:P
"In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it, a freedom hole."-John Stewart.
Love this man! ^^
Now its your turn. Do you have any funny quotes to share? They have to be FUNNY! No trolling allowed!
2007-08-21 10:35:29 · 9 answers · asked by Antares 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
"Democracy is when someone rings your bell at 7 am and you know it is the milkman."
Churchill
"The concept of communism : Give me your watch, I'll give you the time."
Churchill
And one I heard in the airport from a little boy who heard me talking in my own language and asked his Mom what I was saying. She explained that I was a foreigner and didn't speak English.
"But Mommy, if they don't speak English how can they understand each other?"
My reality cheque bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - USAF Ammo Troop.
2007-08-21 11:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by didi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Ben Franklin 1706-1790
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain 1835-1910
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Josh Billings 1818-1885
One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.
James Russell Lowell 1819-1891
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Finley Peter Dunne 1867-1936
INCUMBENT: A person of the liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
Ambrose Bierce 1842-1914
2007-08-22 16:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by Don B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was done by my oldest son, after dumping Orange Juice over his younger brothers head. And then in turn me asking Alex what happen to Matthew.
"It wasn't me it was Matthew" quote by Alex
2007-08-21 17:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kathy H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I saw this on a T-shirt once, and as a mom it certainly rang true. This has always been my favorite.
Mothers of teenagers understand why animals eat their young.
2007-08-21 17:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by iamnoone 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance." ~ George Bernard Shaw
"Alcohol, if taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication" ~ Oscar Wilde
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan, and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine to the dance, he'd melt my brain." ~ George McFly
2007-08-21 17:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
"I'm ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is ready to face the ordeal of meeting me is a different matter."
~Sir. Winston Churchell
2007-08-21 17:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
~~George Carlin~~
2007-08-21 17:45:26 · answer #7 · answered by genaddt 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Two choices on mother's menu:
Take It or Leave It
2007-08-21 17:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is a cuccumber, once in your hand and once in your *********** - a real arab quote.
2007-08-21 17:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋