This guy that I like (we are both going through divorces) and I want to be friends with kissed and held me last weekend and I really liked it. We talked alot and I told him I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he said he wasn't either but the body has needs. He'd like to be friends with benefits. No strings attached and no commitments right now. He said no pressure and that if it came to that (sex) it'd be cool but he would rather have me a friend then ruin it with a physical relationship. Do you think this could turn into something good after our divorces and our alone time is over? I really do like him and want him but I'm not sure this is the time. I would really like to get with him when all of this is said and done. I just don't want to scare him off. We both got married too young and need to do things we didn't when we were younger. Please help! What should I do?
2007-08-21 10:13:42 · 18 answers · asked by Lucky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 24 and he's 25. We both are just now ending 6 yr. marriages. (not because of each other my husband left me for another woman) I just need to know what to do. I REALLY LIKE HIM!
2007-08-21 10:15:12 · update #1
I am just getting over a 5 year relationship that was basically a commonlaw marriage, so I can totally understand where you're coming from. Personally, I would stay friends with him. You two can hang out and get to know each other for a little bit, but, don't jump into a relationship with one another. I TOTALLY understand what you mean about the body having needs, and, how you can possibly ruin a good friendship because you have a bunch of emotions running through you. I had to fight off those myself with a very good female friend who was just coming out of a bad relationship herself as I was coming out of my relationship.
The two of us went out a few times, and then things started to get heated, and we both decided that it would be best for us to cool off for a little while and make sure that we both were in the right state of mind before we tried to make a relationship together. I give you the same advice. Try and take some time seeing your friend first. Don't let any physical emotions get in the way. If you feel that they are, tell him, and he should understand. That way when the two of you are mentally stable enough to have a relationship, you can put your full attention into one another.
2007-08-21 10:23:44 · answer #1 · answered by cjmeyer57 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him, do not get involved in a physical relationship with him. If he openly asked for a NSA relationship the relationship likely would never progress to the point you want it to after you are both divorced. You would be much better off telling him that you would rather maintain your friendship and try for an actual relationship with him down the line after each of you have had your "alone" time.
2007-08-21 17:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by labken1817 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can be friends or see each other later. His body may have needs but never more so than when he was a teenager. If Rosey Palm can handle a teenager she can handle a divorced adult!
Don't sleep with him until you're both ready for a relationship or you will get seriously hurt by the time it's all said and done.
2007-08-21 17:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jennicysm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should continue to be friends and when the divorces are over see where your relationship takes you. Having benefits can be okay because you would make each other feel better, but it could ruin the relationship leaving no interest physically.
2007-08-21 17:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by Hot as Ice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound like a good idea. Friends with benefits never ends well. It ends because one of the friends finds someone they like better and the other person (usually the woman) ends up feeling rejected. You might just be having these feelings because of the hurt situation you are experiencing. Try to avoid beng physical for a while and get to know him and see how you feel.
2007-08-21 17:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by ondia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK this is what I think...Do not jump from one "serious" relationship..right into another. You both are hurt..you both are looking for someone to console you...Im not saying "dont see him" ...but become "friends" ...do stuff together..hang out..go to the movies....don't jump into sex...it will never work. If you like him..then sharing time together and getting to know him will be fun..without pressure of sex. If he pushes you into it because you're both lonely..make it consentual and understand the consequences of maybe the outcome...ok?? What do ya think?? You just divorced your husband ..give it time ..become friends..then in time ...you will discover if you want to make love to him and if he is the right one. ...OK? Did I help?? God Bless...
2007-08-23 08:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can take a chance and do this friends with benefits, but if he really liked you, I don't think he would offer that.. I think he would offer to go out with you. The line he gave you is something guys say to get friends with benefit... There's a saying "why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free."
2007-08-21 17:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by moose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell girl no harm going out with a guy, and it sounds like he's pretty decent as well. Not wanting to go all the way at first is the best way to go. Some of us men like girls that hold out a bit and not rush into something. This might work. Good luck.
2007-08-21 17:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any man that talks about friends "with benefits" is a pig and shouldn't be trusted. If he wants your "benefits" then he should be willing to wait until you have healed from you breakup. By the way what are you thinking about, sleeping with him?? Ease up, get to know the guy first!!!
2007-08-21 17:21:14 · answer #9 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to impose a waiting period on yourself. Since your husband left you you are free to follow your heart (or whatever happens to guide you). So if you both feel like being friends, that's fine. If both of you want sex, that's fine too. Just do as you please and enjoy it. No need to feel bad either way.
2007-08-21 17:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by cyranonew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋