sex & the age 30 & over married women.......?

Question

just want to ask this coz im curious.what's your view about sex after being married for some time(say 2 years or more),had kids & obviously your age is starting to get into you?i am also married for 3 years now with 3 kids & i still can't figure out why sex is so much of an issue among other couples that giving in or denying it can either make or break a relationship.needless to say,im contented in that aspect,he he,but i just want to know what exactly do other women in my age category think about it.had it also been a big deal between you & your partners or are there some kind of compromise when it comes to going to bed with the hubby?& do you encounter problems when it comes to hitting the sack after years of being together?

btw,im 36,hubby is 51 & am just enjoying my married life

to the one who said she's 30 & not old,ill make one thing clear sweetie; im not asking about age issues here,i am asking about sexual & some marital issues for MARRIED women in their 30s & up (coz im in that age bracket & i often hear some women in my age group & way into their 40's having problems or compromises regarding this area).your age is YOUR problem so if you're contented with it fine with me.

thanks a lot to the people who responded to this question.i do appreciate them & im so happy to know that a lot of women within my age bracket is happy,contented & very much open to their partners when it comes to the physical yet divinely joyful(or so i believe,ha ha!) bliss that sex within the union of marriage can bring.however,anyone who has not been married but is within a union of 5 years & up can also share their opinion here as well.

i sympathise with those women who admitted they had to find their bliss with someone else.i may not have been in your shoes but i do know how it was to live in a relationship where your needs were not fulfilled(my former partner was so selfish that he only wants to please himself when we do it).i wont say its right or wrong to find another man to satisfy you or ease the emptiness but then i just wish that you may finally find what you're looking for in a relationship one day,whether in the other one or with your partner.

question open to women in their 40's,50's or even over who had something to say regarding this matter too,be they married or living with their partners for a long time.

oops,forgot to add,MEN WITHIN THE SAME AGE BRACKETS I MENTIONED CAN ALSO HAVE THEIR SAY NOW.your views & opinions are very much welcome.

Answer 1

Try over 40! It really isn't a problem when you have a good foundation and the spark was there to begin with. One of the problems is diminishing energy - as you get older, you are still taking care of your responsibilities and at the end of the day are a lot more worn out than you were 10 years ago. Sometimes it just takes more effort because of the energy needed. The other part of it is that a male and female sexual peak are totally out of sync. Men peak at 18 - 20 and women peak at 40 - menopause. The positive is that after time together, there is a comfort level that makes it great. You are more comfortable trying new things because you are less self-conscious and can actually laugh together if things turn out to be totally ridiculous. You are more tuned into each other emotionally which adds so much more than when you are in your 20s and it is more like just screwing.

Answer 2

I've been married for the second time going on 21 years now. Got 3 boys 19, 18, 15.

It has been challenging at times between work and the kids, but we always seemed to find a time and place. Most of the early years it was a variation 3-5 times a week, now it runs maybe twice and it is usually the same. There doesnt seem to be a want on her part to really change it up anymore...kindof, here it is - do it...or lay down for an oral session. Then also, when I think we are going to, we wind up not, and that becomes very disappointing and although you want to yell, if you gripe, then it seems more like a mercy thing and that ain't worth a dime.

Both have to communicate their feelings and thoughts to make it through. You cant just close off your partner and go looking for fulfillment. Heres to all the young couples...just remember to talk openly and honestly about what you need, feel, want because there is always some player out there trying to play the game and your partner could be the next one on the list and you the next victim.

There was an event on her part that caused some of the lack of variety and I must admit that I look at her quite differently now. I feel half the time it is just all an act for the masses. So much of what we had is gone due to her stupid decisions. I thought I had a great woman that I'd never have to worry about. What a waste.

Answer 3

i've been married for four and a half years and have lived with my husband for seven years. We have 3 kids and we are both 32.

I am mostly happy with our sex life, but I would be even happier if we had sex more often. He's a professional truck driver and works regionally, so he's only home between two and four nights a week. We have sex those nights, but I would be happier with everyday. He's a steel hauler and has a lot of physical work adjusting chains and tarps, so he is often sore and tired when he's here. therefore, our foreplay time is a bit shorter than I would like. It doesn't bother me as much as it might because I almost always orgasm and he sometimes has more energy to put into it.

Since we have lived together, we have gone to bed at the same time more often than not. We like to cuddle and talk away from the distractions of kids, televisions and computers before we fall asleep. The only problems we have sharing a bed seem to come from temperature. If we're too hot or too cold, we toss and turn and don't sleep well together.

The compromises we make seem to have to do with more and less. If I want sex more and he wants less, he'll either ask me to wait a bit or make an effort to do it anyway to please me. If he wants sex and I do not, I will have sex and just enjoy the closeness or I will give him oral. Other than that, we have learned a lot about sexual possibilities and each others views on sex over the years, so we don't have to compromise much because we agree.

Answer 4

I've been married 12 years. I have no problem in that department either. Sure we go through ruts. We have 2 kids (one with special needs) and it takes a toll. Some nights we just crash and sleep. Other days, we can't get enough of each other and have sex two or more times a day.

It would be a deal breaker for me though if there were NO sex. I enjoy the intimacy and the closeness that only sex can bring you.

Answer 5

I had this same conversation with 30 something female co-workers today and we all came to the same conclusion..we are just too tired. LOL..After work, raising children, school (in my case) and dealing with the drama of every day life, sometimes the energy required for a good session is just not there. My husband seems to pout and get an attitude if there are more than 3 days between our sessions. Realizing this, I try to be considerate of how he feels and fulfill his needs. Before kids, sex was more frequent and the energy level constantly at a peak. I do not believe the desire for good sex frequently leaves after a certain age, real life just puts it on the back burner.

Answer 6

Just browsing, and WOW, great info, knowledge found here. 'cept for the folly of the boys. They still reading Maxim magazine.

Wondering if vitamins might help women for energy? Not just hormones - Super B Complex with Niacin or the full flush Niacin (B3) will open up men's capillaries with minor circulation problems. Super B is packed into those "stay awake" packets too. Be sure to take vitamins 4-6 hours before bedtime, or no sleep with energy.

Have heard the commercials for B12-B6-Folic acid vitamins might help also. ++ Plus other vitamins will help the skin and illnesses that tire anyone out. Capsules of Cod Liver Oil have natural A and D for the skin. Magnesium and others are deficient in our soils too. Co-Q10 good for the heart, but expensive; some need it, necessary.

Picking up those 50 lb+ kids is the equivalent of weight lifting. Yet so many give up workouts after kids are grown, for lack of energy (Mississippi #1 in size today 08-2807).

Niacin natural opens up the capillaries with a warm feeling, especially the head and face. Supposed to move the sludge thru the blood too. Might make life too exciting, ladies. Yet cheaper than the drugs if needed.

If any need counseling help, hit these sites, help others:

http://www.americasfamilycoaches.com/

http://www.familylife.com/

http://www.family.org/

Answer 7

I am going to be 30 in a few weeks. I have been married for 11 years and we both still love sex. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else but him. Sex IS important. If my husband wasn't interested, I would be mad and we would have some major rows over it! Luckily, we are on the same page.

Answer 8

I have been married for 3 almost 4 years and I feel that having kids you tend to take care of the kids more than yourself. Even with you sexual needs, I know that age plays no problem or hindrance on my sex live but making sure the baby isn't going to wake up/get up is what I worry about the most.

Answer 9

Sex is a bonus in my relationship. I have been married for 3 years and am truly happy. My husband and I enjoy each other very much. As a matter of fact, we sometimes hate to have company over on the weekends when the kids are gone because that is when we really enjoy each other. We have the whole house to ourselves. We still do the same things we did before we were married.

Answer 10

Anything can become a big deal between two people whose requirements are different. Sex was a "big deal" in my past marriage, as my husband had a much stronger drive than I did. Not only that, he of course wanted me to be "into it" too, so simply "giving him" sex didn't really fly. Now sex isn't a big deal because I'm married to a man who has a fairly low interest in it, so we're more closely matched. Men like him are few and far between, tho - so until I met him, I was kind of prepared to deal with this problem for the rest of my life.