How do I tell a mother I won't babysit her 4 year old child because he is a brat? In a sensitive way?

Question

I actually like this little boy, but I want the one day off that he comes. I would consider keeping him inspite of having him that day I want off, expect he is causing me some stress as he has only been here for 3 days and he has hit and sworn, and lied to me. He is not defient, but he does not seem to understand what he does wrong. He is in trouble almost contantly. His mother just says 'good luck' and drops him off and doesn't get him in trouble when he acts up here. I could get him to behave if I stuck with it as he is not defient, but he comes twice a week and I want that one day off. Plus it is causing me stress and I dont' want stress right now about things as I have alot on my plate. So today I am going to tell her that September is a no go because he swore today and lied and is still hitting or something. The main thing is that I REALLY want that one day off.

the mother may say 'oh well you can have that day off'.. but because of his behavior, I am not interested in continuing

Answer 1

If you don't want to watch him because of his behavioral issues, be upfront with her - honest in a tactful way. Don't try to wiggle out by telling her you want that day off - because she very well may say 'okay, take it off' - and you're still stuck. He lacks discipline, and his behavior (hitting, swearing and lying) is unacceptable in your environment. If you're watching other children, you have to consider them, too - and can't have them in a potentially threatening or harmful environment. It sounds like the little guy has some home-based issues (especially if he doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong) where a little guidance and boundaries would go along way. If you find yourself back into a corner, and feel obligated (for whatever reason) to watch him on the "other" day, you might let her know that you could watch him the one day (if that's what you want to do) but that - somehow - boundaries and guidelines are going to have to be followed. There are kids in my sons' preschool who act a whole lot different at home, and are VERY well-behaved at preschool, they just need to know what's expected of them.

I have a friend that's a child care provider, and her contracts are a month-by-month, and renewal is based on child's behavior. When she's been in your situation, she just tells the parents - about the middle of the month - that she'll no longer be able to watch their child/children. She does not get into explanations, excuses, or apologies. It's less stressful for her that way.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Tell her exactly what you said here, but do NOT use the word brat. You need a day off, and it is one of the days she brings him. You are not able to handle his behavior, and it is causing you stress. Because of his behavior that you cannot baby sit him. You must be completely professional, and discuss only his behavior, and your inability to handle it.

Answer 3

Tell her the child's behavior is more than you are willing to handle and she needs to find another sitter. Giver her a 2-3 week deadline to locate another sitter.

Answer 4

just tell her that you cannot keep sitting for her unless she starts disiplining him at home and tells him that he has to behave at the sitters . kids that misbehave at home ,misbehave at home too . so in other words mama aint doing her job at home and busting that butt . tell her you cannot control him either and she must make him behave . If she does not understand oh well take him somewhere else . good luck dear .

Answer 5

Tell her you have plans and you can't watch her child you don't have to mention anything about her child's behavior problems

Answer 6

just tell her that things in you schedule have changed and you can't take him that day anymore....