have celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and we are looking to blah, blah
some people send one out every year.
2007-08-21 14:17:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a huge violation of etiquette to give people suggestions about gifts for your kids and it might make you look bad because it might make it look like you are fishing for gifts for your children. If people ask you can make suggestions but I'd be hesitant to do anything more.
2007-08-21 19:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋